


The Bass Player

by nicockla



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Ashton Irwin, Bottom Calum Hood, Choking, Confusion, Dirty Talk, Face-Fucking, Falling In Love, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Hook-Up, Jealousy, M/M, Riding, Rimming, Secret Relationship, Smut, Top Ashton Irwin, Top Calum Hood, ashton is so horny jesus christ, in different bands, kaykay blaisdell, like once, luke hemmings/sierra deaton - Freeform, mention calum hood/michael clifford, mention luke hemmings/calum hood, mention michael clifford/ashton irwin, michael clifford/crystal leigh - Freeform, past Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin - Freeform, past kaykay blaisdell/ashton irwin, promiscuous ashton irwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 68,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25084411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicockla/pseuds/nicockla
Summary: ❝ The one where Calum is the Bass player in Ashton's band's opening act❞
Relationships: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 25
Kudos: 59
Collections: The Bass Player & Extra's





	1. 0.0

** Cast by band **

**_ Angels & Trinkets _ **

⊹ _Angel Davidson_ ⊹

**|Rhythm Guitar/Lead Vocals|**

⊹ _Lesedi Grant_ ⊹

**|Keyboard/Vocals|**

⊹ _Rachael Hayes_ ⊹

**|Drums/Vocals|**

⊹ _Nia Obasi_ ⊹

**| Lead Guitar/Vocals|**

⊹ _Calum Hood_ ⊹

**|Bass/Backing Vocals|**  
  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━  
  
  
  


**_ Tempted Timeless _ **

⊹ _Luke Hemmings_ ⊹

**|Rhythm Guitar/Lead Vocals|**

⊹ _Michael Clifford_ ⊹

**|Lead Guitar/Vocals|**

⊹ _Ashton Irwin_ ⊹

**|Drums/Vocals|**

⊹ _Angus Shepherd_ ⊹

**|Bass|**  
  
  


━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━  
  
  
  


**_Rockknot_ **

⊹ _Stacey Jones_ ⊹

**|Lead Vocals/Keyboard|**

⊹Zahair Williams⊹

**|Lead Guitar/Vocals|**

⊹Munir Williams⊹

**|Drums/Vocals|**

⊹ _Sam Ji_ ⊹

**|Bass|**  
  



	2. European Tour

** Tempted Timeless **

** 2018 **

** European Tour **

_With Special Guests Angels & Trinkets_

**23rd of October - Glasgow - Scotland**

_24th of October - Glasgow - Scotland_

**26th of October - Manchester - England**

_27th of October - Manchester - England_

**29th of October - Brixton - England**

_30th of October - London - England_

**1st of November - Birmingham - England**

_2nd of November - Sheffield - England_

**4th of November - Brussels - Belgium**

_5th of November - Amsterdam - Netherlands_

**6th of November - Hamburg - Germany**

_8th of November - Copenhagen - Denmark_

**9th of November - Oslo - Norway**

_10th of November - Stockholm - Sweden_

**12th of November - Cologne - Germany**

_13th of November - Paris - France_

**15th of November - Munich - Germany**

_16th of November - Zurich - Switzerland_

**17th of November - Milan - Italy**

_19th of November - Madrid - Spain_


	3. 0.1

**_[23rd of October - Glasgow]_ **

"Okay, we need to check Nia's second guitar, so 'Baby Girl' from the top then we're finished," Angel called over her shoulder, she was standing up front caressing the microphone stand looking ready to get lost in the song as soon as it started.

She was dressed in her usual skater skirt and tucked in blouse, with the same boots she wore every time they performed. Her denim jacket was thrown across the edge of the stage, and her hair was a freshly washed head of tight curly black hair. She was practically already stage ready for the night. Already wearing makeup as well, her thick eyebrows and sharp jawline were well defined which was even more prepared than she usually was. Which as Calum looked around he realised they were all much more prepared than usual, he guessed it must have been the excitement of their first show, and if anyone else were around they might be embarrassed.

Rachael was dressed similarly except her shirt was Green Day, and her skirt was form-fitted, not to mention she was a serial Converse wearer. She, too, had done her makeup and had her soft, tight curls freshly washed. Somehow she was still wearing her jacket while drumming which Calum quietly thought was crazy but she didn't seem to be sweating at all.

It must have been colder than he thought though because somehow Lesedi was wearing a pair of flare overalls which would have been fine with a t-shirt underneath, but they had a thick sweatshirt instead, and he could hear their rubber-soled converse tapping gently against the floor as they played. This was a habit of theirs as well as bobbing their head unlike the others though their thick hair stayed in place, and a big goofy grin was never missing either.

Nia was the complete opposite; her face was a mask of indifference whenever she was playing but would swirl and turn with the guitar in her arms with her long box braids whipping around behind her as she went. She didn't seem to be bothered by the cold, and when Calum had offered her his jacket earlier, she'd told him 'a hoe never gets cold', which made sense seeing as Lesedi was in a thick sweater and Nia was in a crop top and no shoes on the cold floor. But then again, that was how she always dressed so he shouldn't have been surprised.

Calum realised he'd played the entire song without paying any attention what so ever, which wasn't a massive feat considering it was a pretty simple bass part but still concerning. Maybe it was the nerves that had him over analysing everything they were doing and wearing. Would the audience think they were trying too hard? Or not enough.

Calum wasn't dressed yet and was still in a sweatshirt and jeans from the flight. They'd only arrived in Glasgow that morning, the others had obviously gotten ready, and Cal had immediately taken a nap. But because of that, it meant they hadn't had a chance to meet the main band _Tempted Timeless_ (TT). None of them had really said anything under the guise of professionalism, but _Angels and Trinkets_ (A+T) had been a TT cover band before they'd started writing their own music.

The excitement though unspoken was bubbling beneath the surface of all of them. It hadn't been that long ago that the only thing they posted to their YouTube channel was TT covers. Now they had an assortment of original songs to call their own and a record deal in the works. And of course that they were now touring with the band who's music had gotten them their start.

The exciting energy still hadn't dissipated by the time they'd packed up their stuff, so they found themselves in the stands toward the back of the venue.

"I'm so nervous to perform tonight, this is gonna be the biggest show we've ever played," Lesedi said excitedly, hands gripping the seat they were sitting on the wrong way, looking up at Angel and Nia who were sitting on the row of seats behind them.

"I know it's going to be ridiculous!"Rachael cheered tapping excitedly on the back of her own chair.

"I wonder when we'll get to meet them, and if we'll actually get to talk to them a bit," Angel wondered aloud.

"Well if you look over there," Nia pointed over toward the left-hand side of the stage, "that's Luke and Angus right there," her eyes were locked on the pair who seemed focused on a tense conversation.

The group fell silent as Lesedi, Rachael and he turned to look back at the stage to watch the two men, if Calum were, to be honest, it looked as though they were arguing. Which wasn't a great first impression, but it might have been nothing. He guessed the others must have been thinking the same thing, but before any of them could voice this, Luke realised they were being watched and looked up waving happily and grinning up at them. Angus left while he had his back turned and when Luke realised he followed him backstage and disappeared.

"Guess it'd still be cool if we met Ashton and Michael," Cal said with a shrug.

"Yeah I guess it would be pretty cool to meet me," a voice sounded from behind Calum.

Calum whipped around and saw Michael behind him with a cheeky grin on his face, and Ashton a few steps behind sipping unaffectedly on his iced latte.

"Well that's embarrassing," Calum said a blush coating his cheeks.

"We've been meaning to come and find you since they told us you'd been picked up from the airport, I'd like to pretend we're usually more organised than this,"

The band laughed in response, "That's okay we'll have plenty of time over the next month to annoy you," Angel said with a cheeky smile.

"And plenty more time for Calum to embarrass himself," Lesedi added with a laugh bubbling out of them.

Calum flushed deeply again, "You all know I blush at anything, this isn't fair!"

"Don't worry about it, man, you'll get worse from us over the next few months I'm sure," Michael chuckled.

"I don't know we're pretty hard on him," Rachael chuckled reaching across to jab cal in his side.

They all chuckled and continued talking like that for ten or so minutes with Ashton only smiling and nodding in agreement when the boys were called away to do their soundcheck.

A+T left to get ready, their excited buzz still running as they spoke in hushed voices about their hopes to meet Angus and Luke and how nice they'd hopefully be. Calum was quietly thinking about the fact that Ashton must have thought they were silly amateurs based on his quiet demeanour. He wanted to say fuck it and not care... but that's harder to do than you think.   
  



	4. 0.2

**_[26th of October - Manchester]_ **

They were playing in a new venue, in a new city, in a new country just three days later. Absolutely surreal. What was an even stranger feeling was the knowledge that Ashton Irwin was watching from side stage. This time he sipped from a plastic cup full of vodka Redbull. Calum knew exactly what it was because he'd watched (the way you can't help but let your eyes follow some people) as he'd made the drink.

That wasn't the important part though; the important part was that he was playing one of the biggest shows of his life and he was entirely distracted imagining what he looked like from Ashton's perspective. Did he look as stiff as he felt? He was consistently trying to shake the thought, but he could feel Ashton's eyes on him. Which was kind of funny to think about when there were literally thousands of eyes on him, but Ashton's were burning a hole on his back that felt nothing like the others.

However, by the time they played their final note and took a bow, Ashton had vanished, and he stayed gone until Calum saw him on stage forty minutes later. And was gone again when they all (both the bands) made their way to a bar only a few blocks from the venue. He did reappear though once they had all settled in. Calum had managed to end up in a booth between a wall and Michael, who had Rachael on his other side. Angel and Luke across from them looked far more comfortable with a nice gap between them. Both Lesedi and Ashton seemed to notice how uncomfortably close the others were and pulled a small round table toward the end of the booth and perched themselves there.

Calum was miffed that Ashton seemed to have found the furthest seat from him, but to be fair if the older one (yes, the older one, he was older than Calum which was for some reason part of the allure) had sat where Michael was Calum might not have been able to form smart sentences. Not that the conversation was difficult to follow at the moment, because they'd all seemed to notice that two people were missing from their number.

"They're at the bar together," Luke told them, being the tallest he simply straightened up and looked straight over Rachael's head and by extension the booth to see them there. The others could see from where they were, either pushing up and looking over or looking around the booth. Calum noted that Ashton could see but didn't seem bothered sipping from his drink absentmindedly. Michael and Calum however, were trapped in the corner of the booth and were having to take the others word for it.

"How close together are they? What's the vibe?" Calum asked, looking over his shoulder pointlessly.

No one really offered an answer, so Michael pushed himself up (his arse half on Calum, half on the table) and turned around to look at the pair, he wasn't standing long when Rachael pulled him down by his jacket sleeve.

"They'll see you!" she scolded.

"What's going on?" Calum asked him.

"They're just talking, I mean close-talking but, just talking,"

"Ooh, looks like they might hook up," Rachael giggled.

"He'll be after all of you," Michael said sipping at his glass, Rachael, Lesedi and Angel all started laughing amongst themselves, but Calum saw the look Michael and Luke shared and knew there was an unspoken rule that the boys weren't supposed to hook up with any of them.

"Well, he's really only got a shot with Nia. I mean Rachael's a lesbian, Lesedi doesn't go anywhere near guys like that, I have a total girl preference and despite how horny he might be I doubt he's self-aware enough to admit he'd love to bone Calum," Angel listed off earning chuckles from the rest of Angel and Trinkets as she went.

Calum's protest came almost involuntarily, "Like I'd ever!"

This earned him a laugh from everyone this time, and a pat on the shoulder from Michael, "It's okay man, we know,"

"You sound really homophobic right now Calum, I'm disappointed," Lesedi said with a pretend disappointed sigh.

"I'm gay!" Calum whined.

"You're too easy to rile up," they laughed, the others joining in as Calum's cheeks began to redden.

"You guys never cut me a break," he sighed, drinking the dregs from his glass to avoid having to see the boys responses to his torment.

Angel was stretching up, "Oh shit she's coming back," she pulled her self back down into the seat quickly. Luke seemed to look to confirm what she'd said before getting up and letting Nia into the booth. He didn't sit back down though; maybe he'd asked if anyone wanted a drink? Calum wasn't sure; because Michael had started telling a story about hiding from his dogs. He couldn't tell if it was a skilful way of pretending they hadn't been watching Nia and Angus or if everything reminded Michael of his dogs.


	5. 0.3

**_[29th of October - London]_ **

They'd had two days break between the Brixton and London shows, there had also been a cold change in the air which had made the sightseeing they'd wanted to do a lot more difficult. Mainly because Calum couldn't handle the cold. Nia, of course, was wearing two layers less than everyone else and three less than Calum. 

They hadn't seen much of Tempted Timeless, who had, had people outside their hotel for the past two days. Angels and Trinkets, however, had been out and about, Calum was taken with the rest under duress. They hadn't seen the usual 'sights' because Calum had made them go into many bars and terrible stores on account of his being cold. 

Now though even after only six days on tour the girls were starting to annoy him. So he'd found his way up into the stands and sat on the hard floor, hidden between rows he'd written a few verses but had abandoned them in favour of a sketch. 

It was Rachael from memory, so it wasn't exactly right but the focus was more on accurately portraying her tight tendrils of curly hair rather than her facial features. So focused on it though that he wasn't paying attention to the sound of approaching footsteps. He did, however, hear the panting above him once the person drew close enough. He whipped his head up and saw a pink and sweaty Ashton standing above him. He was dressed just like Calum, a hoodie (both their own merch), leggings and gym shorts over them as well as a pair of sneakers. 

"You do realise there are about, I don't know, a thousand actual chairs you could be sitting on?" Ashton asked, pushing one of the flip chairs down and taking a seat in front of Calum. 

"I was sitting down here so no one could see me," he told him matter-of-factly. 

"Now who could you be needing to hide from?" Ashton wondered his tone teasing but his look serious enough that Calum knew he was genuinely asking. 

"Not hiding, just staying out of sight in an attempt not to be seen," Calum shrugged, trying to seem interested in his drawing still.

Ashton chuckled, "I think you might have just defined hiding,"

"I just wanted to be alone for a little bit and I didn't think anyone would come looking through the rows," he admitted, wondering where this conversation might be going. He hadn't spoken a real word to Ashton in the week or so they'd been on tour and now he was chatting away as if they were friendly.

"Well, I only saw you because I was running the stairs so you shouldn't have to worry about anyone else finding you,"

"Yeah, but what if someone comes to see why you're sitting all the way up here talking to yourself?" the longer the conversation went on the bolder Calum felt, Ashton wasn't as aloof as he made out to be, he was just as normal as Michael and Luke. 

Ashton thought for a moment before shifting himself off the seat onto the floor facing the other, "there, problem solved,"

Calum rolled his eyes having no other retort. 

"So is this Rachael? Are you two dating?" 

"Yeah it is and no, I'm gay," Calum couldn't help but blush at the admission 

"Oh I know, you practically shouted it at that bar a few nights ago. Just wanted to see if you took bait as easily as they said you do,"

"Well I didn't shout it this time so they were wrong," Calum said now back working on his drawing, needlessly thickening lines. 

"I know but you also said you blush at anything which seems to be true," 

This also made Calum blush, which was incredibly frustrating, "I'm gonna have to work on that or interviews are going to be really embarrassing," 

"I think it's endearing," 

"I doubt everyone else will see it that way," Calum let his eyes roll again. 

"You didn't blush that time," 

"That's cause I can't take you seriously, you're giving me a hard time on purpose," 

"I guess that's fair," he paused for a moment before continuing on another tangent, "Have you guys had your first proper interview yet?"

"Angel has, right after your tour manager contacted us, but the rest of us haven't-" he interupted himself "actually I did one over the phone for Alt Press once. It was mostly just questions about being the newest member and the only guy,"

"Yeah solo interviews are sort of strange, It'll be better as you go along," 

"Should I get a notebook, 'Advice from Ashton Irwin through the ages', become your memoirist?"

"Yes, I have a lot of advice to give you young man," 

"Oh? And that is?" he let his eyebrows raise and held his hand out as if he were ready to write with an invisible pencil. 

"Never wear green in your dressing room, never wear blue on stage, never accept flowers before a show, no whistling in the venue. You don't look like you're writing this down," Ashton said as Calum forgot his mimed pencil. 

"Those are all just theatre kid superstitious," Calum laughed.

"You want great advice you gotta give me something in return... a snack... a fabulous bouquet?" 

"After the show of course," 

"See you're learning"


	6. 0.4

**_[1st of November - Birmingham]_ **

"Rachael and I decided last night that we need to swap _Tonight_ off the setlist for _Dirty Boy_ , so you'll have some chill time, you might have to take a book on stage or something," Angel joked.

Calum rolled his eyes, "I'll take something on stage with an outrageous title, and then instead of singing back up I'll just do a live reading,"

"I feel like it'll add a much-needed seriousness to our group," she said nodding solemnly.

"Maybe we could have-" Calum went to make another obnoxious suggestion, but Luke interrupted him.

"Have either of you seen Angus?" he asked, his eyes searching the dressing room they'd hidden in as if he might be behind a potted plant or something else.

"Ah no sorry, if we do we'll tell him you're looking for him though," she told him, and then he had left, "All he ever does is run around after Angus, I swear."

"Do you think we should have told him we saw him leave with Nia?" Calum asked, looking guiltily over his shoulder at the open door.

"No. I think it's safest for the band if we plead ignorance on that one, they never said anything, but I think it's implied we weren't supposed to sleep with any of them," Angel reasoned.

Calum shrugged his shoulders slightly, "he just seems really nice, and always stressed I feel guilty,"

"Everyone's gotta do what's best for their own band Cal, and I can guarantee that if Nia becomes a problem, they'll do what's best for them and not for us,"

Calum hummed in agreement, but his mind was still elsewhere thinking Luke and Michael didn't seem the sort. When he came out of his thoughts she was talking about how quiet and aloof Ashton was, he wasn't sure what she'd said to get on this tangent, but Calum wanted to chuckle. 

"He was talking to me a few days ago; he got pretty chatty,"

"Chatty chatty or flirty chatty?"

"It felt kind of flirty, to be honest, but I don't know, you know me I'm usually pretty dense about this stuff,"

"Well if you end up sleeping with him, I don't wanna know anything about it,"

Calum blanched, "I'm not gonna sleep with him, Jesus,"

"Hmm, we'll see it's been a while, you might not hold out as long as you think,"

"I'm not some gross straight guy, I think I can keep it in my pants if I want," Calum huffed crossing his arms.

Angel rolled her eyes, but Calum watched them snap back to something behind his shoulder and then she stood, "I gotta go tell the others about the setlist change,"

Calum turned to watch her leave and saw Ashton about fifteen feet away headed straight for the open door. He held back a large sigh; there's no way he was going to be able to have a non-blush filled conversation with Ashton after what Angel had just said.   
  
"Thought you might have been hiding somewhere again," Ashton declared, his eyes swept the room as he entered, but they centred in on Calum as he moved to join him on the floor. "You have a real thing about avoiding perfectly good chairs, don't you?"

"I was just talking to Angel about the setlist; I wasn't hiding! And it's comfy down here," Calum defended leaning back against the couch leg rest to express his comfort. 

"So what's the big setlist decision then?" Ashton asked, leaning back on his hands. 

"Oh, not really a decision, Angel just said she and Rachael wanted to swap out _Tonight_ for _Dirty Boy,_ that's all," Calum said with a shrug reaching for his can of Sunkist, his brain had recalled the rest of the earlier conversation, so eye contact seemed almost entirely impossible at this point. 

Ashton sighed lightly, "not a lot of bass in that song if I remember correctly," 

"None, actually," Calum admitted his eyes finally having nowhere else to wander, landed on Ashton's, which were currently closed as he leant back looking almost ready to fall asleep. 

"There are only two or three songs on the setlist that are really any sort of challenge for a bass player if you don't mind me saying, quite a few good opportunities for drums though, suppose that can tend to happen," Ashton was talking thoughtfully seemingly not ready for a response as he continued, "I mean you know, when a band goes from having to get by with a keyboard/ bass player and then they get a bass player they don't know what to do with them," 

Calum nodded but realised Ashton's eyes were still closed, "I don't mind, I just like getting to play honestly, it's gonna be great getting to see around Europe a bit as well," he admitted.

This was when Ashton decided to crack an eye open before, closing it again, leaving Calum confused as to the purpose, "Angus would never let that fly, you two a very different obviously," 

"I'll take that as a compliment," 

"As it was intended," then they were both quiet for a moment, the silence was almost awkward before Ashton spoke again, "you know I think you're a good bass player right?"

"Uh no, I didn't, but it's nice to hear," Calum tried to play coy, but a small smirk found it's way onto his face. He couldn't help it, Ashton had sucked him in. Calum was sure Ashton was playing the old 'If I'm not interested they'll want me more' play and it was working. The fact that he hadn't wanted anything to do with Calum at the start, and that he wasn't buddying up with the others had Cal wanting his approval that much more. Just because he knew this didn't mean he'd be able to make clear-headed decisions though. 

"Much as I love the drums, I have to admit people who play the guitar have better fingers," Ashton said his face casual, but his tone and where he chose to place emphasis had Calum taking a much less platonic meaning from the words. 

"Well, that being said, when someone knows how to bang, they know how to bang. Which is just as important as good fingers, better even if they hit it just right," 

"'It' being?"

"The beat of course," 

Ashton smirked and went to quip back but was interrupted by Lesedi calling out to him, "Cal? Calum! We're sound checking in two minutes; you better appear in less than that," 

Instead of finishing his thought, Ashton just gave him a wink, and Calum got up and left feeling the other's eyes on his back, so he definitely hadn't imagined the flirting the other day? What he was going to do about it was another issue altogether and for another time.


	7. 0.5

**_[2nd of November - Sheffield]_ **

Calum thankfully hadn't spoken to Ashton since yesterday afternoon. They'd watched one another's soundchecks, and then Ashton had disappeared, Calum didn't know where he vanished too, especially when almost everyone else was together but he was glad he hadn't seen him. He'd flirted his way into a situation he didn't know what to do with anymore. 

He had a tendency to do that; normally, it was a lack of interest in acting on it then that he wasn't allowed to. But he knew Angel was right, at the end of the day everyone looked out for them and theirs. 

So he'd found what was essentially a cupboard that the photographers had been allowed to store their crap in and hunkered down with his laptop and some snacks. He knew he couldn't avoid Ashton forever but hopefully if they hung out with a whole bunch of other people a few times the tension would fizzle out. 

Surely Calum could keep things platonic for what? 1-2-3....17 more days? That's only like two and a bit weeks. He could get good at hiding; maybe he'd start following the others around, surely Rachael or Lesedi could protect him.

Nia was way too preoccupied with Angus to be of any help, to be fair they hadn't spoken in days, or when he thought about seen each other for that matter. None of them had said anything about it but they'd all shared shady looks when she'd leave with flimsy excuses. Calum couldn't get away with what she could; if he were a founding member of the band, maybe things would be different.

Calum's head was starting to throb, his anxiety playing the earlier thoughts through his minds over and over. The files he was currently trying to upload and emails he needed to reply to becoming seemingly unimportant by comparison. He groaned loudly realising he'd copied the wrong email address and file to an email. He was too distracted for this. He let his mind wondered again, deciding he wasn't going to get anything done anyway.

It wasn't long before even his daydreams were interrupted, as someone knocked at the door. Before he could ask who was there, the door was on its way open, and Ashton was coming through it.

"Oh hey I was looking for one of the photographers, but I found you instead, which is just as good," Ashton smiled softly, his demeanour chipper.

"I don't know if I'll be able to help with whatever it is, but I'll try," Calum said as positively as he could muster. 

"Oh no, I don't need you for that it's just poster crap, I just haven't seen you since we got here," Ashton said waving his hand somewhat dismissively as he pulled the door closed behind him.

"So what did you want done with the posters?" Calum asked as casually as he could, pretending to go back to his paperwork on his laptop. 

"Just needed to give her some dates and some images for the North American opening act, just technical shit," 

"I guess that's only like 3-4 weeks away, exciting, have you met them yet?" he asked, trying as he might to keep the conversation dull and innuendo free. 

"I think I've met the lead singer before, a friend of a friend, but otherwise pretty much the same deal as with you guys. Only one girl in the group for Angus to chase after though, so not exactly the same," 

"He'll be disappointed, I'm sure," Calum chuckled lightly. 

Ashton moved and sat down beside him, "What's got you so distracted?"

"Just trying to upload paperwork so at the end of all this I actually get paid, some of us got rent to make," 

"Hmmm imagine that," Ashton chuckled, "do you have a place in LA?"

"The girls, Lesedi and I are in the process of moving up, we have to get our shit together so we can record this bloody album," 

"What songs are going to be on it?" Calum could feel Ashton moving into his personal space.

"Mostly new stuff, Angel and Rachael are still writing," Calum explained.

"Do you have any of it on your computer? Can I listen to it?" Ashton asked, leaning across Calum to get a better view of the laptop screen, his large palm firmly splayed across the tan boy's thigh.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. FUCK.

"Uh no, the other's have most of it on their computer, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to show you, you know get some feedback." 

"Mmmhmm, well I'm mostly interested in what you're doing whether that be now or later," Ashton said, the invitation clear in his tone. 

Heat rose up Calum's neck to the tips of his ears, "I think maybe you should worry about yourself," Calum closed his laptop and gently pried Ashton's fingers from his leg. He could feel the heat radiating off his leg and sincerely hoped Ashton couldn't or see the tightening in his pants at just the thought. If he could, Calum had a feeling he wouldn't be able to shake him for the next two and a half weeks. 

"I should go find the girls and Lesedi. I'll see you later," he said, standing and leaving as calmly and coolly as he could. 

He pulled the door closed behind him and let out a loud sigh. That was awkward and weird and really hard to say no to.


	8. 0.6

**_[4th of November - Brussels]_ **

Calum had been skittish and looking over his shoulder the past few days; he was so worried about running into Ashton alone. He was sure he wouldn't be able to help himself. He liked to think he was stronger willed than that; he knew himself better than that, though. 

So when someone called out to him as was disappearing into the stands, he nearly had a heart attack.

He froze, and the voice spoke again, "Cal! Wait up a sec I need to ask you something," he realised it was Luke, thank god. 

"Oh yeah, sorry Luke I didn't hear you the first time," he turned to face the other and saw he had a smile on his face and held back a sigh of relief. 

"That's all good man, we'll keep heading up into the stands, I need to ask you a favour, and there's no point being anywhere we might be interrupted," Luke pointed past him, and Calum simply nodded as the taller man walked past him leading them up until they were ten or so rows from the back of the theatre. 

They sat, and Luke turned to him immediately, "So I hate to ask on such short notice, but I was wondering if you'd play bass for us tonight? I didn't wanna put you on the spot in front of your band is all," 

"Uh... um yeah, I think I remember all the bass pieces from the setlist, I'll need to practice a bit though and talk to the others. But yeah, yeah I can do this," Calum said more to himself than anyone else. 

"Oh, thank you so much, Angus is sick and if we cancelled everyone would be devastated," 

"Oh no, I totally get it. I'm actually really flattered you asked," Cal said a blush coming onto his cheeks.

"You're a good bass player that speaks for itself; we're sound-checking in two hours. I'll see you there. I gotta let the others know you can cover," Luke was up and gone, jogging down the stairs and off behind the stage.

Calum genuinely could not believe his luck; he was getting to play with one of his favourite bands of all time. He was buzzing with excitement (which he was still trying to conceal) as he tried to find the other members of the group. He looked in the weird above stage viewing area, the photography room, two different dressing rooms and a room that just had an old broken piano and a bunch of stacked chairs. 

Magically, however, when he walked across the stage again ready to give up, he saw them sitting and chatting in the front row of chairs.

"I've been looking for you guys everywhere," he called climbing down off the stage and moving toward them, thanking god the barricade wasn't up yet. 

"We were down the street getting something to eat, what did you want us for?" Angel asked.

"Y'all never invite me, you suck. But I was coming to check it was okay with you all if I played bass for Tempted Timeless tonight?"

"What, where's Angus?" Nia asked, almost pushing herself up out of her chair. 

"Luke said he's not well, and they didn't want to cancel if they didn't absolutely have to," 

"I'm jealous, why couldn't Ashton have gotten sick?" Rachael whined.

"Well seeing as we cut Tonight, I should be able to manage keyboard and bass, so you don't have to worry about trying to play for two sets. Wow though, this is honestly so exciting for you though ugh!" Lesedi groaned, an excited grin quickly replacing the frown on their face. 

"Do you know what you're playing?" 

"I'm assuming it's the same setlist they've been playing but I need to go over it with Luke,"

"Yeah, probably a good idea," Nia told him with an eye roll before going back to looking at her phone.

Calum chose to ignore the comment, "I guess I should go tell him you gave me your blessing then," he gave an awkward wave and left to find Luke. 

He and Luke went through the setlist, and then he answered Calum's questions about lots of little insignificant things that he really didn't _need_ to know, but his nervousness made him ask anyway. He felt slightly better after they'd sound-checked and Calum had hung close to Michael who gave him queues and nods and when they got to the final song they'd gotten a good flow. 

Despite that, he was still absolutely buzzing with nerves minutes before they stepped on stage. And when they did finally step on stage, it really hit him, the roar of the crowd he'd heard from backstage of late was directed toward him. It wasn't necessarily for him, but it was _directed_ toward him. It was intense and elating, and he was awkwardly waving his hand. The faces looking up at him from the barrier were smiling. Part of him had been so worried no one would want to see him; his brain supplied an image of the entire left side of the stage completely empty.

After they'd played the first song Calum started to loosen up, having fun and Luke was making an effort to engage with him, but once Calum seemed comfortable he started to interact with the audience. Calum could see the girls reaching their hands out to him, but he felt it would seem obnoxious to reach back, redness climbed his cheeks at the thought of being turned down for a high five. So he instinctively turned toward 'Rachael' which was part of his regular on-stage routine, but of course, Ashton was behind the kit instead. 

He was already covered in a thin layer of sweat, his hair clumping together on his forehead but quickly being disturbed as he flicked his head up. He caught Calum's eye, and he could tell immediately Ashton was different like this his eyes darker, more intense and immensely more focused. 

He gave an upward nod and what he could manage of a smirk. He had Calum like putty in his hands, and he knew it. The fact that his muscles flexed and tightened with each hard strike of the kit didn't help either. After all, he was a man like any other, keeping the drool to a minimum was key though. He wanted to play the game too, he angled himself with his right hand in toward the drum kit, his bicep and (cute) bum visible to Ashton but still able to play to the audience. He let himself become immersed in the song, finding his feet and bopping along more freely. Maybe he moved his hips and ass a little more than he needed to, he even did a well-timed little spin as he played the last note of a song. 

They couldn't help themselves after that, interacting whenever possible, not that people seemed to notice because Luke was compensating for Angus' disappearance by holding hands with people, catching flowers, teddies, etc. and throwing picks like they were pennies. 

When it was all over Ashton was drenched with sweat, and the other three had a layer on themselves, high fives were being passed around but Calum was politely trying to get out of there. His cock was trying to free itself from his jeans, and he really didn't want to explain why performing gave him a hard-on. He told the others he had to make a phone call and made for the room with the piano and chairs. He could feel eyes on his back, and he quickened his pace, as he went to pull the door closed behind him a large hand reached around the door and pulled it open again. Before Calum could make a sarcastic comment, Ashton had him up against the only free wall space and his lips on his neck. Cal's mouth dropped open and a gasp tumbled out as he fought the urge to melt in Ashton's arms.

Ashton kissed and sucked his way up his neck to his ear, "I thought you weren't interested in doing _anything_ with me," 

"I was trying to behave myself" he groaned, letting his chin rise up so Ashton could have access to more of his neck. Ashton reattached his lips, kissing feverishly toward's his lips. 

"If you keep misbehaving we'll be getting somewhere here," Ashton chuckled, before connecting their lips. Calum was barely paying attention to what had been said as he felt one of the other's hands rubbing his cock through his trousers and the other gently gripping his neck. 

He realised he should probably be doing something with his own hands but instead they were uselessly resting on Ashton's waist, gripping at his damp T-shirt. They had to move though when Ashton pulled back from his lips and focused his efforts on getting Calum's pants undone. 

It was hard to tell who's hands were who's and where and what they were doing in the darkness, but it made the heavy breathing and pants even more apparent. They were loud now as Calum's breath grew shallow in his nervousness. A clammy hand found its way around his cock then the sound of spit and another much moister hand replaced it working up and down his cock, teetering between the perfect rhythm and 'fuck please just a little more'. Moans kept falling from his mouth as his mind fogged, focusing only on letting his hands run over Ashton's back, letting himself realise that this actually was Ashton Irwin.

"Fuck, put my cock in your mouth," He groaned out, a breathy gasp following straight after.

Ashton let out a low, rough chuckle his hand coming up to stroke the side of Calum's face gently. Before sinking to his knees and placing the head of Calum's cock in his mouth, giving it a few more lazy strokes before he came in his mouth. 

Ashton swallowed and stood up, "That's because I didn't wanna make a mess not because you asked nicely, next time ask nicely," he leaned in and kissed Calum, Calum let himself melt into Ashton again, this time letting his own hands work their way toward his trousers. 

"Ashton! Ashton? Where are you? We're gonna find Calum and take him out for a drink, Ashton!" Luke called, the boys separated in shock.

"He didn't answer his phone either; maybe he went back to Calum and the others' hotel?" Michael thought aloud. 

Calum felt he had to hold his breath; their voices were so close they had to be just on the other side of the door. 

"Whatever, he'll either reply to our text message, or we'll just go out without him," Luke said. 

Then there was silence for a long moment before Ashton whispered, "we need to get back to the hotel before them." 


	9. 0.7

**_[5th of November - Amsterdam]_ **

Calum could have sworn the tension between him and Ashton was palpable, to the point he imagined people walking between them and flailing their arms as if there was large spiderweb there. However, apparently not, no one seemed weird or uncomfortable around them, but part of him remained paranoid nonetheless.

So it was hard to calm his mind as they sat front row watching Angel and Trinkets soundcheck. It was also a bizarre feeling seeing his band playing without him. He'd been far too overwhelmed the night before to take in the weirdness. Luke had found him early and told him that Angus was still under the weather, he was in Brussels recovering, some sort of stomach bug apparently. Calum didn't mind; it was a pretty wild experience, and he was happy to take every opportunity. 

That being said, the Ashton thing was still making him nervous, he hadn't mentioned what had happened the night before, and Calum had been too afraid someone would overhear them to bring it up himself. He did notice an improvement in Ashton's mood though, which was strange considering he hadn't actually gotten any yet. He was under the impression Ashton thought it was going to be open slather from now on. He couldn't really say what was going to happen, he really wanted not to be _that_ guy, but there was something about him that was just intoxicating. Calum just wanted to be around him and have his attention. He already knew that was going to cause him more trouble than it was probably worth. 

He tucked his legs up underneath himself, suddenly becoming very aware that Ashton was right next to him.

The shift seemed to remind him that Calum was there, "So, who wrote this?" he asked quietly. 

"Um," Calum faltered for a moment, "Angel and Nia, I think," 

"Do they normally do a lot of the writing?" Ashton continued conversationally. 

"Yeah, them or Lesedi and Rachael, seems to be the way they pair up," Calum shrugged. 

"So what have you written for the new album? You never told me the other day," trust Ashton to be able to ask him questions that made him feel like he cared, he was smooth. 

Calum blushed, "You had ulterior motives when you asked last time, and well," his cheeks flushed again, "I haven't written anything that's going on the album," he admitted meekly. 

"What's to say I don't have ulterior motives still?" Ashton asked, throwing a small smirk toward Calum, before looking back toward the stage, " not much of a writer then?" Ashton continued before Calum could reply. 

"No, I've got stuff written it's just not the sound we're going for, for the album," 

"Hmmm, what is it? Death metal? Slam poetry? Either way, you'll have to show it to me sometime, maybe today even?"

"Sounds like an excuse to get me alone," Calum couldn't stop himself from blushing yet again. 

"You shouldn't be so suspicious," Ashton chuckled. 

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours,"

Ashton ignored the innuendo, only giving a small smile as recognition, "we've only written a few songs, I'm pretty happy with what we've got though," 

"Did you write on everything you've got?" 

"Pretty much, if I didn't write it, Mike and/or Luke brought it to me, and I helped polish or tweak it,"

"What about Angus?" Calum asked without thinking that his tone might seem accusatory. 

Ashton didn't seem to notice though, "he doesn't really write much anymore, not since we were like 16," 

Calum thought for a moment, Luke was 23 and Michael was 24, Angus was 25, and Ashton was 26 that's a pretty broad time frame, "You're all different ages, that's four different years,"

"Okay, since _I_ was 16, so like ten years ago," 

"Ten years without writing? Crazy," 

"You'd have to have guessed it'd be close to that or are you terrible at math?"

"I just forgot you're that much older than me," Calum chuckled, he hadn't, he couldn't, he found Ashton being older than him insanely hot. 

"You're... you're not 16 are you?" Ashton asked, his tone, mostly joking. 

"I'm 21, you're fine," They'd had most of this conversation with their eyes glued to the stage and the tension was gradually growing, "but.. when you were 21, I was 16," Calum wondered if this would be when Ashton drew the line, realising he was 5 years older than him. 

"I don't know how I feel about that," That wasn't an 'oh god' so he'd take it as a win. 

"I know exactly how I feel about it,"


	10. 0.8

**_[6th of November - Hamburg]_ **

"Holy fuck, just like that!" Calum whimpered, slapping a hand over his mouth at the last minute.

Ashton sunk deeper, taking the last of Calum's cock into his mouth before coming back up and swirling his tongue around the head like a fucking porn star. He started working the base with one hand and gently massaging his balls with the other. 

Calum let his fingers thread into Ashton's hair, his head lolling back and his eyes falling closed. He felt the others hand leave his balls and place it on the back of his thigh as he increased his pace. Ashton sucked cock like it was his favourite hobby, Calum couldn't figure out if he was the luckiest man alive or the stupidest but either way he was too blissed out to think about it. 

Somehow he'd ended up back in the same position he swore he'd never be in, in the first place. Ashton was hot, and older, and super talented it was easy to get drawn to him. That was the only excuse he could really come up with while Ashton's mouth was around him.

A knock as if someone had bumped the thin wall with their shoulder and footsteps stopped Ashton's rhythm. His jaw slackening slightly, but not pulling off. Calum's head snapped up, and he saw Ashton eyeing him as they waited for another sound, there was none, so Ashton started moving again.

Calum let out a soft moan at the sudden pace change, "we shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get my band in so much trouble if we get caught," he let out in between breathy gasps. 

Ashton seemed to ignore him creating a firmer seal on his cock, bobbing quickly. The insides of his cheeks creating an exquisite pillowy sensation against him and his mouth became maddeningly moist as Calum started to meet him halfway with small hip movements, unable to help himself.

"Holy shi- I'm coming, fuck, fuck," Calum hunched over slightly as he came down the back of Ashton's throat, his legs weakening slightly, unable to believe he felt this blissed out from a blowjob. 

Ashton pulled off and swallowed, wiping his mouth with the tips of his fingers, "Why do you worry so much? Everyone else knows Nia and Angus are up to _something_ , at least we're trying to keep this on the down-low. And you've been killing it on the bass, you deserve a reward for all your hard work," Ashton gave him a playful eyebrow quirk before standing up, brushing his knees needlessly. 

He tucked Calum's now flaccid cock back in his underwear and zipped his pants up carefully. His hands lingering on the top of them before leaning up and pecking his lips, Calum pressed into him, letting his mouth come open and tasting his own bitterness on Ashton's tongue. He reached a hand down between them trying to work the other's pants undone, but Ashton pulled back, placing a hand on Calum's to stop him. 

"I get so turned on watching you play, I want you to suck my cock after the show," Ashton smirked, "Okay, let's sneak out of here," He walked the short distance to the door and turned back to Calum, "You wait here for a while, then come out when the coast is clear," he gave the other's arse a small squeeze before slipping out and closing the door quickly behind him. 

His nerves were heightened again, what if they got caught? What would Michael and Luke think of him? And his own band? He'd really be fucking them over. Ashton and he were just in the same orbit at the moment, surely he could last another two weeks without getting caught. Then he'd probably never see Ashton again. They'd record their first album and go out on a small tour of their own, surely that wouldn't be fucked up if they got caught? Right?

He let out a sigh, he really needed to get better at sticking to his decisions. 

Again, he heard footsteps outside. The people were mid-conversation but for some reason stopped in the hall, they were close enough to the door that he knew he couldn't slip past them. They were however far enough away that Calum had to move closer to hear them speak. 

The first person spoke, "He said he'll be back whenever he feels better, he doesn't know when that'll be though," It was Nia, either that or one of the crew had her exact voice and bored tone. 

"Hmmm, I guess you can't really make yourself get better can you?" That one was Angel.

"He must be pretty sick though, I've only gotten like two texts from him,"

They must have been talking about Angus, he wondered if Nia had actually told Angel they were hooking up? Surely not, she would have told him. Then again maybe they weren't as close as he thought. 

"Cal seems like he's having a good time, I'm so jealous but it's good for him. We have to write more stuff with bass so he has something to play. I feel bad, we're just not used to having a full-time bass player," 

There was a sigh, "It's been nearly a year, clearly I was right, we don't _need_ a bass player," 

"Ugh Nia, it's so obvious you don't like him, he can tell and we do need him, he's a member of our band," 

"I'd rather split a paycheck four ways than five," 

"Nia! Someone's going to hear you. He's not some sort of threat okay? Stop being a bitch and chill out, he's our friend," 

"Whatever he's just using us as a means to an end," 

"I'm not having this argument again, I'll see you at soundcheck," and then he heard retreating footsteps. 

"I'll see you at soundcheck," Nia mocked before he heard her footsteps disappear too. 

That conversation took an abrupted turn. It wasn't anything new, Calum thought with an eye-roll. Nia was always passive-aggressive toward him and Angel was always slightly apologetic, so it made sense. He didn't hear anymore movement and chanced a look into the hall, no one. He took the opportunity to leave and made himself busy for the rest of the afternoon, feeling dirty about keeping secrets and overhearing private conversations. 


	11. 0.9

**_[8th of November - Copenhagen]_ **

Calum was back sound-checking with his band for the first time in what felt like forever; in reality, it had only been four days. And yet it was still a strange change of pace, but he had to admit he was somewhat grateful, the tension just built far too quickly between Ashton and him when they were on the same stage. That aside though it was kind of boring to go back to playing their guitar-heavy songs when he'd gotten used to playing such bass-heavy stuff. 

He autopiloted through their soundcheck, half falling asleep as it was. Ashton had come by his hotel the night before at some ungodly hour and, well, Calum hadn't been able to get to sleep until late. Speaking of Ashton, he was out in the chairs on his phone but watching, he and Calum had made it a habit of theirs to watch his band soundcheck together. Not that Calum had, had much choice, Ashton had just followed him there, it seemed that even though it had only been three soundchecks, Ashton was already stuck in his ways. It kind of embarrassed him to be watched in such broad daylight, but he knew telling the older man to go away wasn't going to achieve anything. 

Once they'd finished Calum asked Rachael to stay and watch Tempted Timeless' soundcheck with him, she agreed, and they sat cross-legged in the pit chattering away about nothing in particular as the other band sound checked. Angus was back on the Bass, and he looked a little haggard but not seriously unwell. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face was sallow and a bit sunken in. He really didn't look that bad if you didn't know he'd been away sick you'd say he looked off and leave it at that. Calum and Rachael, however, were curious, after all, he'd missed three shows. He played lazily, but unless you knew anything about Bass you wouldn't be able to tell, and Calum guessed he couldn't really say much, that was pretty much how he'd played in his band's soundcheck. 

Before soundcheck was over, Calum excused himself and disappeared into a storeroom backstage. It was only ten minutes later that Ashton with a thin sheen of sweat let himself in and slotted a hand in between the short strands at the nape of his neck. 

"Like this shirt, s'nice," he told him, the other hand going down to the hem and playing with it gently. 

Calum like a desperately obsessed teenager told him, "You can have it if you want," he fought off the blush that wanted to break across his cheeks, and instead tried to act coolly indifferent.

Ashton chuckled, "mmm, maybe I'll take you up on it," leaning in to connect their lips. 

The door handle jiggled, and they both practically jumped back nearly knocking the shelving behind them, the turning stopped, and the door remained closed, but they both held their breath, afraid the door would come open at any moment. 

It didn't though, and they heard Luke's voice call out, "Angus, there you are! You disappeared right after soundcheck. Thought you might end up wandering off somewhere again," 

There was a long pause, and Calum imagined one of them must have been walking toward the other, or maybe Luke was following him down the hall. Neither Ashton nor he had moved an inch, still waiting with bated breath for them to move away from the door. 

"Oh fuck off Luke, just come out and say you think I'm gonna flake again," Angus almost shouted, Calum's eyes grew wide, and he moved his ear closer to the door, forgetting Ashton could see him. 

"Can you be quiet, people might hear you," Luke said in a loud whisper, "and flake isn't the word I'd use to describe a bender that caused a whole bunch of people to waste their valuable time looking for you," Calum could hear the anger and venom behind Luke's words and couldn't help but flinch, he could never have imagined the older man talking like that. 

"I didn't ask anyone to do that," 

"This isn't just about _you_ , you self centred twat, there are so many people who are depending on working on this tour, the stagies, the venue staff, sound, lighting everyone! Not everything is about you and whatever you're going through, okay? This isn't the first time you've pulled this shit, either get help or get it together, my sympathy has completely run out," Luke's voice was rising in volume and severity, Calum reflexively pulled away from the door, his eyes darting quickly to Ashton who was watching him reserved concern showing on his face. 

Angus scoffed, "As if it matters you had that little Asian fuck on bass straight away,"

"You're so lucky that Calum was nice enough to cover, a shitload of people would have been so angry with us if we'd cancelled, so don't talk about him like that. And you watch yourself around the others, they don't need to know about this," Luke said firmly. 

"I'm sick of you telling me what to do-"

"I don't care; this isn't all going to go to shit because of you, come on, you can sit in the dressing room until we go on,"

Then footsteps could be heard receding, and a muffled yell of 'I told you not to tell me what to do'. 

Calum's heart was beating fast in his chest, the feeling that Luke was going to reef the door open and turn on him for eavesdropping. He let out a shaky breath and turned to face Ashton again, "I feel like I was _not_ supposed to hear that," 

"He's been like this for years now, always disappears, he's not even the bass player on albums, it's a friend of ours because he always seems to be 'unavailable' when we're writing and recording," Ashton told him, using air quotes. 

"Shouldn't you have gotten rid of him by now?" Calum asked, his brow furrowing. 

Ashton stepped forward placing his hands on the other's hips, "When you've known someone for nearly 17 years it gets kind of hard to stop giving them second chances and trying to see the best in them. Michael and I try to ignore it as much as we can but, Luke still believes he'll turn it around," 

Calum fought the urge to press himself into Ashton and instead placed his hands gently on his chest, "Doesn't sound like he believes in him much anymore," he said quietly. 

"Everyone has their limits I guess," he shrugged, letting his arms snake around his waist. 

"I don't really wanna do anything right now," Calum said quietly, not making eye contact with Ashton, "I feel weirded out by this, I don't know why,"

"That's all good," he let his hands loosen and drop to give a little squeeze to his arse before letting go entirely, "let's go get something to eat."


	12. 1.0

**_9th of November - Oslo]_ **

"Yeah, origami hearts, they've all sorts of lovely things written in them and then when they collect them at the shows they give a $1 or a £1 or a €1, or you know whatever the currency donation to a local women's organisation. So then the hearts get given to the band members, and they open them and read them in videos. One of the more popular fans on twitter was sort of spitballing about it and other ways they could make a difference. So they got in and they did it, " Rachael was explaining the idea of fan projects to them animatedly, she'd been trying to explain where Michael's new guitar had come from but at the mention of fan projects and gifts Angel had gotten confused. 

"Which band was this again?" Angel asked absentmindedly playing with her shoelaces. 

"F.A.I.R.Y,"

"I always liked them and their name. I like that they never give away what the acronym stands for," Calum chuckled thinking about the many fake definitions they'd given in interviews over the years. 

"Aren't they playing a festival that we are in August?" Angel asked, her interest suddenly spiking. 

"Yeah Lollapalooza, different day than us though," Rachael confirmed. 

"We have a fair few festivals coming up next year actually, at least five. Will be good for when the album finally comes out," Angel thought aloud. 

"Maybe get us a few more listeners even before the tour gets planned," Calum added hopefully.

"So weird to think we'll be wrapped up here in ten days, just sort of got used to the routine," Rachael said thoughtfully. 

That only dawned on Calum as Rachael said it, it really only was ten days until the tour was over and they'd be back to their version of normal, well then again things wouldn't even be their version of normal. They were going to be recording an album and touring more, but he guessed if things went well that's how they'd stay, that would be the new normal.

"Do you know who's opening on the North America tour?" Calum asked curiously. 

"Rockknot, you know they toured with Car Keys and Doorjams," 

"Wow, they're like a completely different sound than us, wild," Calum said his eyebrows involuntarily raised. 

"They're definitely closer to Tempted Timeless' sound, so it makes sense," Angel shrugged, nodding needlessly. 

"Feels weird knowing there's gonna be people like taking our place," Rachael chuckled. 

"Well they've been touring for like ten years, so really we took someone's place, who took someone's place, who took someone's place, who-"

Angel cut him off, "We get it Calum!" she laughed before continuing, "Guess it just always feels special when it's you," 

"Hmmm, yeah I guess that's true, I think Nia's gonna learn that real hard, real soon," Rachael rolled her eyes as she spoke. 

"Oh yeah, her and Angus have been practically inseparable since he got back, I don't think she realises just how, uh, 'replaceable', she might be to a guy like that," Rachael said, her phrasing as delicate as possible. 

The three of them shared a knowing look. 

There was a part of Calum that desperately wanted to tell the girls about what Angus was really, _really_ like. He knew it wasn't common knowledge, so he kept his mouth shut, for Luke's sake and also not wanting to give any clue to his 'friendship' with Ashton either.

The girls changed the topic, moving back to the Rockknot conversation. Calum was quietly wondering if Ashton would make 'friends' with anyone in the new opening act. Did he make a friend in every opening act? Did it really matter in the end? He already knew where they stood with one another.

He was also having trouble envisioning what the next twelve months would be like. The girls were right; once you were in a routine, it was hard to imagine life working any other way. Even though two and half weeks ago he couldn't have imagined his life the way it was right now. The conclusion he came to being that trying to imagine the future was a fruitless endeavour; but when he did imagine it, Ashton was not there. 


	13. 1.1

**_[10th of November - Stockholm]_ **

They'd all made their way down to a bar somewhere between their two hotels. Well saying _all_ might be too generous, it was Rachael, Michael, Luke, Ashton and himself. Angel and Lesedi had said they'd been fiddling with a new song idea all day and apparently, if they didn't finish it they'd 'lose it'. Personally he could work on a song for six months before he felt he even remotely 'had it'. Nia was also off somewhere but like always he and Nia had no interest in what the other was up to. He did, however, hope Angus wasn't there, he may not have liked Nia, but Angus seemed like trouble.

The table they'd occupied were round and tall, the type you'd see on the edge of a club dance floor. The chairs were tall to match and thankfully had backs on them, the last thing he needed was to fall off a stool in front of everyone. They also had to sit very close to fit around the single table, it was the only one available, so they were cramped, but it didn't bother Ashton. He'd encourage them all to pull their chairs in close, so as not to 'be in the road of everyone walking past'. So they'd squashed in, Ashton on Calum's left, Rachael next to him and then Luke, with Michael on Calum's other side. He'd quietly thought Ashton had been full of shit when he'd told them all to pull in close to the table but realised why when he felt the large hand come down on his left knee. Long fingers wrapping around the inside as the thumb on the outside gently stroked back and forth.

"So where's everyone else tonight? Already over hanging out with us?" Luke asked chuckling and swirling the last of his scotch in its glass.

Rachael began to explain the others absences, admitting that she didn't know where Nia was. Calum was only half paying attention, trying to sip quietly, unassumingly at his drink as Ashton's fingers traced shapes on his inner thigh. Ashton's face remained unchanged, listening intently as Rachael made a joke about songwriting.

"So we've got a whole day off between shows, what's everyone going to do?" Calum asked after her anecdote.

"Napping," Luke said with a contented sigh and a grin.

"Gaming and Napping," Michael said nodding, a little smile on his face.

Rachael groaned, "I gotta apply for apartments,"

"Just relax I suppose," Ashton supplied casually, his hand, however, gave a squeeze to Calum's leg. "What about you, Cal?" Ashton continued.

"Something like that as well I guess, I was honestly asking so it'd give me an idea of something to do,"

"Well the worst thing is the way the travel's arranged, you'd be pushing your luck to go out and explore either city," Luke said thoughtfully.

Calum was a little touched that he seemed to be trying to think of something for him to do, " Yeah it tends to end up like that a bit, unfortunately," He said with a shrug.

"You can always come and play Overwatch with me," Michael offered sipping at a large slushie looking cocktail.

"You know what?" Luke said disregarding Michael's comment, "we have almost the whole day on..." he trailed off thinking for a moment, "on the fourteenth, it'll be in Paris, I'll take you to do something if you want?"

"That-"

Ashton cut Calum off, "I was actually going to take Cal to that Cafe we normally go to, I've told him about it a few times, and you asked to go hey?" he turned to Calum asking for confirmation.

This was all news to Calum, but Ashton was often like that so he nodded, "you should come with us,"

"You never invite me anywhere," Rachael chimed in, clearly upset she'd not spoken for a few minutes.

Calum laughed, relieved that they'd moved on quickly, "I invited you to McDonald's this afternoon and you said no,"

Everyone laughed as Rachael rolled her eyes, "I'm going to get another round, everyone on the same?"

Everyone nodded, including Michael who was slurping up the remains of his cocktail as he quickly stood, "I'll give you a hand carrying them,"

"If everyone's breaking off for a sec I'm gonna go have a smoke," Calum told the others as Michael and Rachael left.

"Wait, you smoke?" Ashton asked incredulously.

"Mmhmm," he replied simply, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair, he pulled it on, checking his pocket for his packet and his lighter.

"What the hell, how didn't I notice?"

"Seriously, He goes through like two packets a week. I've heard Cal say at least five or six times that he was going out to get smokes," Luke sighed exasperatedly.

"Ashton doesn't pay attention to much," Calum laughed with a shrug, Luke grinned ready to laugh when his phone started to ring, he held up his hands as if at the mercy of the phone and answered the call with an apologetic look.

Calum finally turned to leave, and Ashton spoke again, "Hey wait up! We haven't finished here," Calum rolled his eyes and kept walking, he heard a stool scrape behind him, and Ashton jogged up beside him.

He chose not to comment on his new shadow and made his way out of the pub, pulling out a smoke and lighting it. He realised he was too close to the door to have a smoke and made his way down the small alleyway right beside the building. Surely this was far enough away he thought, finally taking a few quick draws, keen to get out of the cold.

Ashton was watching him closely, clearly still baffled, "What did you mean by 'Ashton doesn't pay attention to much',"

Calum stepped back, leaning against the wall of the alley, he wanted to groan at the question but stopped himself. "Nothing really, just thought the less attention Luke thinks you pay to me the better. You did just kick up a stink over not knowing that I smoke," it was a lie, but a good lie. What he'd actually meant was that Ashton paid no attention.

Calum took another draw and Ashton stepped into his personal space, completely ignoring his answer, "do you like the taste?"

"Yeah, you get used to it, surely you've smoked before?" he took another drag, making sure to blow the smoke away from Ashton.

Who shook his head, no, "how come I've never tasted it on you?"

"gum, mouthwash and deodorant," they were looking at each other, waiting to see who would close the distance first, both knowing they shouldn't, not here.

Calum flicked his cigarette away, and Ashton took a step closer, letting their lips meet. He had him pressed against the wall, Calum groaned into his mouth as he felt the coarse brick of the wall scratch at his back.

Ashton pulled back throwing a glance back toward the opening of the alley, "tastes gross, doesn't it?" Calum asked, referring to his mouth.

"Kind of like it," He replied before pressing their lips back together.

They continued like that, Ashton's hands bracketing Calum against the wall, the kiss was slow and explorative, he licked slowly into Calum's mouth more tasting than kissing. He might have found it gross if someone else had done it, but it was Ashton, and he let himself get lost in the moment despite the mounting number of scratches from the wall.

Only a few minutes more and the scratches became too much to ignore, and he seemed to realise they were making out against an alley wall, gently he pushed Ashton off of him.

The older man whined lowly, kissing at his neck, "let's do it right here,"

"No, everyone's waiting for us, let's go back," Calum moved out from under him and nodded toward the exit.

"What about the bathroom? Can we shag in there?" he asked following Calum as he led the way back.

Calum shook his head, "Where's Angus tonight?"

"We just finished making out, and you wanna talk about Angus?" Ashton groaned.

"I just thought if we changed the subject you'd drop it; we are not fucking in the bathroom you being out here with me is already weird enough,"

"What you think me being here is weird?"

"No, I think it looks weird. I don't hang out with Michael or Luke the way I hang out with you. People are going to catch on,"

"Yeah, I guess," Ashton agreed his tone non-committal, "Um, I think Angus is clubbing or something," he waited a moment before asking, "you're worried about Nia, aren't you? Don't worry even if she's with Angus Luke's keeping an eye on all of that," Calum sighed, and Ashton stepped closer gently rubbing his shoulders, "I'm sorry, let's go back in and have a nice night."   
  
  



	14. 1.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning for this chapter! Scroll to the bottom for the warning!*
> 
> It's not graphic, I would put the warning up here if it was

**_[12th of November - Cologne]_ **

"Do you want some of this?" Luke asked gesturing to his container of lemon chicken. 

Calum shook his head, bringing a hand to cover his mouth as he spoke, "no thank you, I'm still working on the garlic noodles you gave me,"

Luke had turned up a while ago with a small bag stacked full of containers, he'd started unpacking and told Calum to help himself, he'd bought plenty. Calum didn't know how to tell him he was vegetarian, so he'd taken the garlic noodles and pretended to be too full for anything else.

"So are you guys ready to start recording once tour is over?" Luke asked, using his chopsticks to shovel a rather large piece of chicken into his mouth.

"That's the plan but, I'm not sure if we've got enough songs. I think we were aiming for thirteen or so, I haven't really checked in lately to see where we're at," Calum told him shrugging before taking another mouthful.

"You sound like Michael, he never knows where we're at with the album, like he'll be actively involved in writing a song then we go to record it and he'll be like 'wait, what song is this?'" Luke chuckled, rolling his eyes.

Calum couldn't help the grin that split onto his face, it was rare to see Luke look so relaxed and seemingly enjoying himself. They kept chatting, Luke telling him crazy anecdotes from writing and recording their first few albums. How Ashton had said a song they were recording was shit, little did he know the writer was from a band they all admired and was standing in the room. He was pretty jealous of the stories, it seemed Tempted Timeless had, had the truly iconic and organic coming of age band experience everyone wanted. They were all friends in high school and started making music together, growing up together and having the best stories.

Angel & Trinkets pretty much had that story, the others had met as freshman in college and started a band, they played at the bar on campus fairly often and mostly covered songs, they started recording gigs and uploading them to YouTube. Calum had transferred college's in junior year and had seen a flyer on campus saying a band was looking for a bass player. He'd wanted to make friends and any excuse to play was a bonus so he went and saw them.

They were pretty popular on campus by then and YouTube as well, most of the people who auditioned were subpar and looking for attention. Calum had, had no idea what he was auditioning to be a part of, he'd merely thought that they were picky people not that they already had a huge following and were looking for someone who would only make them better. He nearly hadn't gotten in because he was a guy they wanted their brand to be about power for people who often didn't have it, women, non-binary people, other members of the LGBTQ+ community. He hadn't known this at the time though or he simply would have told them he was gay.

There'd been a fair bit of resistance from parts of their fanbase when he'd joined and it was now such a big deal for him realise how much more accepted he was. It was almost like he'd been there from the start, almost. So the jealousy, when he thought of what Tempted Timeless had, had, that bonding, binding experience, the fact that Ashton had told him that the reason that they'd put up with Angus' crap for so long was because he'd been their childhood friend. He understood where it came from, feeling like an outsider was hard in any work environment, he just spent a lot more time with his coworkers than most people.

In the next few years, there would be those experience for their band as well, they just needed a bit more time. Well at least he hoped.

He was actually having a really nice time talking to Luke when the older man's phone rang, which at this point was entirely unsurprising. He made an apologetic face like always and answered it, he was on the phone less than a minute and his face dropped, he nodded as if they could see him a few times followed by 'yes' or 'mhmm' and then the call ended.

He sighed heavily, "I can't explain all of this right now but can you go get Lesedi and the girls and take them up to the stands, tell them to stay off social media, I'll meet you and explain in at the very most an hour," he didn't wait for Calum's reponse and dialled another number on his phone stalking off to their dressing room.

Calum faltered for a moment, his mind racing, what the fuck could be this serious? Had someone been in an accident? Was there a bomb threat? His mind was continuing to spiral down that tangent when he pulled himself from it. Luke was always running around trying to fix shit, the least Calum would do was go find the others and stay out of the way until he could explain.

It didn't take him long to find the others in their dressing room and told them what Luke had asked him to do and they followed him to the seats. They were all sharing worried looks between them and none of them even spoke to say what they were all thinking, 'what could the problem possibly be' so they sat in silence waiting. True to his word Luke appeared less than an hour later with their tour manager (who Calum quietly thought was useless), and Ashton and Michael in tow. He imagined the girls, Lesedi and he had the same realisation at that moment about what the problem was. Angus.

"Sorry, to have been so cryptic and to have you all worried. I realise now that you might have thought there was a safety issue with the venue, it's nothing like that. I got a call about forty five minutes ago informing me that Angus Shepard has been accused of raping a woman in the US. We don't really know anything else about the situation right now but he's been-" Luke swallowed hard his hands shaking. Ashton raised a comforting hand to his shoulder and Luke let his eyes drop closed, his shoulders slumping.

Michael stepped forward, "Under the advice of his lawyer he is already on his way back to LA as well as with the knowledge that he is no longer welcome here. He's already agreed to detach himself from the band after long conversations with our lawyer. We completely understand if you no longer want to be a part of this tour. We personally cannot afford to refund the tickets so we will be playing the rest of the tour and North America because our insurance does not cover disgusting pieces of shit-"

"Michael, we aren't supposed to comment, to anyone," Luke said forcefully.

Michael coughed, "Anyway, again you're more than welcome to pull out, we completely understand. We can't really discuss the particulars of anything at this point but tonight's show will be going ahead, again only because we can't afford to cancel. We'll be putting out a statement on social media within the next half an hour or so. If any of you have any complaints against Angus or things you feel you need addressed just email Len, the guy in charge of your contract he'll answer any questions or grievances. Please do not hesitate to come forward if anything of this nature has happened to you," Michael told them seriously before sighing, "we'll leave you all to talk about what you're going to do, we have to make a few more calls and do some damage control," and the boys were forwarding off.

Once they were well out of earshot Angel turned to face them all, "So what are our thoughts?"

"I feel awful for that girl and I'm kind of worried for their band, I feel like if we can we should stay," Calum said quietly.

"I agree, it's only five shows and they're not defending him, he's gone," Rachael said, the sombre look not lifting from her face.

"I think we should donate our merch profits from these shows to End the Backlog or something like that," Lesedi said, her face a mirror of Rachael's.

"A donation's a good idea, do we wanna do End the Backlog? or does someone have something else?" Calum asked.

Angel sighed, "We could do half to End the Backlog and half to a victims organisation, End the Backlog is great cause obviously we want every rape kit tested and rapists to be caught but it'd also be nice to be able to do something for the victims themselves,"

They all nodded their agreement, "So we'll stay and make a donation, maybe even suggest it to the boys if they haven't thought of it already," Rachael paused for a minute, "this is so fucked, we practically lived with him,"

Nia, got up and walked out, Calum wanted to descibe it as storming but there was something very sad and insecure about the exit that caused him to rethink it. They all made eye contact before Angel walked off following her.

"I'll go find the boys and let them know, you guys go be there for her," Calum said with a small grimace before leaving in the direction the boys had.

He found Michael and Luke sitting in the dressing room, Michael's hand clasped down on Luke's shoulder. They were completely silent but looked up as soon as Calum approached, Michael dropping his hand. Luke looked empty, like someone had turned off the light and Michael looked worried, his brow naturally furrowed.

"We talked, we're gonna stay on. We decided we're going to donate the profits from our merch sales to End the Backlog and a victims organisation," he told them, taking a a seat in an uncomfortable armchair opposite them.

"Thank god," Luke sighed, "if you guys left it would just look worse, like there was something worse going on,"

"We're going to donate merch profits as well, Ashton and Troy are organising that right now actually, statement will be out soon. I fucking hope he hasn't done anything like this to anyone else,"

There was silence for a long moment, no one really knowing what to say.

"I hate to have to ask this, but can you play bass for us for the rest of the tour? I know it's a lot to ask but, you're the most capable person we know, and honestly one of the few we trust right now," Michael let his face sink down into his hands as he finished speaking.

Calum faltered, this morning if asked this question he wouldn't have even blinked before saying yes, but now the world was a different place. He thought about Luke who looked broken, and Michael who had always been so open with him from the beginning. They were good people, he didn't want everything to fall apart for them. And Ashton, he thought he might just about do anything for Ashton, which was concering in and of itself, but he liked these people, he wanted to be able to take the tiniest little bit of stress off their shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah i can do that," he told them quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE BRIEFLY MENTIONED 
> 
> I would also like to say that, by writing this into the story that am I in no way making light of Sexual Assault, I think we all especially younger fans of musicians need to be aware that there are people who will take advantage of their position and peoples admiration of them, you are in no way obligated to do anything for these people and if they make you uncomfortable leave as soon as you get the chance. Boycott musicians/actors/directors who perpetrate these crimes, do not allow them to continue to profit from an industry they have used as a means of protection from the consequences of their actions and as a hunting ground for victims.


	15. 1.3

**_[13th of November - Paris]_ **

Calum had played Bass for Tempted Timeless the night before, and then Luke had led him with him to their van, back to their hotel and poured him two fingers of scotch.

"How are you feeling?" he'd asked Luke, the tension in the room was undeniable, he had known before Luke had even opened his mouth that he wanted to ask him something.

"I'm fine, I have a favour to ask you," Calum had simply nodded as if to say 'go-ahead', "will you come with us- I mean will you play Bass for us on the North American tour? I know it's a lot to ask, and you have recording and all that stuff to do, but it'd only be a couple of months. It's just gonna be hard to find anyone else that's good and doesn't mind being associated with us,"

Calum had told him he'd talk to the others and see what his band decided, and once he knew, Luke would be the first to know. He'd gone back to the other hotel and spoken with them, and they'd all agreed that they could do without him for a little while. They'd gone to bed, and Calum had tossed and turned all night thinking about Luke. He seemed separate from himself; he was distant and yet he was still going through the motions. Doing what he had to.

After they'd arrived in Paris, he and Ashton had found a mostly empty storage room and planted themselves on the floor. Ashton with a book and Calum with his laptop. They hadn't spoken, not about anything personal since they'd found out about Angus.

"So, Luke asked me to come with you guys on the North America tour," Calum had said assuming his question was implied, but Ashton nodded for him to continue, "well I'm bringing it up because if you don't want me to, I'll say no,"

Ashton moved his book, so it lay in his lap face down, "the three of us talked about it together before Luke asked," he exhaled out of his nose, and a small smile came onto his face "I would have made sure Luke didn't even offer if I didn't want you there," he reached across gently tugging Calum's hand from his keyboard to hold it.

"How kind of you," Calum replied with an eye-roll.

Ashton chuckled, "Like you wouldn't miss our little Rendevous',"

"I-, the other's might not want me around if they knew about them," he sighed heavily, pulling his hand from Ashton's for his face to fall into, "maybe I should tell Luke, the last thing you guys need right now is something else that'll make people's opinions worse,"

"He won't want you to leave, he'll just tell us to be more careful, he'll worry. We're less likely to get caught in a- in a precarious situation if fewer people know," Ashton reasoned.

Calum thought for a moment, about Luke and how much he had to deal with right now, "He would be worried; he's so out of it right now," he conceded.

"He doesn't know what to do," Ashton sighed, the 'none of us do' was unspoken.

They were both quiet for a long moment, the unspoken words hanging between them. Everything was the same and yet doing anything normal felt wrong, it felt like they should have a major shift in priorities, but what the fuck could they even do?

"You want this, right? You're not just doing this, with me because you feel like you have to?" Ashton asked suddenly.

Calum scoffed, the tension falling from his own shoulders. Seeing Ashton unsure of himself was practically unheard of."I tell you no all the time, and you just say 'Okay, let's go get food'," Calum laughed setting his laptop down and swinging himself across Ashton's lap, "not wanting isn't the problem," he continued, punctuating each word with a kiss to his throat, "you're actually very considerate for someone so goddamn horny," he chuckled, playfully biting Ashton's chin before pulling back. "But despite being rich and famous, you're very hot and extremely good with your hands; there are plenty of reasons to fuck you,"

A small smile found its way onto Ashton's face, "for someone who blushes so much you should learn not to show your hand so easily,"

"Well this is the last time I try and make you feel better," Calum moved to get up, but Ashton's hands came down on his hips, he blushed now, feeling Ashton's eyes centre in on him. His head fell back to avoid eye contact, "I gotta go find Luke, tell him the good news,"

Ashton hummed and brought his lips to Calum's neck, kissing and sucking, "you should be staying here, Luke can know whenever,"

"You're always horny; you can have your dick ridden whenever,"

Ashton's lips were still on Calum's throat, "You're so mean to me," he mumbled into his jaw.

"I gotta go, hold onto my laptop," Calum pulled away quickly leaning down to kiss Ashton's cheek. He almost froze on the spot at the intimacy of the gesture but instead quickened his exit.

He was quietly hoping Ashton would let that slip up go as he weaved through the backstage area heading for Tempted Timeless' dressing room. When he made it to the door, he knocked quietly, and Michael's voice called out to come in. Inside he was playing Fortnite and Luke was at the very back of the room talking quietly with their tour manager.

"They won't be long, come and sit," he patted the couch next to him and then quickly went back to his game.

Calum joined him watching Michael build a massive fort; he wasn't sure if it was actually tactically advantageous or if he just could so he did. It was enough either way to entertain him as he waited for the others to finish up. When Luke joined them, Calum didn't even notice as he watched someone fall into one of Michael's traps.

"Not that I don't enjoy the company but is there a reason you've come to visit us? I thought you were working on course work today,"

"Course work?" Michael asked, glancing at Calum before he quickly went back to his game.

"Uh, yeah I'm still trying to finish my degree, doing what I can online until I get a break and can get back to do the last of it. But actually, I came to tell you guys that, um, I'll do it, I'll come on the North America tour. I've spoken to everyone, and they're okay with it so, yeah,"

Luke clapped a hand down on Calum's back, "Thanks man, it'll be great I promise, I mean once this shit's behind us, it'll be worth it, we'll make it worth it," and for the first time in twenty-four hours, Luke cracked a smile. 


	16. 1.4

**_[13th of November - Paris]_ **

Calum had played Bass for Tempted Timeless the night before, and then Luke had led him with him to their van, back to their hotel and poured him two fingers of scotch.

"How are you feeling?" he'd asked Luke, the tension in the room was undeniable, he had known before Luke had even opened his mouth that he wanted to ask him something.

"I'm fine, I have a favour to ask you," Calum had simply nodded as if to say 'go-ahead', "will you come with us- I mean will you play Bass for us on the North American tour? I know it's a lot to ask, and you have recording and all that stuff to do, but it'd only be a couple of months. It's just gonna be hard to find anyone else that's good and doesn't mind being associated with us,"

Calum had told him he'd talk to the others and see what his band decided, and once he knew, Luke would be the first to know. He'd gone back to the other hotel and spoken with them, and they'd all agreed that they could do without him for a little while. They'd gone to bed, and Calum had tossed and turned all night thinking about Luke. He seemed separate from himself; he was distant and yet he was still going through the motions. Doing what he had to.

After they'd arrived in Paris, he and Ashton had found a mostly empty storage room and planted themselves on the floor. Ashton with a book and Calum with his laptop. They hadn't spoken, not about anything personal since they'd found out about Angus.

"So, Luke asked me to come with you guys on the North America tour," Calum had said assuming his question was implied, but Ashton nodded for him to continue, "well I'm bringing it up because if you don't want me to, I'll say no,"

Ashton moved his book, so it lay in his lap face down, "the three of us talked about it together before Luke asked," he exhaled out of his nose, and a small smile came onto his face "I would have made sure Luke didn't even offer if I didn't want you there," he reached across gently tugging Calum's hand from his keyboard to hold it.

"How kind of you," Calum replied with an eye-roll.

Ashton chuckled, "Like you wouldn't miss our little Rendevous',"

"I-, the other's might not want me around if they knew about them," he sighed heavily, pulling his hand from Ashton's for his face to fall into, "maybe I should tell Luke, the last thing you guys need right now is something else that'll make people's opinions worse,"

"He won't want you to leave, he'll just tell us to be more careful, he'll worry. We're less likely to get caught in a- in a precarious situation if fewer people know," Ashton reasoned.

Calum thought for a moment, about Luke and how much he had to deal with right now, "He would be worried; he's so out of it right now," he conceded.

"He doesn't know what to do," Ashton sighed, the 'none of us do' was unspoken.

They were both quiet for a long moment, the unspoken words hanging between them. Everything was the same and yet doing anything normal felt wrong, it felt like they should have a major shift in priorities, but what the fuck could they even do?

"You want this, right? You're not just doing this, with me because you feel like you have to?" Ashton asked suddenly.

Calum scoffed, the tension falling from his own shoulders. Seeing Ashton unsure of himself was practically unheard of."I tell you no all the time, and you just say 'Okay, let's go get food'," Calum laughed setting his laptop down and swinging himself across Ashton's lap, "not wanting isn't the problem," he continued, punctuating each word with a kiss to his throat, "you're actually very considerate for someone so goddamn horny," he chuckled, playfully biting Ashton's chin before pulling back. "But despite being rich and famous, you're very hot and extremely good with your hands; there are plenty of reasons to fuck you,"

A small smile found its way onto Ashton's face, "for someone who blushes so much you should learn not to show your hand so easily,"

"Well this is the last time I try and make you feel better," Calum moved to get up, but Ashton's hands came down on his hips, he blushed now, feeling Ashton's eyes centre in on him. His head fell back to avoid eye contact, "I gotta go find Luke, tell him the good news,"

Ashton hummed and brought his lips to Calum's neck, kissing and sucking, "you should be staying here, Luke can know whenever,"

"You're always horny; you can have your dick ridden whenever,"

Ashton's lips were still on Calum's throat, "You're so mean to me," he mumbled into his jaw.

"I gotta go, hold onto my laptop," Calum pulled away quickly leaning down to kiss Ashton's cheek. He almost froze on the spot at the intimacy of the gesture but instead quickened his exit.

He was quietly hoping Ashton would let that slip up go as he weaved through the backstage area heading for Tempted Timeless' dressing room. When he made it to the door, he knocked quietly, and Michael's voice called out to come in. Inside he was playing Fortnite and Luke was at the very back of the room talking quietly with their tour manager.

"They won't be long, come and sit," he patted the couch next to him and then quickly went back to his game.

Calum joined him watching Michael build a massive fort; he wasn't sure if it was actually tactically advantageous or if he just could so he did. It was enough either way to entertain him as he waited for the others to finish up. When Luke joined them, Calum didn't even notice as he watched someone fall into one of Michael's traps.

"Not that I don't enjoy the company but is there a reason you've come to visit us? I thought you were working on course work today,"

"Course work?" Michael asked, glancing at Calum before he quickly went back to his game.

"Uh, yeah I'm still trying to finish my degree, doing what I can online until I get a break and can get back to do the last of it. But actually, I came to tell you guys that, um, I'll do it, I'll come on the North America tour. I've spoken to everyone, and they're okay with it so, yeah,"

Luke clapped a hand down on Calum's back, "Thanks man, it'll be great I promise, I mean once this shit's behind us, it'll be worth it, we'll make it worth it," and for the first time in twenty-four hours, Luke cracked a smile. 


	17. 1.5

**_[15th of November - Munich]_ **

Nothing had changed, not really, but tonight had been Calum's first night playing with Tempted Timeless since he'd officially been asked to stay on until February, _February_. His life now had a whole new direction for the next few months and he wondered if he'd be with the girls before they finished the album. It also changed the time limit imposed on his and Ashton's 'relationship', something he'd thought would be ending in four days now, hypothetically now though it had nearly two and a half months more life.

Not that it was like he was desperately waiting for it to be over, but a lot could change in that time and if he'd gotten out now he at least knew he hadn't made a mess of things. If he and Ashton... put an end to things, would he be sent on his way? If Michael and Luke found out would they do the same? And what would they think of Calum? It was all just a lot more worrying, but it was an opportunity of a lifetime, and he supposed those were often worrying.

The reception he'd gotten from the crowd that night had made things a little bit easier too, only a handful of people booed when he came on stage and they were promptly told off by other audience members and by the stern looks of Ashton and Michael, followed by Luke explaining that without Calum the shows would have been cancelled and that they should be more appreciative. It had rattled him slightly but by the third song, he was back to his usual self.

When he walked off stage at the end of the encore he had a grin across his face, Angel and Rachael were waiting at the side of the stage to give him hugs and reassure him that he'd been great. It had been an early show and Calum was hoping the girls might go out for a drink with him once they got back to their hotel, he needed some normalcy in his life right now. He didn't get the chance to ask though when Luke called for him.

"We're gonna grab our stuff and head back to the hotel, you coming?"

Calum gave the girls a confused look before turning over his shoulder to look at Luke, who was sipping from a water bottle and looking expectantly at him, "Oh, I thought I was staying with these guys still," he said, gesturing to the girls.

"Ah, yeah you can if you want, we just thought better to start the new routine as soon as possible, but I understand if you want to stay with the others," he shrugged, but he looked guilty.

"Don't worry about it Cal, enjoy it while you can, we'll see you tomorrow," Angel told him with a soft smile.

"Okay, well, text me tonight, it'll feel weird without you guys," he told them, his brow furrowed, not sure how he felt about all of this.

"Do a panty raid for us," Rachael said with a wink, they all chuckled and went their sperate ways, Calum nervous as to what the setup was like at the other band's hotel.

When they got to the hotel his questions were answered, "So who are you going to bunk with tonight Luke?" Michael asked grinning, "first time in oh, I'd say five or six years you've actually gotten to choose," he laughed before turning to Calum's confused look, "we always made him share with Angus,"

Luke grinned slinging an arm around Ashton's shoulder, "we haven't had a bromantic night in such a long time," he said squeezing his peck with the same arm that hung around his neck.

"I'm right here," Michael said with an exasperated sigh.

Calum rolled his eyes, "So I'm the dud, huh? Two of you are going to have a bromance night and the other is gonna get stuck with me?" he smiled good-naturedly but his gut was twisting slightly at all the stories he'd heard about Ashton and Luke and what he was seeing in front of him.

"Aw, I'll share with you, Cal, " Ashton said ruffling his hair.

"Well I guess that decides for us, Michael and I are gonna do our nails and talk about our girlfriends, and you two can be sad and lonely," Luke said, holding out the two keys for them to take one.

Ashton snatched one quickly before calling, "Michael snores suck shit," climbing into the waiting elevator and hitting the close door button over and over again.

"Ugh, I forgot about that, you're with Calum tomorrow night," Luke said pointing a finger accusingly at Michael.

When they got upstairs Calum had to knock for Ashton to let him in, he had already taken his shoes, shirt and belt off and was snacking on something grainy and undesirable. Calum couldn't help but roll his eyes before throwing his bag on the bed and heading straight for the bathroom, he stripped off and climbed under the warm spray. As he let the warm water work his knots undone he began to wonder what the dynamic was going to be in the shared room tonight. He and Ashton had only fucked in a bed once, and Ashton had snuck back to his own hotel immediately after, would they sleep in the same bed? The way the room was laid out even if they slept in separate beds they'd only be ten feet apart. But were they the sort that slept in the same bed? All of this was more complicated than he'd anticipated and by the time he was drying himself off and opening the bathroom door he'd resolved to just let what happened, happen.

He'd no sooner thought that and Ashton had wrapped his arms around Calum's bare waist from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"Can't believe I got you on the first night," he hummed kissing Calum's shoulder before walking him back into the bathroom.

"Wondered how long it would take you, was surprised you didn't climb in the shower with me," Calum chuckled, letting himself be walked into the bathroom.

Ashton pulled the towel free and stepped back, using a hand on his lower back to get him to bend over the counter, "do you want foreplay? or do you want me in you?"

"In me," Calum replied, pressing his arse back.

Ashton reached over his shoulder and into his toiletry bag pulling out a small bottle of lube putting a generous amount on his fingers and then directly on Calum's hole, he pushed his bum back again but instead of pressing in Ashton pulled his cheek to the side admiring him carefully. Calum whined lowly and Ashton gave up on teasing him as he watched his hole flutter and pressed a finger in, he got practically no resistance, the younger boy relaxed and desperate for him. He worked him for barely a minute before adding another and Calum moaned lowly. Ashton curved his fingers down slightly and the moans pitch changed.

"Like that baby?" Calum nodded keeping his mouth tightly shut, "we aren't hiding in a storeroom now, you can be loud," Ashton told him running a hand up his side gently before bringing it back down to hold Calum's cheeks apart.

"They're on the other side of the wall Ashton, they'll hear us," Calum told him firmly.

"Maybe if they hear they'll let me have you every night," Ashton, said the smirk clear in his voice.

He continued to work him open, Calum keeping his moans quiet as Ashton added another finger, only working it in and out for a few minutes before pulling his fingers out. He leant over Calum reaching for the toiletry bag again this time pulling a condom out.

Ashton ran his hand down the front of Calum's thigh, squeezing it gently as he spoke, "On the break, we should go get tested, don't wanna use these anymore, wanna breed you," he spoke hotly against Calum's throat.

Calum groaned loudly, and Ashton quickly freed his cock from his jeans, wrapped and lubed it behind him, lining himself up he reached over and placed a hand on top of the others on the counter and he looked back at him, Ashton raised his eyebrows in question and Calum nodded and he pressed in slowly. His thick cock had him feeling incredibly full and he was aching to feel it rubbing against his prostate.

Ashton began to thrust in and out, pulling himself flush against Calum, and pulling the boys leg up onto the counter to get a better angle at his prostate, continuing to pound him over and over. His face was pressed close into Calum's neck mumbling profanities and 'fuck you feel so good,' into the skin there. The younger man's mouth was dropped open, moans and gasps falling from him each time Ashton grazed his prostate, his own cock entirely untouched and dribbling precome.

"Please touch me," Calum breathed out between low uninhibited noises.

Ashton moved his hand from atop Calum's and started to stroke him fast and firm until the boy was coming ribbons. He stroked him slowly through his orgasm, his own thrusting becoming slow and purposeful until he too was coming and he pulled out gently, disposing of the condom quickly.

Ashton's arm held tight around Calum's waist, letting himself slump against his back, "Why do you always feel so good?" he mumbled against his skin.

Calum chuckled, "Why are you such a kiss arse?"

The older man leant around him to make eye contact and a faux offended face, "kiss arse?" he asked, then he moved back dropping to his knees, and started to pepper kisses against Calum's bum, who started to giggle, reaching back with his hand to swat him away playfully with his hand.

Then there was a knock at the door and they both froze for a second before Calum shoved Ashton out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him, running the shower.

He heard Ashton call, "Who is it? One Second,"

"It's me, Michael," Michael's voice called back.

Calum heard the door open but they began to speak at a lower volume and he couldn't hear anything they were saying. So he waited afraid to move.

"Did you hear that Cal?" Ashton shouted.

"No, what's up?"

"I wanna take you out for a drink," Michael spoke this time, loud and clear.

"Okay, give me ten minutes to get out and get ready hey?", he heard the door close then and a few seconds later Ashton opened the door, "What happened to 'maybe if they hear they'll let me have you all the time'?" Calum asked, his tone mocking.

"Secrets are fun," he said grinning, his hand reaching out for Calum's hip, but the younger man moved out of his reach easily.

"Get out, I've gotta get ready to meet Michael," he said shooing him and rolling his eyes fondly.


	18. 1.6

**_[16th of November- Zurich]_ **

He had a hangover the next day. Michael had said he'd wanted to go out for _a_ _drink_ , not _drinks_.So after a bottle of scotch between them, they'd stumbled back to the hotel at some ungodly hour, and the last thing he remembered was Michael handing him over to Ashton at the hotel room door. The next memory after that had been Ashton gently waking him up saying he'd laid out some clothes for Calum and packed his bag, but they needed to leave now, or the others were going to leave without them. He'd followed Ashton, drowsy and confused and climbed in the car, falling asleep against Ashton's shoulder.

When he woke again Ashton was talking, "You really had to go and get him fucked up on the first night, he's going to be miserable all day," Calum pressed his face further into the soft fabric of the older boys hoodie, subtly drinking in the smell.

"He's in the industry I thought he could hold his booze better," Michael said, chuckling a little.

"He only joined Angel & Trinkets like a year ago, he's barely in the industry," Luke spoke seriously.

"I thought they met in college, how old is he?" Michael sounded horrified, and if Calum had been more awake and less headache ridden, he might have said something snippy.

"Twenty-one," Luke told him.

"He's a baby," Michael cooed.

Calum felt Ashton shift before he spoke, "He's only three years younger than you,"

"Yeah but he's like five years younger than you, that feels crazy, people that much younger than you should be in like high school right?" Michael explained, astounded.

"Imagine being twenty-one again," Luke groaned.

"You were twenty-one, two years ago," Ashton chuckled.

Calum shifted again; he wasn't resting on Ashton's shoulder anymore his face was almost buried in his side, under his arm, trying to use it to block sound and light.

"He's pretty comfy there," Michael laughed, and Calum assumed he was watching him, he couldn't help but blush, this was why getting tipsy around them was dangerous, he didn't want anything to slip out.

"Think he's trying to block out the sun and probably us, you should have seen how hard it was to get him up this morning, so thanks again Michael you made my morning a lot of work,"

"Ugh, you guys are so loud, how far away are we?" Calum groaned, finally deciding to sit up.

Michael grinned at him, "the baby's awake," he cheered.

"I have paracetamol here, it's the same thing as Tylenol," Ashton told him, leaning down in front of his feet to fish through his bag, when he sat back up he handed Calum a blister pack and bottle of water.

He took them and quickly chugged the water "Why'd you do this to me Michael?" he groaned, trying to shift himself, so he was sitting up comfortably.

Luke and Michael chuckled, and Ashton just smiled at him, "we'll get you some McDonalds when we get to Zurich."

They'd chatted the rest of the way into the city, Calum keeping quiet as the headache slowly ebbed away.

When they arrived, they were taken straight to the venue, which often happened when they got late starts. The boys left almost as soon as they arrived, going to get food, Calum stayed wanting to catch up with Lesedi and the others, and honestly feeling a little under the weather still.

They were spread out around the dressing room, Nia and Angel were curled up together on their phones, Lesedi was on the floor embroidering something into denim and Rachael, and Calum were playing a game of snap beside them.

"So when do you actually finish up with Tempted Timeless?" Rachael asked him as she shuffled the deck.

"Umm, beginning of February," He replied, reaching over to take a Dorito from the bag by her.

"I think we'll have the album recorded by then," Angel said thoughtfully, "do you know what they're going to do for a bass player when you come back?"

"No idea, I don't think any of their friends are free at the moment; otherwise I guess they wouldn't have asked me," he told them with a shrug.

"Well, we were talking about that last night actually, and we thought that maybe they'd be asking you to come on fulltime," Angel said thoughtfully.

"Oh-"Calum went to speak, confused by why they'd think something like that.

Angel continued, "Yeah, well they just seem really happy with you is all, and you're not going to make it back in time to be on the album, you'd essentially just be a touring band member, you know?"

"We thought maybe you'd prefer being with them," Lesedi added with a shrug.

"And, it's just that, nothing you've written is the same style as the album, and now you're not going to get to be involved in recording, and you seem like you're having a really good time with them. It's not anything more than that, you know? You're just so talented, and we're just wasting it here,"

"So you're saying that you think it's best if I don't come back then?" Calum asked slowly.

The girls shared a look between them before Angel spoke, "It's nothing personal, you know that, we love you it's just-,"

She was cut off by Michael thundering into the room, "We got you McDonald's like we promised Cal,"

Calum looked at him for a moment, still stunned before he got up off the floor, "Oh thanks man, I really need some food," he grabbed the bag from Michael and moved past him, Michael followed not seeming to notice his mood.

"Got you a cheeseburger, swapped the meat for a hashbrown instead," he told him as Calum rifled through the bag."Ashton said you were a vegetarian, so I didn't really know what to get, cause I was originally gonna get you chicken nuggets," he said happily grinning as they continued down the hall together.

"Where are the others?" Calum asked, trying to seem as casual as he could.

"Luke is on the phone somewhere, and Ashton was going to the bathroom," he hummed, as he led their way around a corner and into another dressing room.

Calum felt his phone vibrate but left it to start eating his McDonalds instead. He was absolutely floored, never in a million years had he thought they'd ask, well ask was a nice way of putting it, he guessed he never thought they'd tell him it was time to leave. It had only been a few days, how the fuck could things change so quickly? Had he made a mistake agreeing to help Tempted Timeless? He decided it didn't matter, either way, he couldn't change anything, but what the fuck was he supposed to do? The girls and Lesedi were acting like he could just ask the boys to join their band. What the fuck would Ashton say if he asked that? He didn't even want to think about it.

He was halfway through his hashbrown cheeseburger and fries when Ashton came back from the bathroom, and he was trying to clear his mind, trying any thought that would distract him. Most of those centred around Ashton in various states of undress, so he was having a hard time shifting his semi, so it was hidden in his sweats. When they made eye contact across the room, Calum gestured with his eyes toward the door. Ashton gave a little nod, and Calum got up and left, wordlessly. He made his way down a different hall, all the doors being labelled with staff members names until finally, he found one that simply said 'storage' in all capital letters and slipped inside. It was almost empty but had an overflowing box of coasters in the corner which was stacked atop two milk crates full of cables. It was dark and a little dusty, normally if Ashton had led him in here he'd have protested, but today he really didn't care.

The door opened and let in a small amount of light as Ashton entered before closing it quickly, and Calum was on him immediately, hands in his hair and lips against lips. Letting his tongue dart into the older man's mouth, their lips mashing and Calum's hands leaving his hair and wandering lower and lower. He tried to focus his mind on his actions, trying to make himself get caught up in fumbling into Ashton's pants or the sweet taste of him on his tongue. Instead, his hands started to shake, and his mind continued to fog and cloud with daunting pictures of his future, of the distinct burn of rejection that still sat in his chest. He felt Ashton gently grab the hand working on his belt and pull it back, holding it before he let their lips separate.

"Why are you crying? What's the matter?" Ashton asked his voice heavy with concern.

Crying? Calum slowly recentered himself in the moment, and he realised his cheeks were, in fact, wet, he wiped quickly at his face with the back of his free hand. But with the wipe, several more tumbled down, and they started to flow freely, and he looked up making eye contact with Ashton for the first time since they'd entered the cupboard. His brows were furrowed, but his eyes were kind and questioning.

Calum sighed, "The-" his voice caught in his throat, and he swallowed thickly, "The other's decided that it's best if I don't rejoin Angel & Trinkets after I finish up with you guys," his voice quavering but managing to say it all the same.

"Oh," is all Ashton could seem to manage, faltering for a moment before wrapping his arms around Calum's shoulders and bringing him closer, "I-I don't know what to say," he admitted.

Calum let out a long shaky sigh as his own response; he didn't even know what he wanted to hear, so he didn't blame Ashton for not knowing what to say.

"Maybe if you just explain how you're feeling, it'll make you feel a little better," he offered quietly.

He nodded in response, "I just I don't know what the fuck to do, like I know I'm getting my degree still, which is great and all but now that I've done this, this is all I kind of wanna do now. I don't know how to find another band; I don't even know how I'm going to afford my apartment after all this, I just- I have no idea where to go from here,"

Ashton didn't seem to skip a beat, "We'll help you meet people, okay? Luke would be beside himself if he thought this was his fault, he'll make sure you've got somewhere to stay and everything else alright? There's no way we'd leave you high and dry, after everything you've done for us, you're family of the band now, and we take care of our family," he told him seriously, looking deep into his eyes and Calum saw the earnestness.

He dropped his head into Ashton's shoulder, wiping his tears against the older man's shirt, "hey! You're not a little kid that's not cute," Calum continued wiping his face, grinning as he did so, "you're going to get boogers all over my shirt," the younger man simply laughed in response and pulled back to show him his grin, Ashton chuckled and shook his head, smiling lightly as Calum wiped the rest of his tears with his hands.

They were silent for a few moments, the mood lighter but Ashton sighed and the mood shifted again, "Were you going to tell me?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," Calum said honestly shrugging his shoulder, "I found out like twenty minutes ago, I didn't know what I was going to do. I wanted to tell you but, I don't know, it's embarrassing," he shrugged again, his eyes skating across Ashton's shoulders to avoid his eyes.

Ashton brought his hand up to massage at the back of Calum's neck comfortingly, "I wouldn't worry about it too much, it happens to lots of people all the time and sometimes, many, many times, okay?"

Calum nodded for Ashton's benefit, but the knot in his stomach remained.


	19. 1.7

**_[17th of November - Milan]_ **

They'd just finished sound checking when Luke and Ashton had disappeared. 

Calum could feel Michael's eyes watching him, as he watched the other two leave, "They're working out percentages and non-profits, talking about a possible charity show. If you're still around they might ask you to play at it, depends when and if it happens though," Michael told him, and as Calum turned to make eye contact with him, he shrugged and turned his attention back to the guitar he was putting on a stand. 

"It's good you guys are doing something, shows people you actually care," 

He hummed in response, "you wanna get something to eat after this? I just have a few more things to put away," 

Calum nodded and sat down on the edge of the stage, letting his feet swing back and forth gently knocking the stage over and over. He was having a hard time not climbing out of his skin if he were honest. It had only been one night since he and Ashton had shared a room, last night he'd shared with Michael which was fine. He liked Michael, he was friendly and funny, and he told great stories. Stories about his fiancee and their dogs, or Luke and Ashton. He did however never mention Angus, even in stories that were about the whole band. It was an odd reminder that despite both his and Ashton's calm demeanours, they too were in mourning like Luke. 

It wasn't that, that was bothering him though, it was this ridiculous need to be near Ashton all the damn time. They'd all be standing around talking, or working on something and he'd just want to stand beside him shoulder to shoulder, just any excuse to touch him. It was getting ridiculous, they'd barely been apart, but the feeling was so insanely intense. He wasn't an idiot either, he knew what it meant, and he'd deal with it once all this was over, but right now he had to fight the urge to needlessly cross rooms to sit far too close to Ashton.

He was watching his legs swing back and forth as he thought, paying no attention to how much more packing up Michael had to do. 

"Oh hey!" he called, and Calum whipped his head around, that ridiculousness from before surfacing and thinking ' _he might be calling out to Ashton, Ashton's here_ '. The much more likely answer considering the others had _just_ left was that it was Angel & Trinkets. He let out a small sigh and went back to swinging his legs before he caught any of their eyes. 

Michael spoke again, and Calum found he couldn't sink into his thoughts well enough to block it out, "We won't be long, we're just packing up," 

"That's okay, we're a bit early," Angel said, Calum didn't know what her expression was, but he could feel at least one set of eyes on his back and prayed for some sort of miracle where when he got up to leave he wouldn't have to make eye contact with any of them. 

He completely understood why they'd done what they'd done, that didn't mean that he didn't feel slightly betrayed or that the way they'd gone about it had been right, but he got it and that kind of made it hurt more. 

"Well, saying _we're_ packing up is a bit generous," he could hear in Michael's voice that he was picking something up as he spoke, the words coming out laboured, "might have to give him back," he chuckled. 

Calum involuntarily flushed a dark shade of red and stilled, oh god. He hadn't told Luke or Michael what had happened yesterday, he hadn't really known how to bring it up, and Ashton had said that he could give it a couple of days, a couple of days wasn't going to put a stop to Luke searching high and low for a solution, or so he was told. That meant Michael wasn't trying to be cruel; he just made a joke that two days ago would have been funny. 

The others chuckled awkwardly before Angel spoke again, "Yeah might have to," they dispersed then, he could hear them on the wooden stage behind him picking up instruments and moving about. Calum, as quietly as he could, pushed himself off the edge of the stage and made a beeline for the dressing room. He'd had to take the long way, walking out into the public part of the venue and around but it had been worth not to have to look at any of them. When he reached the dressing room, he pulled the door closed and grabbed the huge blanket Luke always brought and wrapped it around himself before laying himself cross the whole couch. 

He was being a little bit stupid about it he guessed, but the reality was still settling in, and it was breaking his heart. He wanted not to have to do anything for a few days and let himself wallow, maybe even binge some junk food. His eyes shifted to Ashton's bag which he knew was home to a packet of Cheetos, how much trouble would he get in for eating them? Maybe a better question would be, would Ashton be weird about him going through his stuff?

That thought was interrupted when Michael opened the door, "Did I say something wrong?" He asked, quietly closing the door behind him. 

Calum sighed, letting his head sink back against the armrest, "No, I should have told you guys,"

"Told us what?" he asked slowly, moving to join Calum on the couch. 

Calum sat himself up, pulling his knees toward his chest, so Michael had plenty of room. "Yesterday, Lesedi and the girls told me that they think it's best if I don't rejoin them once I finish up with you guys," he shrugged his shoulders and gave Michael a sad smile, trying not to seem as upset as he was. 

"Fuck man," Michael sighed heavily, "we didn't realise this was going to be an issue; we should have tried harder to find someone else," he sighed again. "But Ash insisted, he said it would be fine, I should have known," Michael rubbed the bridge of his nose gently, eyes closed and his shoulders rigid, Calum suddenly wished he'd said nothing he didn't want Luke and Michael feeling like this was their fault. After all, he was the one who'd agreed in the first place, and the others had happily agreed to it as well, everyone had been okay with it- wait, Ashton had insisted? 

All the reassurances he'd had ready a moment ago were forgotten, and he couldn't help but ask, "Ash told you guys to pick me?" 


	20. 1.8

**_[18th of November - Day off]_ **

Ashton pulled the bathroom door closed quietly and raised an eyebrow at Calum who was laying on the couch scrolling through his phone. He knew exactly what the other's intentions were as Ashton moved quickly across the room, climbing on top of him and pressing a kiss just under his ear. 

"We haven't been alone in days," Ashton groaned into his throat, Calum went to speak, but Ashton interrupted him, "Luke's in a facetime meeting in one of the meeting rooms downstairs and Michael is playing Animal Crossing in he and I's room, so we have at least twenty minutes," 

Calum fought the urge to roll his eyes and instead placed a hand on Ashton's chest, pushing him up and off of him, so he was sitting on Calum's thighs instead, "We need to talk."

Ashton's brow furrowed, "Okay. What about?" he asked slowly. 

"You told Luke and Michael to pick me, didn't you? Don't even think about lying, Michael told me you, _insisted_ ," Calum said firmly, keeping his tone as even as possible. "I thought I'd earnt this," he swallowed thickly, avoiding Ashton's eyes, knowing he'd probably cry if he looked at him. "This isn't all about you, I know it must be fantastic having a good fuck around all the time, I get that. But this is my career, which is practically non-existent after this, so please for the love of God tell me this wasn't because I managed to fuck you before anyone else could," Calum finally made eye contact with Ashton. 

He could feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes but fought the urge to break eye contact, waiting for Ashton's explanation. He was ready to believe anything Ashton told him as long as it meant the seed of doubt this had sewn inside him would leave. 

"Cal, c'mon it's not like that, it's nothing like that, you know that. You're so talented, and you'd helped us out so much, I just thought you deserved the opportunity. They weren't against it for any other reason than that they thought it would be too hard on your band. We all know you're incredibly talented, you wouldn't be here no matter how much any one of us insisted if you weren't," he reached for Calum's hands and he let him take them, holding his fingers impossibly tight. 

The feeling was still there. Maybe he couldn't believe anything, no matter how much he might want to. But he couldn't keep going if this feeling didn't leave him, it felt like his life was stuck in limbo unless he could know for sure. "I'm going to tell Luke, he'll tell me the truth, he needs to know," Calum said his tone growing more confident. 

Ashton's eyes widened in panic, and his voice mirrored his eyes, "No! Please don't; you deserve this, he'll just be frustrated at me, it's not going to change anything. It'll just make him worry, he'll be looking over his shoulder all the time afraid we'll get caught. I promise, all I did was tell them that you at least deserved to be asked if you wanted it before they kept looking for other people, that's all." 

Calum was silent, thinking quietly and Ashton took the opportunity to drop his hands and snake an arm around his waist, his thumb stroking reassuringly up down a few inches of his spine. Calum sighed in response, letting his head fall forward onto Ashton's shoulder. 

"I know you're worried about what's going to happen when this is all over, but you got here on your own merit, you're talented, and now Luke and Michael know what's going on, we're all keeping an eye out for any opportunities for you okay?" Ashton told him quietly, his other hand squeezing the side of Calum's thigh before beginning to rub circles there as well. 

He sighed, "There's just too much I don't know, I- I've never not known what was coming next, you know? I might never get another chance to be a professional bass player," 

"I can't promise anything, but we're trying, and you have more experience than most people going into this, we might be able to get you a good touring job, who knows?"

"I'm just so tired Ash," 

"I know," Ashton sighed, and he was silent for a few moments, seemingly considering if he should ask the question he'd come for, "I was actually coming in here to ask you if you had big plans for the break, It's only a week, so I thought maybe you'd wanna come and stay with me in LA?" 

A tension built quickly in his chest; he hadn't even thought where he was going to go during the break. Originally he and the others were supposed to be finishing up and moving into a small place together while they recorded the album. They hadn't said it, but he assumed he was no longer welcome there. Fuck how had he not even thought about that? He held back a sigh as he realised he wasn't focusing on the right things. 

"You're really the horniest person I know," Calum said laughing instead, he didn't know if this was what he wanted, what would it be like when they were alone? With a whole week of conversation to fill out? Would it be awkward? Or would they fuck every time silence started to seep into the room? 

Ashton chuckled as well, not seeming to sense Calum's hidden hesitance, he took the hand from Calum's back and used it to push him back down onto the couch, "I'm going to take that as a yes, seeing as you're the horniest person I know," 

He didn't have time to think about if he should stop Ashton and continue their conversation because there was a knock at the door, "Cal, you in there? I haven't got the key, can you let me in?" Luke called into the room.

Calum's eyes widened, and he pushed Ashton off him incredibly fast and went to answer before he looked at Ashton who shrugged in response and Calum's mind started reeling, would Luke know? Surely not they were just- they could just be hanging out, right? 

The longer he took to answer, the more suspicious it would seem, "Cal? Calum!" Luke called again, and Ashton gave Calum an incredulous look. 

Calum started shooing him toward the bathroom, "Huh? Oh um one second, I just woke up," Ashton hid in the bathroom as quietly as he could, and Calum opened the door only a second after. "Sorry man, I was so confused about where I was for a second there," he rubbed at his eyes gently trying to feign tiredness, "I thought you had a meeting this afternoon," 

"Sorry I disturbed you, I forgot my iPad, I need it to look at some paperwork they sent me. I'm sorry I didn't wanna take the key in case you wanted to go and see something or do something," Luke explained searching through the pile of crap on the table for his iPad. 

"Oh that's all good, I'm just kind of a bit exhausted by everything lately, just wanna relax," Calum told him with a shrug. His eyes, however, were trained on Luke watching him, part of him terrified a pair of lace panties labelled 'Property of Ashton Irwin' were going to be hiding amongst the other things on the table. 

Luke turned, the iPad now in his hand, "I promise once, all this paperwork and shit is done, you and I'll sit down, and we'll figure out what we're going to do with you, okay?" He seemed to realise he was running out of time, "I gotta go, I will be back though," he gave him a smile and a small pat on his bicep before he quickly left the room. 

A moment after the door clicked shut, Ashton appeared from the bathroom, "what were you going to do if he planned on staying?" Calum shrugged in response; he really had no idea, he was paralysed with fear even though only a few minutes earlier he'd said he wanted to tell Luke the truth. He realised that he had no idea how that would all play out and he was honestly terrified he'd be worse off than he was now, which he had thought was impossible. 

Ashton shrugged, "It doesn't matter; when you stay with me, we'll finally get to be alone," he said wrapping his arms around Calum's waist. 


	21. 1.9

**_[19th of November - Madrid]_ **

It was the final show of the European tour and Calum was slightly worried about how the next few months were going to go. He was, however, trying to stay optimistic, he didn't necessarily trust Ashton had the conviction to help him as much as he might have intended, but he knew that Luke had a strong sense of responsibility toward him and that was reassuring. 

As they played the last few songs, he tried to remain present, smile and move with the songs as he played. The faces that stared back at him smiled widely and reached out, willing him to reach back. It still didn't feel right to him; this wasn't for him; he would have to remind himself. 

While the others spoke in between songs, he'd received a few hard glares from people in the audience, being able to feel their eyes on him and reflexively turning to meet them, before uncomfortably shifting them back to whoever was talking on stage. That hadn't bothered him all that much; it was the building of tension in his chest that concerned him more. When the last song (before the encore) was played, Luke was going to announce that Calum was going to come with them on the North American tour. Calum envisioned boo's and thrown food at the revelation but was stilling persevering through the song nonetheless, ready for whatever may come after Luke's announcement. 

"Okay, before we wrap up tonight and the tour, there are some people I would like to thank. Firstly the crew, sound, lighting, our tour manager, David who I have no idea what the fuck he does but I am glad is here! And everyone I've probably managed to forget in between. I would also like to thank my brothers, Ashton and Michael who are my rocks,"   
  


"Don't take me for granite," Ashton interrupted, grinning into his microphone, Calum couldn't help but grin, fuck he was cheesy. 

Luke was about to say something in return but, Michael interrupted, "now, now you two don't go getting sedimental."

Calum lost it at this, bending over in laughter, his guitar digging into his stomach, but being unable to stop laughing long enough to care. 

"Look what you two have done! You've broken Calum," Luke chastised them, and finally Calum pulled himself up, wiping at his eyes to see the three of them grinning at him, "you okay now?"

Calum nodded in response, biting his lip gently to stop another wave of laughter interrupting them again.

"As I was saying, Thank you to these two idiots, thank you to you all, and a very special thank you to Calum Hood. Without whom we not have been able to perform for you here or across many of our other European dates," Luke was interrupted again, this time by an overwhelming round of applause before again continuing. "He's gorgeous, I know! We're also announcing that the North America dates will still be going ahead thanks to him as well! So give another round of applause for the man on Bass," the audience enthusiastically complied, cheering and whooping, along with Michael, Ashton and Luke. 

Luke spoke again, "Thank you so much, Madrid, you've been beautiful!"

"And we've been Tempted Timeless!" Ashton shouted. 

"Goodnight!" Michael called, getting in, as always, the final word. 

Calum was practically vibrating with adrenaline as they raced off stage, quickly grabbing drinks of water and adjusting themselves as, the applause and chant of 'one more song' flooding their ears as they waited patiently before they would go back out. Ashton gave him a quick wink before turning to talk to Michael. 

After that, the encore went off without a hitch, and they were back in their hotel rooms less than an hour later. He was sharing with Michael again who was facetiming Crystal and their dogs, Calum had awkwardly waved hello and asked them if they wanted him to leave. They'd insisted it was fine and to just let them know if they were too loud. He couldn't take them at their word though and instead hid in a corner quietly scrolling through his phone as they spoke wistfully about their fast-approaching reunion. 

It was while he was scrolling through his feed that a post came up, he'd been tagged in it as well but hadn't noticed. 

_AngelandTrinkets_

_Posted 1 Hour Ago_

_It is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our bassist, @/ CalumHood. We were incredibly lucky to have had him join us during the last year and to watch him grow as an artist alongside us, and we are immensely grateful for him both as a colleague and friend. It is with no bad blood that we go our separate ways, and we wish Calum all the luck in whatever he pursues next._

_Much Love,_

_Angel x_

It was a photo of the five of them, backstage after playing in Germany, barely two weeks ago and so much had changed. They were all grinning madly; arms slung around one another and Lesedi kneeling in the front making two 'rock on' symbols with their hands. They looked like the best of friends who could be separated by nothing. Had they been talking about this since then? Actually, they had, the afternoon before that photo was taken he'd overheard Nia urging Angel to get rid of him. He'd dismissed it; he'd been too busy worrying someone was going to catch Ashton and him. 

All these thoughts made him realise, was that it didn't matter. That part of his life was really over. 

He looked up from his phone, trying to centre himself, wanting to count doorknobs or lightbulbs to calm the building anxiety. Michael was still chattering away happily to Crystal, and he felt a tug in his stomach that told him to get up and find Ashton. Which he did without questioning what that meant, and made his way down the hall, the rooms were further apart than usual, but he found the room fine nonetheless, remembering the number because it had '69' in it. 

When he knocked, he was ready to indulge himself and fall into Ashton's arms, even considering requesting a blowjob. Instead, Luke answered the door and Calum decided they might not be appropriate requests to make of him. 

"I, uh- Michael's on facetime," Calum explained lamely. 

Luke smiled, letting his eyes close and small chuckle leave him, "I can understand wanting away from that, especially if you're single," he stepped out of the doorway and let Calum into the room. 

"Where's Ash?" he tried to ask seemingly absentmindedly. As he walked in and sat down on the bed he assumed was Luke's the other had Ashton's duffle bag and headphones laying haphazardly across it. 

Luke took a seat on the edge of Ashton's bed opposite him, watching Calum a little too carefully, "He went out to get some food for the flight tomorrow," he paused for a moment before continuing, "I've meant to find you, I haven't gotten to talk to you since Michael told me about the situation we've gotten you into," 

Calum shrugged, "Ash said you guys were going to help, so that makes me feel a lot better," that was true, he did feel a lot better, but he'd felt pretty shit to begin with. 

"I'm glad he said that, cause I'm sure Michael didn't even think to reassure you when you told him," Luke chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah Ash was great, he told me you'd be on the case straight away, I really appreciate it, I was so overwhelmed, which was part of why I didn't tell you all straight away," Calum reasoned as he leant back on his hands getting a little more comfortable on the bed. 

"You've obviously seen that despite the fact that he can be quite-" Luke paused, choosing his word carefully, "standoffish? Doesn't matter, once he warms up to you, he can be friendly enough, takes a while though before it stops feeling like he's holding you at arm's length. I'm honestly surprised he's as good with you as he is, it's been... what? Like a month? Not even. But I suppose we've all warmed up to you pretty quickly, even the fans," He stopped seeming to lose track of where the thought had been going. 

"You guys have been so good, which is why I kind of came in here, I was looking for someone to hang out with, Angel just posted on the band account about me not coming," a lump in his throat stopped him the first time, but the second time he managed to say it, "back. And I just- I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the reality of it," tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes, "I was supposed to be leaving for LA tomorrow to live with my friends and record our first album," his hand was on his mouth. His eyes screwed shut, trying to hide from Luke, he didn't want him to feel guilty, but Calum just felt so alone all of a sudden. 

Luke moved to sit next to Calum, drawing him into his long arms for a tight embrace, "Hey, it's okay, you're allowed to be upset, this is really scary, If I were you I would be overwhelmed too. But I will never ever let anything happen to you; you've been so good to us, we'll make sure you've got food, a place to stay and I'm already looking for options for you okay? It's only been three days, just try and take it one day at a time. You've still got a job for at the very least the next three months," He pulled back making eye contact with Calum, "why don't you come and stay with Sierra and I for the break? She has a friend I think you'd like," Luke winked at him, giving him a good-natured smile. 

Calum's heart warmed, and he laughed, wiping at his eyes, "That's really nice of you, but I'm sure you guys will want as much alone time as you can get, I'm just going to stay at Ashton's," 

"Damn, he's too fast. Well actually we're leaving tomorrow, so maybe I'm a bit slow," Luke shrugged grinning, "Okay well, I need to go for a shower, but feel free to hang out here, I won't be long," 

Luke got up after that, collected his toiletries and went into the bathroom. He started to feel the events of the day and the now dry tears catch up with him and laid back on the bed, his shoes still on and let his mind drift from thought to thought.

He must have fallen asleep during that time because later, he woke, the lights were turned off, and the door had just opened, but he didn't bother sitting up to see who it was. 

"Is that Calum?" Ashton's voice asked he could hear him putting bags down on the ground, and then he spoke again, "What's he doing in here?" Calum didn't think Luke could hear it but Calum could, there was a tiny bit of fear in his voice. 

"Came in to chat, he was a bit upset about Angel's post, he had the tiniest cry, and then I went for a shower, when I came out he was asleep," Ashton moved closer, he could hear his feet against the carpeted floor. Bit it was Luke that spoke again, "I didn't want to disturb him, I think he's pretty emotionally tired as well, I wanted to let you know before I left. He can have my bed; I need to call Sierra anyway I'll just disturb him,"

"Oh, okay, I'll see you in the morning then," Ashton said, surprised. 

He could hear someone picking up things, "Sorry if you wanted to call KayKay or something but if I don't let Sierra know when we're landing tomorrow she'll be worried she's not going to be home in time," 

"No, no that's fine, I haven't called her in like three weeks I'm not going to start tonight, I'm fucking tired," 

"Night then," 

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning," 

Then the door opened and closed, it was quiet for a few minutes, and Calum started to drift again. Then he felt Ashton taking off his shoes very carefully before he heard him rummaging around in the sheets on the other bed, sure he was going to go to sleep Calum tried yet again to let himself go back to sleep. A blanket, the quilt from the other bed he guessed, was laid on top of him just as gently as his shoes had been taken off. Ashton was moving around again, and he was tempted to open his eyes and sneak a peak but had a feeling the older man wouldn't like being caught being so caring. 

Then he felt the cover lift and the bed dip and Ashton climbed in behind him, snaking an arm around Calum's waist and pressing his face into his neck. He laid as still as he could, trying to seem calm and relaxed, like an asleep person but he'd gone into shock. 

"I can feel your shallow breathing, I know you're awake," Ashton whispered. 

Calum turned around, so they were face to face, "sorry,"

"Why are you, sorry? Did I wake you up taking your shoes off?" 

"I don't know, and yeah but don't worry about it, I'm glad they're off," Calum lied, he didn't want Ashton to feel like he needed to explain the comment about the girl, or worse to think that it upset him. He didn't care; this wasn't serious... he supposed he did hope that Ashton wasn't cheating on her. He wouldn't be inviting him to stay with him if he had a girlfriend though, and she would have come up before now, right? 

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Ashton rubbed the frown lines between Calum's eyebrows, causing his forehead to relax. 

"Just mentally packing," he lied again, leaning up and pressing their lips together briefly before rolling back over so Ashton was spooning him again. 

"Okay, good night," he whispered. 


	22. 2.0

**_[20th of November - Traveling]_ **

When Calum had woken up the next morning limbs still tangled with Ashton's, he was tempted to lay there as long as he could get away with it. He decided instead that he sort of owed Ashton from a few mornings ago and carefully extracted himself from under the older man's arm. He picked up Ashton's things around the room, packing them carefully away and leaving all the important things he'd want for the plane in his ostentatious leather laptop bag. 

He still hadn't woken by the time Calum disappeared next door to collect his own things, which were virtually all still in his bag if memory served. 

Luke opened the door to the other room as soon as he knocked and Calum could see that all the bags were piled up against the wall by the door, ready to leave when they were. 

"I was so confused when I woke up this morning, and I went to wake you up, and you weren't you at all," Calum lied chuckling. 

Luke joined in, "I packed up my stuff pretty much straight after you fell asleep and I let Ash know when I got back, I was gonna come in here. You seemed like you'd had a rough few days, thought it would be best if I left you to rest." he shrugged. "Michael got in and packed up the few things you had lying around, thought if you weren't in here already Ash was letting you have a lie-in, I told him you were upset last night, I hope you don't mind," 

"Oh, thank you both, I'm sorry for being a bother. I haven't woken Ashton up, I thought I owed him a lie in after the other morning," he gave Luke a sheepish grin, and the taller man laughed, a thought hit Calum, and he spoke again without much contemplation, "You know what? Just for that hangover, Michael should have packed my bag," 

"I heard that! I'm not taking responsibility for your low alcohol tolerance!" 

Luke and Calum both laughed, as Michael appeared from the bathroom holding a toothbrush, "Actually that reminds me! Crystal and I were talking last night, and I was going to ask you when you got back last night. Do you want to stay with us during the break? Cause like what are you going to do? Waste money on a hotel." 

Calum's mouth opened, but Luke's words came first, "I beat you to the punch and Ashton beat me," 

"Be easier for me to stay with the single one anyway, don't wanna walk in on any, uh, reunions of yours," Calum said blushing, but his face breaking into a grin nonetheless. 

Luke and Michael shared a look, "You're more likely to walk in on something weird at Ashton's than ours, but we'll let you figure that out on your own," Michael chuckled. 

They didn't offer any more than that and Calum didn't ask, only giving them a comical raised eyebrow response. Then they left to take the bags downstairs, and he went to wake Ashton, who was refreshed after his sleep in and even gave Calum a good morning kiss. They didn't speak much other than an occasional question about where something was; it intensified Calum's worry that this was about to be the most awkward week of his life. What if the next week was so bad that Ashton said it was over? How awkward would that be? By the time Ashton was content they hadn't missed anything they'd changed their t-shirts, put on their shoes and were carrying their few carry on items down to the lobby with them still clad in sweatpants. 

It was an hour and a half later that they found themselves at the airport, tickets in hand and ready to board. Calum excitedly and nervously checking the other tickets to see where he was sitting. They, on the other hand, seemed tired by what Calum guessed was ritual to them by now. They all handed him their tickets to go through as they chatted, paying him little attention as if he were a child that had successfully managed to distract. He didn't pay much mind to them, they were talking about friends of theirs he'd never met anyway, and he was more worried he was going to be sat next to Ashton. Who was incapable of keeping his hands to himself. 

A quick check told him that he was seated next to Michael instead and the other two were in front of them. It was for the best; he might actually get some sleep. Luke would most likely be on his iPad the whole flight and Ashton, well that was going to be a challenge in and of itself because he knew, somewhere in the next 13-14 hours he would be fighting the urge to touch Ashton in any capacity. There was also the dilemma that this was the longest time he'd spent with him in front of Michael and Luke, how they spoke to one another could be telling if they weren't careful. They didn't talk much in front of the others usually, not in a weird way. Just, they tried to mirror the conversation's Luke and Michael had with Calum as much as possible; it wasn't really something they'd ever discussed either. Mostly they got away with hanging out so much because Michael and Luke often left to facetime their girlfriends, they didn't want to seem overly chummy or close.

The plane was going to be different, though. 

Once they were settled and had all gotten comfortable, checking the inflight entertainment and whatnot, there was an unspoken decision to go back to sleep. Ashton and Luke, already having set themselves up with pillows and blankets, Calum followed suit and hunkered down. He had a strange dream about Rachael, she was making him mac n cheese, but she was using sweetened cream instead and every time he told her that she would shake her head and laugh at him. 

His dream and nap were disturbed, and when he woke up the cabin was dimmed, most window shades closed, and there was an eery quiet that he assumed meant everyone was asleep. It took him another shake to the shoulder to realise that was what had woken him. 

"Calum, I just, wake up. I just wanted you to know, I- you're like my kid, you're gonna be my kid," Michael told him, his voice wasn't slurred, but it had that serious tone drunk's get when they're trying to emphasise a point no one else understands. 

What the fuck? Was he still dreaming? He looked at Michael through blurry eyes; he was sure his face must have shown his confusion because Michael giggled, shaking his head as if to say 'how does this not make sense to you?'. He blinked his eyes a few times experimentally before Michael came into focus, and he noticed the man's tray table housed two, tiny bottles of Absolut vodka, which were empty. 

He couldn't help but grin, Mr big man, high alcohol tolerance Michael hadn't taken the altitude into account as he'd sucked back the little bottles. He also decided that some teasing and maybe a few probing questions couldn't hurt, it felt a little like payback, "I'm gonna be your what?"

"My kid! You're so sweet, Crystal and I are gonna keep you," his hand was on Calum's shoulder as he spoke, patting it a little too firmly as he nodded along to his own comment. 

"Is that so? Don't you think I'm a bit old to be your kid?" He held back his chuckle, but the smile on his face wouldn't budge. 

"Nah, I'd let you be my brother in law but Ashton's too old for you, and Luke and Sierra seem pretty serious so we're gonna adopt you into the family. You gotta be in here somehow, that way you'll be looked after forever," 

Calum spoke again without thinking, "Crystal's more than five years older than you though," his tone was a touch defensive, even he could hear it, but Michael most likely couldn't, at least he hoped. 

"Yeah but you're a nice kid, and Ashton's old and gross, you should see some of the guys he gets with in LA," his hand was still on Calum's shoulder, but the patting had stopped, and his eyes were fixed on a point just next to his ear as if other more important thoughts were happening behind his somewhat vacant eyes. 

"Young guys? Why in LA?" He hoped Michael wouldn't remember how interested he had seemed. Hopefully, it would be glazed over in his embarrassment. 

"Don't know just doesn't normally sleep with people on tour, I mean I'd know I normally share a room with him. The guys, well they're not just young they're-" he paused looking for his word, " they're all twinks, is that the word twinks? Does the word twinks have anything to do with twinkies? Like the food? Or like when Mrs Gellar tells Monica that Richard has a twinkie in the city," 

"Uh, I don't know Mike. Are you saying I can't marry Ashton because he's- he's a slut?"

"No, he just, I don't know, he's not good enough for you. Doesn't matter though, because you're my kid now, and you can't marry your uncle," The hand finally left his shoulder, as he gave Calum a matter-of-fact look. 

Calum decided this wasn't fun anymore, "why don't we get you some water, huh? Maybe some coffee?"

Michael swallowed strangely, closing his eyes, "yeah, okay that sounds good," 

It didn't take long for Michael to sober up, after all it was only three and bit shots worth of vodka he'd had. The flight attendant didn't seem overly impressed with Michael and Calum imagined he'd had a time convincing her he could handle two bottles, and now he'd proved her point. After that, he'd fallen asleep on Calum's shoulder for nearly an hour. Calum wasn't able to sleep himself, so he spent the time agonising over Michael's words, and what had prompted him to wake him up in the first place.

He hadn't made much more sense of it by the time Michael woke up, and it only took him a minute or two before he groaned loudly in realisation, "fuck me, why am I such a dumbass?" 

Calum chuckled, his mind nervous, please let him be too embarrassed to think about what Calum had said "we've all done it before," 

"Please don't tell Ashton what I said, I didn't mean that. I meant that he has a certain lifestyle and he wouldn't want to give that up; I didn't mean that because he slept around that made him a bad person," he told Calum in hushed whispers. "Fuck all of that was so weird, I'm not going to try fucking adult adopting you-"

"I think it's called kidnapping," Calum said giving him a sly smile. 

Michael chuckled and sighed again, another groan came and then he began to clarify, "I just I wanted you to know that you're our friend, we aren't just going to dump you once this is over. Like it's not just a job, okay? We've been wracking our brains trying to decide what to do, but something will be done. Ugh- why do I always get drunk and try and express myself and just fuck it up so badly?"

Calum reassured him he knew what he meant but didn't think it was right to mention the adoption was the least of his worries right now. 


	23. 2.1

**_[22nd of November - Los Angeles]_ **

They'd only been back a little over a day, and Ashton and Calum had already been down to their local planned parenthood (separately of course) and gotten tested. Ashton had gone first, and when he came back to the house he'd seemed relaxed, they hadn't spoken for long before Calum had headed off on his own adventure. He'd had been tested three or four times in his life, so it didn't bother him all that much, and the whole thing didn't take him that long either. 

He'd had a thought brewing, vaguely in the back of his mind since Ashton had first mentioned getting tested, and the more he'd spoken about them finally having some privacy the more the thought had grown into a fantasy. So before he caught an uber home he made a stop off at a nondescript sex store somewhere in Culver City, he left through the back entrance with a medium-sized bag and a headful of dreams. 

When he got back to Ashton's place, the other was laying across the couch, waiting for him to return. He didn't get up when Calum entered though, instead, staying on the couch for him to come closer. His neck was hung over the arm of the couch looking at the other upside down, but that didn't stop him from noticing the indistinguishable (which made it so very distinguishable) black bag hanging from his hand. 

He flipped himself over onto his stomach almost immediately, "what have you got there, sweet, sweet Calum," a wicked grinning on his face. 

"One is for now. If you're up for it, and the other is for another time," he said, finishing with a soft knowing smile. 

This seemed to peak Ashton's interest, in the little time they'd known each other Calum had very rarely laid down any hard and fast rules or really expressed what he wanted in any serious way, except maybe when they argued. He thought that this would either make or break whatever was going on between them, Ashton either needed to be in control all the time, or he was okay with a little bit of unknown. 

"As long as you don't have a monster dildo in there or, or a gimp suit, I think I should be fine with it," Ashton told him thoughtfully before grinning. 

"Okay clothes off then," Calum stripped quickly as well, before fishing a hand into the black bag and taking out a fresh bottle of lube and the small gift he'd bought for Ashton. When he turned around, Ashton was standing waiting eagerly as his hungry eyes focused in on Calum's body. "Back on the couch," Calum said before adding, "as long as you don't mind it getting a little messy," 

Ashton complied, "we could fuck on my clean laundry, and I wouldn't care," 

Calum laughed lightly before climbing atop Ashton's thighs, "this is for you because you always seem to be in a hurry," he told Ashton holding up an adjustable silicone cock ring. Ashton's eyes widened slightly, but he nodded, licking his lips slightly. "And I want us to have a safe word; I have something I want to try," Calum told him. 

"I trust you, it's fine," Ashton told him earnestly, and something tugged in Calum's stomach. 

"That's lovely, but I won't feel okay doing anything unless I know you have control," he leant down kissing Ashton's neck and feeling, his hardening cock brush against his stomach. Then he pulled back making meaningful eye contact. 

"Origami," Ashton said. 

"Oragami?"

"Yes, that's the safe word," he told him firmly, before hesitating a moment, "you're aren't going to take my bottom virginity, are you?" 

"No, I wouldn't do that without asking first," Calum told him sweetly, his mind reeling, Ashton had never bottomed before? What the fuck. "Also, I know we just got tested but, I don't wanna wait, I promise, swear to god, I haven't slept with anyone since I last got tested, except you of course," 

"I-I've slept with quite a few people-" Ashton started sheepishly. 

Calum shook his head, "You always use a condom right?" he nodded quickly, "good enough for me if it's good enough for you," 

"Seriously? That's it? You'll just take my word." 

"You were just about to let me do whatever I wanted to you without a safe word, so we're both a little dumb," Calum chuckled leaning down to place a kiss, a kiss that after he'd given it he realised was far too tender and emotive on Ashton's lips. 

"I guess I'm all yours then," Ashton told him, his eyes locking meaningfully with Calum's and he couldn't help but fucking blush, like always. 

Calum broke their eye contact and turned his attention to Ashton's now very hard cock. He picked up the lube from where he'd dropped it next to the other's stomach and pumped a small amount into his hand before taking Ashton's member in hand and working it slowly a few times before remembering the cock ring he'd also dropped. He gently fastened it around Ashton's cock and balls, finally looking up and asking him if it felt okay with a raised eyebrow. The nod he received in response was enough for him to slowly start working both their cocks in each of his hands.

He worked them both slowly, unable to keep two different paces going. Ashton was already whining and trying to fuck up into his hand as he continued languidly. He slowed right down massaging just below the head with his pointer finger and thumb gently; more gasps came from Ashton and Calum couldn't help but smirk satisfied. The older man was always in a hurry, fucking into him like if he didn't come in the next five minutes, he might die. Which was great when they were on tour, but Calum was kind of in love- in like? Infatuated? That was probably the closest- with him, and he wanted something, longer, more tender and it seemed he wasn't going to get it unless he made it happen.

He finally let go of their cocks, feeling Ashton was getting a little too worked up already, " tell me if you feel like you're going to cum," he told him before standing up and stretching his legs out. Flexing them up a few times each trying to fight off the cramps he could feel coming. He took the lube in his hand and again. He leant over slightly supporting himself on the couch before reaching back and running a lubed finger over his hole a few times before inserting one digit quickly, pressing around gently before pulling it back out.

"What are you doing? I can open you up if you need," Ashton asked, he looked his tone eager and his eyes making him look as though he might start drooling if the younger man turned around. 

"Checking I'm still open from this morning," Calum told him, ignoring the offer.

Ashton groaned lowly, and Calum chuckled, climbing back on top of him, this time sitting across his abdomen and getting up on his knees. He gently lined himself up on Ashton's cock, slowly sliding down, feeling almost no resistance. The older man moaned at the sensation, and his hands found Calum's hips, his fingertips digging in firmly.

Calum slowly brought himself, up and down on Ashton's cock over and over again. He even found the pace achingly slow himself, but the way the other's hands were holding his hips so tightly and the gasps and moans that kept leaving him were worth it. Calum carefully avoided his own prostate, continuing to ride him at the achingly slow speed, watching Ashton who's eyes were screwed shut as he held himself back from bucking up over and over again. 

"I think I'm going to come," he said quickly. 

Calum stopped, pulling himself off Ashton, waiting until his eyes opened and his breathing slowed again. He gave him a few minutes more after that, looking over Ashton's cock that looked bigger than usual and the head looked swollen and tender. His own cock was aching feeling neglected, he couldn't hold out much longer, "okay?" he asked, and got another simple nod in response. 

Calum sank himself back down again, this time speeding up his pace and starting to hit his prostate, finally letting loud moans tumble from his lips. He forced himself to slow down, rotating his hips in skilful circles, as he reached forward with a hand bringing it down gently around Ashton's throat. Before he could ask the man under him was nodding, and Calum started to squeeze the sides of his throat. Working himself on Ashton's cock again but kept his eyes laser-focused on Ashton's face for any sign of distress. His eyes were closed again as he gasped and moaned; Calum let himself relax a little more enjoying himself more as he felt Ashton's hips bucking into him and he moaned loudly the other's big hands gripping desperately at his back. He took the pressure off the older man's throat, giving it a few moments, before tightening his hand again. They stayed like this, Calum riding him as best he could while keeping an attentive eye on Ashton's face. Which was entirely blissed out, letting moans and gasps tumble from his lips. Calum knew it must have been near agony for him, sure he'd never taken this long to come in his life. He quickened his pace a little, sure that after this he'd be able to appreciate that sometimes taking a little more time got better results. 

"You feel so good Ash; you fill me up so good," Calum praised. 

"I'm gonna come, please," Ashton pleaded, and he stopped, his hand left Ashton's throat and reached back loosening the ring. Ashton started to fuck up into him fast, and he was hitting Calum's prostate over and over, it took all of his strength not to collapse into his chest instead, letting their lips meet. Their mouths wouldn't fit together as Ashton's thrusts shifted Calum again and again but it didn't interrupt their attempts, teeth knocking at times and nearly biting one another amidst moans until Ashton came with a shudder. Moaning into his mouth, breaking away to gasp as his orgasm rippled through him, his fingers clutching hard at Calum's back and he could swear Ashton's eyes nearly rolled back into his head. 

"Fuck! Calum!" 

Calum could feel him coming inside him, and it was almost so good he forgot he hadn't come yet. The warmth spreading inside him and the last few spurts had him reeling, he hadn't wanted to tell Ashton, but he'd never let someone come inside him before, and the feeling was new and kind of intoxicating. A weird and strangely erotic invasive thought entered his mind, _He wants me to have his babies._

"I've never come so hard in my life, holy fuck," Ashton panted pulling Calum down tight against his chest and searching for his lips, "that was insane," he mumbled against his mouth, kissing him lazily, seemingly only half-conscious. 

Calum whined, pressing his hard cock against Ashton's stomach. He knew if he didn't press the matter, there was a good chance Ashton was going to fall asleep. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry," he mumbled as his lips ghosted across Calum's cheek and he pushed him up, reaching down to grab his T-shirt off the floor. "Lie down on your back; I'll help you finish," 

He gingerly raised himself off Ashton's softening cock, the older man wiped his cock quickly and then laid the t-shirt down on the couch for Calum to sit on. He spread his legs slightly; his knees bent to, he could still fit on the narrow couch. As he opened them, he felt Ashton's come slowly dribble out of him and he could hear him take a quiet, intake of breath before moaning. 

He knelt in front of him, his large hand coming down to sit on Calum's stomach, his thumb stroking back and forth. "Thought it would go a little differently the first time, you look so good though," his other hand gently pulled at Calum's sensitive, puffy rim, his eyes watching intently as a little more leaked out. "Can feel it in here can't you?" Ashton asked, lightly drumming the fingers that rested on Calum's stomach. 

The moans Calum had been holding in came out soft and whiny as he nodded vigorously, "Please Ash, wanna come," he couldn't even fight the blush that came with the words. 

"But you had so much fun making me wait," Ashton told him grinning. 

"I had to wait that whole time too," he glared, his brows deeply furrowed. 

Ashton's smile widened, and he nodded, "okay, okay," and he reached for the lube again. 

He lubed up two fingers on one hand and the palm of the other, taking Calum's cock in hand and beginning to work it, the other two fingers slipping back inside him. They gently massaged his prostate as he worked his cock in tandem. Moans and whimpers left him, and when Ashton hit his prostate just right he sat bolt right up, and his hands reflexively reached out for Ashton's hair that was nestled between his legs as he worked. His fingers threaded into it far too tightly as he worked the same spot over and over until Calum was coming with a whimpered sigh of relief. 

Ashton pulled back, screwing his face up, and Calum realised he'd gotten a small bit of spunk on his face. Calum leaned over and wiped the come carefully from his cheek, then licking it quickly off his own thumb. Ashton was still watching him mesmerised until he realised he still had two fingers inside him and pulled them out, he held his hand up not knowing where to wipe the mixture of lube and come. He nudged them against Calum's lips and he took them in sucking them clean quickly so he could draw them out of his mouth and connect their mouths. Kissing slow and soft for a few moments before they pulled back. 

"It's never been that good right? I'm not just imagining," Ashton asked incredulously. 

Calum shook his head, "We've never had enough time for it to be that good. If it were that good all the time I'd have myself superglued to your cock," Calum chuckled, testing his legs slowly as he started to stand. 

Ashton's nose crinkled a little as he grinned, "Made me realise that maybe you're not always a bottom either, for a second there I thought you were gonna go for my ass," he chuckled happily. 

"I only bottom for creepy older dudes," Calum told him cheekily before, heading straight for the kitchen, taking the t-shirt with him, wiping at his arse and cock as he went. 

"I'm not that old!" Ashton called after him. 

Calum laughed, "Okay, okay old man, I'm making a sandwich, do you want one?" 

"Yes please," Ashton told him, coming through the kitchen door only a moment later. 

"Do you want sourdough? Or do you need the wholegrain for fibre?" 


	24. 2.2

**_[23rd of November - Los Angeles]_ **

"So this seasoned carrot is supposed to taste like bacon?" Ashton asked sceptically, his chin rested on Calum's shoulder, but his eyes watched the carrots being turned.

"Kind of, it's tasty don't worry you'll like it," he was nervous, this was a bit too domestic, Calum needed Ashton to pull down his sweats and try to suck his cock or he was going to let himself enjoy this too much. "Can you make some toast please?" this would get some distance.

Ashton hummed and disappeared behind him, he could hear him singing quietly to himself as he got bread and spreads. Somehow this was worse, singing to himself, the level of comfort, it was all too much, it felt like exactly the type of relationship he could so easily slip into.

This was the exact opposite problem than what he thought he'd have. He'd imagined them sitting on opposite ends of the house all day only seeing each other as they passed by or sat in silence in front of the television. The exception being when they sought one another out to fuck, loudly and sloppily on some surface.

It was so much worse, he was kind, thoughtful even and wanted to spend time with Calum, even though they'd been on tour, in each others space for the last month. Not a single soul had come to visit Ashton either. Calum knew he had friends, other... lovers, Luke and Michael had pretty much confirmed it. No one had visited though. Was he hiding them from Calum or Calum from them?

The thoughts were trudging through his mind, slowing down any more important thoughts in their wake, for example, _it's time to pull the carrot out of the pan_. By the time the thought clicked into place the carrots were still okay but far crispier than he'd intended. He laid them on a piece of paper towel drying the oil from them carefully.

Then Ashton reappeared four slices of toast in hand and a proud grin on his face as he laid them across their plates. His hair was flopping down into his eyes and he seemed to bound around the kitchen collecting condiments and cutlery. When he stopped again in front of Calum the younger man couldn't help but reach out and push the hair straight back the way Ashton often did. When his eyes shifted up to meet his, Calum expected, anger or confusion but instead was meant with crinkles in the corner and what his love-addled brain described as stars.

He was so royally fucked.   
  
  


After breakfast, Calum had disappeared feining he was apartment hunting, which had been a mistake because Ashton had come in fifteen or so minutes later and offered to help him search. He couldn't shake him, not that he wasn't enjoying the attention but he needed a moment to sit and process this new person in front of him. He hadn't had a chance all day and he wasn't going to get it soon either because Ashton reappeared reminding him they were going to lunch with Luke and Sierra and to hurry up.

Then there was the drive to Cafe Habana which was in Malibu, it was a considerable drive and Ashton chatted away, pointing things out as they drove completely unaware Calum's head was reeling.

Who was KayKay? Why did Luke think Ashton would be calling her? What did the boys mean by all the comments they'd made about his sex habits? He hadn't been all that worried about any of it until yesterday afternoon. Ashton wasn't treating him the same anymore, and he couldn't figure out why, was it just because he was in a better mood now that he was back at his place? The biggest question he had was would things go back to normal after they were back on tour? He couldn't even sit with any of the thoughts long enough to come up with anything meaningful as an answer or an excuse.

Because they were already pulling into a parking space and Ashton had finished his story about getting lost with a friend at the malibu pier.

"Luke said he and Sierra have a table on the verandah," Ashton told him, climbing out of the car and Calum had to cut though his brain fog to realise he needed to follow him.

When they found the others Sierra got up and gave them both a hug, Ashton first and then Calum who she hugged tightly as if they were old friends and pulled him into the seat next to her. Luke gave him a knowing look as if to say 'I can't help you now'.

"So, have you gone anywhere interesting? Luke said you hadn't been here much, I tried to convince him we should take you sightseeing one day, but apparently you're tired," she told him happily, rolling her eyes.

"Uh, no honestly I've just been trying to catch up on sleep and emails, I'm also supposed to be looking for an apartment here, all my stuff is in my parents' garage back home," Calum explained, trying to let his eyes drift over the boys to see If they were listening, they seemed lost in their own conversation on the other side of the table, both talking animatedly.

"Luke didn't say you were moving, where are you looking?" She was shifting her cutlery and glass around on the table and the fact that her eyes weren't trained on him made him somehow more nervous, he really wanted Sierra to like him. Luke seemed entirely enamoured with her and Calum liked Luke, but he had a feeling if she decided that she didn't like him he'd be unlikely to hang out with Luke much. Significant other's tended to have that kind of power.

"Well, I was supposed to be moving into a new apartment right now, and you know getting set up but things have changed so I'm not really looking anywhere in particular now just somewhere cheap," he chuckled, trying to seem as unaffected as possible.

"Ahhhh, I see sorry about that-"

"Have you heard from them at all?" Luke interrupted, he wasn't sure if the boys had paused their conversation and he hadn't noticed or if Luke had just been listening intently moderating the conversation topics.

He held back a sigh, "Only from Rachael and not in any official capacity, she called a couple of days ago to check up on me and see if I had time to catch up before we left. I mostly think she just feels bad, ya know?"

"I'm sure it's more than that, she's still your friend," Sierra reassured.

Luke's brow creased, "I'm surprised, I didn't think you spoke to them all that much after they told you. When did they get you to sign the paperwork and all that?"

Calum blushed, " We didn't have anything to discuss, not really, we haven't recorded anything together and the record deal wasn't getting signed until we went into the office here. It was their band before it was mine, there's not really a lot of it I'm tied up in," he admitted the blush intensifying as he went.

"The perfect time to get rid of someone," Luke said thoughtfully, before snapping his head up, "I didn't mean-"

"I get what you mean, and it's true, I'm sure they had a long talk about it and realised that if there was a time to change anything it was now," Calum shrugged, "just wish they'd proposed it as more of a question, I would have agreed anyway, I just would have had more time to think about what comes next," he admitted.

Sierra put her small hand on top of his much larger one, drawing his attention back to her, "I know how it feels, I know it happened a little differently for me but it's really hard having to walk away from something you love and have been wrapped up in and realise you're going to have to do the hard work to get an opportunity like that again,"

A soft smile broke onto his face, that was by far the most comforting thing anyone had told him. Everyone was so wrapped up in trying to reassure him but reassurances from people who'd never been in that position felt empty. This, however, made him hopeful even if he knew the hard work part was going to be true.

"And either way, hanging out with us can't be all that bad right?" Luke asked cheerily.

Ashton finally chimed in, "great exposure being seen in a band with _the_ Ashton Irwin," he continued with what Calum considered to be a somewhat tactless comment, "Not so great being seen as the guy who took Angus Shepard's place though to be fair,"

He thought that sometimes Ashton could be pretty oblivious, but he was sure he had to know Luke wasn't dealing with it all that well. Then again his bluntness might just be his own way of dealing with it, Calum shot Ashton a serious look nonetheless and Sierra reached her hand across the table to Luke, who took it and gave her a smile.

"That's the next task at hand I suppose, been talking in circles about that for what feels like forever. Got about eight different people trying to tell us what we should do to distance ourselves from him. It's not going to do anything, he's been trending on twitter since it happened, and anyone who doesn't know who he is, just googles his name and boom, ' _former Bass player for Tempted Timeless_ '," Luke sighed.

"Well, I think out of everyone here Luke and I deserve a drink the most," Calum declared, raising his hand at a passing server.

"I've gotta drive home-" Luke tried.

Sierra put a stop to it quickly, "I'll drive, just relax,"

It only took a few and Luke seemed to forget how stressed he was, but they didn't stop there. Ashton and Sierra egged them on, so they were just as much to blame. Calum got the distinct feeling that she was worried about Luke, and his heart warmed realising the guy who was always taking care of everyone else did have someone who was looking out for him too. He tried to synthesis this thought at the time but it ended up instead, being him telling Sierra she was very kind and kissing her on the forehead several times, very wet and sloppily.

Luke pulled him off her and announced to the now dwindling number of other patrons that they needed to get Calum laid, because 'he's getting so horny he's turning straight'. The very late lunch ended with the pair planning a sleepover but Ashton intervened on Sierra's behalf and picked Luke up and put him the car for her and they drove off with the child locks on.

"I don't need to pick you up and carry you too, do I?" Ashton had asked, and Calum had apparently stared blankly for too long because he spoke again, "Calum," he said firmly, "are you going to behave?" that Calum understood and he sat down on the parking lot asphalt. Ashton sighed, "you're lucky you're cute, cause not once yet have you looked after me drunk, this seems unfair,"

"Dealt with drunk Michael though," Calum told him proudly, trying to lay down but Ashton had him under the armpits before he could get far, "drunk Michael's funny, he told me you're a slut," Calum laughed.

"Well, we both already knew that," Ashton chuckled, "c'mon, get up, we need to get you home."


	25. 2.3

**_[25th of November - Los Angeles]_ **

**_CW- Hi more smut! With maybe some dirty talk some of y'all might not fuck with. Use your own discretion with this one again, but nothing super important happens._ **

"Okay, so how long does it have to stay on for?" Ashton asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at his hard cock, hidden in a silicone-filled, plastic sheathe. 

"Just a minute or so more," Calum told him as he checked the timer on his phone. He sighed, looking around the bathroom, it was a pigstye. Ashton's sweatpants and shirt were in one corner, with little bits of the silicone still stuck to them. His underwear was on the tap, and there were little bits of silicone that had already hardened on the floor in random places. Thankfully the dirty old towels they'd put down around the chair Ashton was sitting in were all perfectly clean. 

He had a feeling Ashton wasn't going to let him forget how much of a mess this experience had made. The older man hadn't been all that keen on the idea of a make your own dildo kit in the first place. He'd had a million questions, which if Calum were more famous maybe he'd be worried about himself. Questions like, 'Why do you need a dildo of my cock?' and more general ones which Calum hadn't really thought about at all like 'What if it gets stuck on my cock?'. 

He'd soothed him mostly by explaining that he promised any time he used Ashton would be there or he'd get photos, he'd also had to assure that it wouldn't be used on anyone else and no one would ever know who's cock it was a mould of. No one he knew would believe he had an Ashton Irwin dildo even if he showed them. 

"Okay, it can come off now," Calum told him, pulling gently at the tube, which once it had been wiggled a little slipped off easily. He took a curious glance at the inside of the mould, impressed with their handiwork and a little curious as to what Ashton's cock was going to look like in purple. He left it on the counter to finish drying, he whipped around when he heard a loud thundering noise, but realised it was just Ashton dramatically pulling the garbage bag he'd been using to catch the excess away. 

Ashton shifted uncomfortably despite his member now being free, "so you're going to deal with this as well aren't you? I feel like I deserve at least that for agreeing to this,"

Calum chuckled, "I suppose you're right, I was just going to leave for Michael and Crystal's, but I'll take care of this first," 

He knelt down in front of the kitchen chair they'd dragged in, giving an amused sigh, then spitting in his hand and giving Ashton a few strokes, he took him into his mouth. He sucked on the tender head before starting to bob shallowly, his hand working the base slowly. Ashton pulled the hand away gently, sitting forward in the chair slightly and using his hand to guide his cock in and out of Calum's lips steadily. His pace was slow, and his eyes were burning into Calum's head as he watched his dick disappear behind the pillowy lips again and again. Ashton pulled his cock back against Calum's quickly swelling, his eyes now locked with Calum's as he rubbed the head across his them, his hand gently holding his chin. 

"Didn't take much to convince you, you love sucking cock, don't you?" Ashton asked him quietly, his thumb rubbing gently against the side of his chin. Calum's jaw went slack, and his lips parted the rest of the way. Ashton started to slide his cock in and out slowly again, "like to be used, don't you?"

Ashton knew precisely what he was doing, coaxing a nod from Calum, who's dick was hardening at the words. He kept his tongue flat in his mouth, letting Ashton use it to fuck into leisurely, their eyes still holding one another's and Calum's dick growing harder and harder. Ashton drew back again, wiping small amounts of pre-come on Calum's lips. Calum could feel it and felt the urge to dart his tongue out and lick it away, but the other's member was blocking his access. Instead, he let his tongue swipe out over the head of his cock. 

Ashton groaned, "Just love cock, you'd let me fuck your mouth whenever I wanted you're so needy for it," Calum groaned around him as he started to fuck into his mouth again, this time faster but still shallow, and Calum remained as still as he could. "Such a good cock slut, bet you're getting turned on just from this," Calum felt his cheeks flush but was sure Ashton wouldn't be able to tell. 

He drew back slightly, telling Calum "suck," and Calum created a seal with his lips again, working the length, deeper and sloppier than when he'd started, feeling his own erection aching in his pants, he used his free hand to palm himself through his sweatpants.

He could feel the tip of Ashton's cock touching the back of his throat every time he went too deep, his eyes watering slightly at the sensation, but he had a point to prove to Ashton. He could take it deeper than he was giving it. He kept going, as deep as he could without gagging over and over, letting his tongue press against the underside. Eventually, the older man pulled back, his hand coming to the side of Calum's face and wiping lightly at the tears collecting in the corner of his eyes. Calum pressed up wanting to connect their lips and Ashton indulged him in a peck. When he drew back, he looked down at Calum who had started palming himself through his sweats again.

"C'mon, you can rub your cock," he gave Calum another quick kiss before letting go of his face. The other took the queue to reach his hand into his pants and start to work himself before opening his mouth for Ashton to continue. "You're such a slut for it, aren't you? Bet Michael would love to know you're a slut too," Calum nodded as carefully as he could, not wanting to knock Ashton with his teeth as he took him in again, his eyes watching to see the expressions on his face. "Such a cock slut, surprised you haven't offered to suck Michael and Luke off, you love it so much," Ashton hummed, his eyes flicking open to meet Calum's. Who shook his head, quickly, almost letting his teeth scrape against Ashton's cock. "No? Don't lie; you'd love to have their dick's in your mouth, bet it makes you hard just thinking about it," he combed Calum's hair back as he spoke eyeing the younger boy hungrily.

Calum shook his head again, a deep blush creeping up his neck, he started to suck again, running his tongue up and down as best he could while he fucked into his own hand. "Don't just want them in your mouth, do you? You're so good, would be a shame not so share you, c'mon make me come, know you want it,"

He moaned, around Ashton's cock, his eyes screwing shut as his orgasm built. A few more sloppy strokes and Ashton pulled his cock free, coming on Calum's red and swollen lips. Calum moaned at the feeling, and in a few strokes he came all over the inside of his sweatpants, It might have bothered him more if they weren't Ashton's or if he'd had a moment to think before Ashton tugged him up off the floor and onto his lap. Kissing him deeply, licking the bitter fluid into their mouths, one hand holding his waist tightly and the other his cheek. Calum's own hands were the only thing stopping himself from completely collapsing into the older man as he continued to lick into his mouth, breathing heavily against his cheek.

He realised as he was mentally planning to pull away and bend over the counter that he needed to have left for Michael's fifteen minutes ago. He pulled back from Ashton begrudgingly."I've gotta get ready and go to Michael's, I promised I'd meet Crystal, and I won't have time tomorrow, we'll all be packing" Calum told him trying to rise, already getting uncomfortable in the wet sweats as he came back to reality.

Ashton attempted to stop him with a gentle tug on his elbow, but eventually, he sighed, "okay, take my car at least?"

Calum stood, taking a few steps back, "I can't take your car!" he protested and began to strip out of his clothes hurriedly. 

Ashton stood holding out his hands to catch the clothes as Calum tossed them, "It already has Michael's address in the favourites, and Uber's in LA are sketchy as hell," he reasoned, turning from Calum to start picking everything else up off the floor.

"No, they're not," Calum said, giving a stern look to his back before climbing in under the shower spray.

Ashton sighed turning to face him, "Okay, they're not but just take my car it'll make me feel better,"

"Ugh, fine, but if anything happens to it, it's your fault, you made me!"

He chuckled, "Alright sounds fair, I'm just going to clean up in here, do you want me to grab you some clothes?"

Calum faltered for a second being drawn back into his fears from just a few days earlier, this was too familiar, "Uh, um, yeah please, just jeans and a t-shirt thanks,"

Ashton did as he said and continued around the room, picking up the garbage bag and picking dried silicone off the tiles. Calum washed his hair and his pits, wanting to make sure he didn't smell a thing like Ashton, his thoughts began to do what they often did these days as soon as he had a moment to think, they raced, and he found himself turning to ask Ashton a question through the open shower door.

"Do you really want Luke or Michael to fuck me?" the question didn't come out the way he'd thought it in his head, but he knew Ashton would understand.

Ashton stopped where he was squatted on the ground and looked up, thoughtful for a moment, he put whatever it was that was in his hands down and he stood the thoughtful look still on his face. "I don't know if I'd put it like that," he said moving toward the open door, he stood in the doorway hands holding the glass, it might have been scary if Calum didn't know Ashton. "I can imagine you taking really good care of Luke, you'd ruin him," he told him casually, and Calum blushed, choosing to hide his face under the shower spray.

Another question, one he'd always wanted answered, bubbled to the surface, "Did you and Luke ever?" he left it there, ambiguous.

"Luke and I have been friends for a long time, touring together almost as long, 19 and 21-year-olds can be horny creatures, you'd know that," Ashton told him, obviously choosing ambiguity as well. He didn't seem bothered by the question but continued his thought from before, "Michael though, the thought of him having you pressed up against a wall, I can't explain it, it's just so hot,"

"You know I wasn't a virgin before I met you?" Calum asked teasingly, "other men have had me pressed up against walls before," he laughed lightly.

"I know that that's not the same though, doesn't do anything for me," he seemed to think for a moment, "something about me knowing the other guy is the part I like,"

"Have you ever just watched before?" Calum asked quietly, slightly worried Ashton would take it the wrong way.

Ashton continued on in the conversational tone he'd had before, seemingly unaffected by any of the implications of the question. "Never really had the urge to before now, I guess that's one of the many good things about us, get to spend a little more time trying things out," he reached a hand under the spray and guided Calum's face closer to him, their lips not even an inch from one another, Calum leaned in just slightly waiting for Ashton to meet him, "aren't you supposed to be getting ready to go to Michael's?" he asked quietly, pulling back and letting a grin stretch across his face.

Calum groaned, "Just go get me my damn clothes," he went to pull himself back under the spray, but Ashton stopped him giving him a peck on the lips before pulling back and giving him another cheeky grin. 

By the time he'd actually managed to leave the house, the sun was setting, and Ashton was doing yoga outside in the last of the days sunshine. Calum had driven to Michael's slightly under the speed limit the entire time and so overly conscious of the fact that this wasn't his car, he had flinched at a parked car.   
  
When he'd pulled up at the gate, it had opened almost immediately, Calum not even having a chance to reach out the window and press the call button. They were all standing outside on the lawn when he drove in. Michael, with his arm around Crystal's waist, her with a loose arm slung around his shoulder and a hand up to block out the glare from the last of the day's sun. The dogs sitting and watching. They looked like a greeting card, _Hello from the Cliffords in sunny Southern California!_

"Sorry I'm so late, the day just got away from me," Calum apologised as he climbed out of the driver's side. 

Crystal left Michael's side and enveloped him in a warm hug, "Don't be stupid! He's been inside playing Animal Crossing all day, and I've been washing Southy, haven't I?" she asked, letting go of Calum and turning to talk to the happy little dog waiting at her heels. "We're having leftover pasta if you want to stay for dinner?" Crystal asked, drawing her attention back to Calum. 

"How'd you con Ashton into letting you drive his car?"Michael asked chuckling as he turned to lead everyone back into the house. 

Calum didn't think 'a stellar blowjob' was an appropriate response and instead went with the first lie that came to him, "been some random people around the front of the house all afternoon, said it was best not to walk outside or something," 

"He seems to get a lot of weirdos over his way," Michael said dismissively, "Still surprised he let you drive it, that thing sits under the car cover most of its life,"

"You're gonna make him too nervous to drive home," Crystal scolded and shot Calum a small smile. 

Michael rolled his eyes, "C'mon Cal; I'll let you two gang up on me later, I want you to come have a look at something," 

Calum raised his eyebrows at Crystal but followed Michael as he led him past the living room, which was much warmer and homey than Ashton's, but the style was still eerily similar and into the hall. At the very end, Michael stopped and opened the door, stepping back to let Calum through. When he stepped in he saw that it was a small recording studio, it wasn't particularly distinctive compared to any other's he'd been in except that it was inside someone's house. 

His attention was drawn to a desk in the corner a little ways away from everything else and under a gorgeous window, which he assumed during the day caught the natural light. Michael pulled a piece of paper from the well-worn stack next to the laptop on the table.

"Can you have a look at this for me? I normally show everything to Ashton and Luke first, but I don't know, this feels like a different sound, and I just wanna get an idea of if its any good before I take it to them," he said, rambling a little as he held out the paper for Calum to take. 

He was in stunned silence for a few moments, "Uh, yeah, of course, I'm super flattered you'd ask," he shifted past Michael a little awkwardly and took a seat at the table, the older man stepped away, fiddling with things behind Calum, clearly trying to seem like he wasn't looming. 

Calum read through it a few times, before going back and reading the chords Michael had written above the writing, trying to sound it out in his head. He sat thoughtfully for a moment, just staring at the paper realising he might never have another moment like this in his life.

"Okay so," 

"Yes?" Michael asked nervously. 

"So, I think you don't need to worry too much about the tone being different if you structure it right, I think a couple of good strong instrumental moments between these two verses," he pointed to the page, "and these here, it could still be different but the band could definitely use it. Beyond it being usable for the album it's gorgeous, I would make sure that someone uses this, it's really lovely," Calum told him honestly, he was in awe. He'd been kind of obsessed with this band when he was younger, and right now he was holding in his hands what could possibly be a song on their new album, and he'd been asked for his opinion on it. This couldn't be real. 

"Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, Ashton and Luke will probably help me work out a guitar riff and drums, well Ash will be all over that like a rash, but I know you've gotta have better ideas for a nice strong bassline than any of us, none of us has that much experience, we can all play but not like you, " Calum blushed deeply as Michael went on describing his idea. He could not believe that Michael thought he was good enough to help them with their album it was beyond bizarre. 

They chatted on the song for another hour or so before Crystal came looking for them, and then Michael began to explain to her what it was they were trying to do, she watched him as he explained and her face looked incredibly fond. He didn't know how they did it, being apart from one another all the time, she looked like she was looking into a night full of stars, how did you get used to that disappearing all the time? He held back a sigh and sunk further into his chair as he watched them. 


	26. North American Tour

** Tempted Timeless **

** 2018/2019 **

** North American Tour **

_With Special Guests_ _Rockknot_

**27th of November - Toronto - Canada**

_29th of November - Uncasville - USA_

**30th of November - Boston - USA**

_1st of December - Allentown - USA_

**2nd of December - Virginia Beach - USA**

_5th of December - Vienna - USA_

**7th of December - Allegan - USA**

_8th of December - Chicago - USA_

**9th of December - Minneapolis - USA**

_11th of December - Rochester Hills - USA  
_

**13th of December - York - USA**

_14th of December - Holmdel - USA_

**11th of January - Orlando - USA**

_12th of January - Atlanta - USA_

**13th of January - Charlotte - USA**

_17th of January - Nashville - USA_

**19th of January - Rogers - USA**

_20th of January - Irving - USA_

**21st of January - Sugar Land - USA**

_23rd of January - Denver - USA_

**25th of January - San Diego - USA**

_26th of January - San Jose - USA_

**27th of January - Seattle - USA  
**

_2nd of February - Phoneix - USA_

**3rd of February - Los Angeles - USA**


	27. 2.4

**_[27th of November - Toronto]_ **

**Ashton Irwin**

_Meet me in the storeroom, two down from the dressing room_

Calum was waiting inside the dressing room, almost certain the other had forgotten he'd sent the message, he'd been waiting for what seemed like forever. He'd even tried scrolling through his phone to bide the time but was too nervous he might see something he didn't want and had instead gone back to sitting on a stack of chairs, his head tilted back as he tried to imagine pictures in the water damage shapes above him. 

So when Ashton had entered he'd nearly jumped out of his skin, "Jesus Christ, couldn't you have made a secret knock or something?" he asked, his hand clutching his chest. 

Ashton rolled his eyes fondly, "Sorry I got stuck talking to Luke, he wanted to discuss some charity festival. It took a bit to get away from him," he moved to stand in front of Calum's throne of plastic chairs as he spoke. Coming in close and letting his breath fan across Calum's neck, then his mouth found Calum's and kissed him slowly, letting his tongue trace across his lips exploratively before passing them and continuing his expedition just as carefully. They kissed deep and slow and Calum found himself following wherever Ashton's lips led, even if that meant Calum sitting on the very edge of his chair. Kissing Ashton was very quickly becoming one of his favourite things to do, so much so that the flare in his chest when he'd brought up Luke was extinguished. 

That was until Ashton drew back and sighed, "Don't know how I'm going to manage on the bus tonight, so used to having a warm body in my bed now," he said it with a fondness in his voice but Calum's brain was working already working overtime.

He internally bristled and had to hold back from rolling his eyes, "you could just have Luke climb in with you, be like old times." He didn't want to be snippy with Ashton, really he didn't. But now that his suspicions about he and Luke had been confirmed the little nagging voice had beome an obnoxious know-it-all at the forefront of his mind. Even if rationally he knew that Luke wasn't a cheater and that this was a ridiculous association to make, his heart was playing havoc with his logic. 

"Someone sounds a little jealous," Ashton singsonged, a grin on his face. 

This time Calum rolled his eyes, but far less fondly than Ashton, "I think I'm allowed to be a little concerned considering I let you fuck me raw every other day," by the time the words were out of his mouth he realised that Ashton might not take kindly to them. He had a feeling, both from observation and Michael's drunken words that Ashton didn't consider himself anyone's, in any sense and the idea that Calum felt in any way that they belonged to one another might lead them down a loud and argumentative track. 

If it bothered him he didn't show it though as he grinned chuckling, "Understandable, you, me, Sierra and Luke with the same strain of Chlamydia might be a little telling," he joked, his face now so close the breath from his low laughter was hitting Calum's neck. "Anyway," he continued, "I didn't come in here to worry you, I came in here to give you my secret to solving pre-concert jitters," 

Calum sighed, "And what would that be?" he asked with all the coyness he could muster. 

Ashton tugged at Calum's wrist, urging him to stand up, his hand dropping as soon as the younger man was on his feet to unbuckle his belt and shimmy his pants and underwear down, "well wanking works pretty well," he told him, spitting in his palm, "but if you've got a willing participant, a blowjob is better," he gave Calum a devious smile, moving up to kiss under his ear, "being fucked into a wall is the recommended treatment, but I know you can't be quiet," 

Calum stifled a moan trying not to prove Ashton's point but failing miserably as the older man started to stroke him steadily. 

"You know, considering all your talk the other day I'm pretty sure you're the one who loves sucking dick, this is how all of this started," Calum told him somewhat breathlessly. 

Ashton shrugged, smiling lightly as he moved down to the ground. He took Calum in almost immediately, sucking vengefully, the younger man nearly choked at the intense sensation. One hand went back to support him on the mound of chairs and the other sat lazily on top of Ashton's head, encouraging him to keep his distance and not curl over and shove his dick as deep as it would go.

The older man made short work of him, not bothering to tease for even a moment until he had Calum coming down his throat with his hand firmly over his mouth, not letting a sound escape. 

Ashton stood, giving Calum a soft kiss, "feeling better now? More relaxed?"

Calum nodded kissing the older man's cheek, his breathing heavy against Ashton's face, "you're such a pro," he complimented, "do you need me to-" 

Ashton cut him off shaking his head gently, "later, we gotta go meet the new opening act," he stepped back, and Calum reflexively reached up fixing his hair back into place and wiping away a small bit of salvia in the corner of his mouth, "thanks," he said, giving Calum a peck on the lips, "you can go first, I'll wait," Calum opened his mouth to make a snippy remark, but Ashton beat him to it, " I know I owe you for making you wait."

Meeting the others was nerve-racking on its own. Calum knew they'd all have an opinion on how he'd gotten his job, and the odds of any of them saying anything rude were slim, they wanted to keep their jobs obviously. That made it worse, though; he just wanted to know what they thought of him, did they think he was just some lucky asshole who was in the right place at the right time? Or did they think he deserved his spot? It didn't matter, he knew that, but he couldn't help the thoughts. And Ashton was on the other side of the room, a few long strides would close the distance, and he could ask him to hold his hand or wrap an arm around his waist, but he couldn't not really. So his feet stayed rooted in place, as uncomfortable as he was that wouldn't fix any of his problems.

Stacey Jones, or Jonsey as Calum had realised everyone called her, was in the middle of loudly telling Michael a story about the flight over and losing a guitar between the airport and the bus. She was probably the chattiest amongst the four new faces, which was hard to do, considering they were all talkative, Munir excluded. Despite coming across a little obnoxious Jonsey was very pretty. Your eyes couldn't help but be drawn to her as she spoke, and it wasn't just because she was pretty, it was the way she spoke. Through wide smiles and the expressiveness of her large mouth, she kept your attention the way a dramatic child or an excited labrador might. She also had strong sculpted eyebrows that enhance her expressions and made her look somewhat comical. Her face was the only part that suggested that though, she was thin and tall with long arms and legs accentuated by the jeans and tank top she wore, if she'd been able to keep her mouth closed and her face serious for a moment she could have been a runway model. Because of this she didn't really fit the lead singer arch type his brain supplied but something about the energy she radiated could tell anyone in the room she was the one used to having most of the attention. 

Another person however kept interjecting with laughs and missing details and that told him immediately who the lead guitarist was. Zahair, Munir's twin, half a glance could tell you they were twins. They were both gorgeous with cool light brown skin and thick, dense hair that sat in identical haircuts. Both were tall, maybe even taller than Stacey if they stood up straight, even their spetum piercings matched, but that was where the resemblance ended. Zahair had a pair of gold stud earrings, but his brother had seem to opt not to get his pierced, Munir was also noticeably broader than the other. Beyond that though, their clothes defined them most clearly, Munir dressed in a dark shirt and jeans with plain vans. Zahair in light washed denim jeans, with a light grey shirt and bright red high tops. Their dispositions seemingly mirrored their clothes where Zahair added to the conversation frequently, and loudly Munir sat quietly on his phone a few metres away, he was quiet for a drummer Calum thought to himself. 

He only really seemed to look up when Sam chimed in with a joke Calum hadn't been listening to. Sam was much broader than the other two men, but he was far shorter than everyone else even at what Calum guessed would be around 5'8 he was noticeably shorter, Calum supposed his fluffy hair might be giving him a little extra height. He also dressed in layers, right now a hoodie with a jacket over the top, which was maybe what made him seem sort of squat. His eyes didn't seem to express much, staying a little too cool for Calum to believe everything he said, but he was a lot like Jonsey in that his mouth was incredibly expressive, smirks and grins, quick to follow witty comments or sly jabs.

The band as a whole had an atmosphere of experience that even when he was a member of Angel and Trinkets Calum could tell they did not yet possess. Something about the familiarity they talked to the others with just didn't sit with him, not to mention they didn't seem all that awed by the fact that they were opening for debatably one of the biggest modern rock bands of their generation. He smiled politely still and laughed at their jokes, but something about all the new faces had all the anxiety Ashton had taken from him mounting again. 

Thankfully they eventually separated going to different dressing rooms, and Calum was able to relax a little again. He'd stared the afternoon on his phone texting old friends from home trying to fight the urge to send a message to Ashton. He was sitting six feet away, and Calum had desperately wanted it to be break again. For him to be sitting on the couch with Ashton, both of them at separate ends talking about whatever it was they were watching, legs tangled in the middle. Ashton shoving his feet under Calum's butt every now and then, 'they're cold' he'd complain, and Calum would roll his eyes but let them stay there. One of them would get up and make snacks, and then Ashton would disappear late in the afternoon to do his yoga, and when he'd come back he'd start making something for dinner, it was always good and vegetarian. 

Thankfully Michael came and sat with him for a little bit before the show, and that helped to distract Calum, they chatted about him possibly trying his hand at a multiplayer game with Michael. He thought he could feel Ashton's eyes on them, but whenever he looked up, the older man was still scrolling through his phone seemingly unphased. 

The rest of the night went well though when they performed that night Michael made a real effort to interact with Calum on stage more, and they had fun, boogying over to one another's sides of the stage and pulling faces, Calum even shimmied at one point. 


	28. 2.5

**_[30th of November - Boston]_ **

Boston was a city Calum knew pretty well, before transferring to another university he had gone to college there at Emerson. He'd transferred after his second year and met the Lesedi and the girls. He'd spent most of his time in his third year being ostracised by their fandom and working incredibly hard on his studies to try and make his transition as easy as possible. They'd planned on being on campus this year and finishing their final year before trying to make something of the band, but they'd gotten an email over the summer with an offer they couldn't refuse, and that series of events had led Calum to exactly this moment.

Which was he and Luke strolling along the river of a city he felt like he knew from another lifetime. Luke asked questions intermittently about Boston and college, even going so far as to ask why Calum had left, as he seemed to like it so much here?

"It was a long way away from my family, and as much as I liked it here, still like it here, I never really felt like I'd set down any roots, it was just a place I was living, you know?" He tried to explain, despite the fact he'd never really known why he was so sure it was time to leave Boston behind.

Luke hummed his understanding, "Do you think LA will be different when you finally move?"

That wasn't a question Calum had wanted to think about, but if he were honest the thought of living in LA, so close to Ashton and knowing that their relationship, whatever it may be would be over, left him with an immense feeling of loneliness. Which he reminded himself he had another three months to work out and just pushed it down, you know the healthy thing to do.

"If I'm busy I'm sure I'll settle in quick enough, that's the key when you move somewhere new," Calum told him, tapping his temple knowingly, Luke chuckled and Calum moved quickly to divert the conversation. "You seem a lot less tense lately, I like this Luke, he's got good vibes," he chuckled.

Luke smiled modestly in response, "Thanks, it's a lot easier to chill out when you don't have a creep for a bassist," he ran his hand through his hair as he spoke, it felt like it came from a nervous place, maybe Luke didn't think he should be saying anything. He pretty much confirmed Calum's suspicions when he lowered the hand but his eyes remained diverted. 

It was quiet for a moment, almost awkward until Calum decided to just ask what he wanted, "so," he began slowly, "you guys knew?"

There was an achingly long moment before Luke responded that Calum was so sure he'd asked the wrong question, "Knew it was only a matter of time," he paused again and Calum thought he was going to leave it at that, but he kept going, "But he hadn't breached his contract, we couldn't have gotten rid of him unless we'd had the money to essentially buy him out, which we would have if we hadn't have kept giving him writing credits for shit he didn't write." They'd come to a stop, and the only reason Calum had even noticed was that Luke had looked down at his shoes for a very long moment. The frustration had been clear in his voice and Calum got the distinct feeling that if they hadn't stopped and Luke hadn't stared holes into his shoes he might have raised his voice like that day Calum had overheard he and Angus from the cupboard.

"We did want him out though. Thought it might give him the kick in the arse he needed to get his act together. We knew we would get so much backlash for it though, there are so many of our fans that really genuinely like him," He shook his head as he spoke but he still didn't make eye contact with Calum, "That was the plan though, ride it out another six months and then when it came time to renew our contract, just refuse. "

Calum was floored, how could things been so close to changing drastically and Angel & Trinkets and himself hadn't even known, Luke finally looked up and Calum's thoughts stopped, waiting for what he would say next, "We were gonna get a new band name and record deal and all that shit but it would have been worth it," He looked at Calum with large sad eyes for a moment before they seemed to harden, "I just feel so guilty, like maybe if we'd been able to get him out of the spotlight sooner he wouldn't have been able to do something like this," he swallowed thickly, shrugging, but his shoulders didn't relax.

He waited a moment to see if Luke would continue before he spoke, trying to choose his words carefully, "I get it, I mean I can understand feeling like that but there was only so much you could do. At the end of the day, you aren't responsible for his actions, you were on him whenever you had the chance, at the time I didn't get it but now, I so understand why you were practically glued to him," he hoped he'd gotten his point across to Luke because seeing him like this was breaking Calum's heart. He should have realised sooner that the man who walked around fixing everyone's problems, feeling responsible for everyone's wellbeing would be feeling like this. 

"I could have spoken up, I should have said something," he declared, he hands now deep in the pockets of his jeans, and Calum could see they were fisted, he was angry with himself.

He hesitated but eventually, he reached an arm around Luke's shoulder and turned them so they were looking at the river again, he let his hand rub his bicep as if he were trying to get him warm. Luke's shoulders softened only marginally but his hands unfurled in his pockets.

"You can't just say you think someone is going to rape someone one day, that's a big accusation to throw around. You were put in a really hard situation to be in and I think you did a lot more than most people would," he paused thinking carefully again before speaking. "I mean no offence to Michael and Ashton in saying this, but you did more than they did, and even they aren't responsible for this. It's really hard to know what the right thing to do is. I think you need to cut yourself some slack, okay?" Calum rubbed the hand on Luke's shoulder up and down again, turning to try and give him a reassuring smile but it faltered when he saw the small tears in the corners of his eyes.

"A bass player who's looking after me? I don't know what to do with myself," Luke said laughing weakly, he reached a hand up to wipe at the corner of his eye, and a few more tears fell free.

"Just remember this when I'm living on your couch next year," Calum told him chuckling softly.

Luke gave him a smile, this one reached his eyes, "don't worry so much, you'll be fine, c'mon," he put a hand on top of the arm across his shoulder and turned them to start walking again.   
  
The conversation seemed to put Luke in a different mood for the rest of the morning. Calum wasn't sure whether it was an improvement or not, he seemed happier but whether it was genuine or an attempt at trying to ease Calum's concern was anyone's guess. 

When they got to the venue in the afternoon, they went their separate ways, Luke to have a conference call along with the other boys and Calum to find something to entertain him in the meantime. 

He tried apartment hunting again but that was something that thoroughly depressed him at the moment so he gave up almost as soon as he had started. Instead, he did something he'd been avoiding like the plague lately, checking social media, more specifically Twitter. His timeline was still littered with Angel & Trinkets accounts that had begged for him to follow them, but now he was sure his follow had significantly dropped in value. It was also bizarre to see them all discussing the album name, which had apparently been announced since his departure. It was strange to learn something about them from social media rather than the band themselves but he supposed he'd have to get used to it now. 

He decided that he needed to look for a better variety of accounts to follow because as it stood his timeline was pretty depressing. Everyone seemed to be over the fact that he'd 'left', the new album title's meaning now hotly debated in place of where he imagined questions about why he'd left and what he planned on doing now had been.

There was now a new wave of mentions, asking if he could follow them as well as an overwhelming number of questions about what touring with Tempted Timeless was like and how he'd decided to stay with them. 

He followed almost everyone that had asked, liked some nice tweets about his playing and a couple of pieces of nice fanart Tempted Timeless fans had done. He was enjoying himself mostly, which was uncommon for him when he used Twitter. 

That was until he stumbled upon an account with a substantial number of followers that had changed their icon to a photo of Calum with a circle and line through it, and their name as ' **ANGUS WILL BE BACK** '. He groaned aloud, _fuck this shit_. But he was sucked in, the way social media seems to always do and he clicked on a few of their tweets to see the responses. 

**@/MagnusTimeless**

_You're joking right? Angus is a fucking creep he can stay gone_

**@/AshisTimeless**

_broke: this ^^_

_woke: Ashton, Michael and Luke seem like they're having way more fun in the few weeks with Calum then the past five years_

**@/TemptedLashton**

_people like you are literally the worst, the whole tour would be cancelled if it weren't for Calum, also I haven't seen the boys like this in years_ 🥺

A small amount of reassurance began to build in him seeing that some people, not all clearly, but some could see that Angus wouldn't and couldn't come back and that Calum had nothing to do with that. The rest of the pre-show he napped away exhausted from the activity of the day.


	29. 2.6

**_[5th December - Vienna]_ **

"Okay so, you take this end and fold it in here, like a forty-five-degree angle, yeah like that and then boom done!" Michael cheered happily as he watched Calum and Luke fold the last tab over. 

The pair held up their butterflies of questionable structural integrity, each looking at the other's and smiling triumphantly at their mutual lack of skill. 

"I didn't even know you were into origami Mike, when did you start?" Luke asked, putting his butterfly down on the table and pushing it toward Calum. Calum gave it an incredulous look before pushing it back. 

"Crystal and I were looking for things to do with our hands while we were watching Netflix and we had all these leftover paper samples from choosing our wedding invites, to be fair it was card and really hard to use, but it's what gave us the idea," Michael told them with a shrug, his eyes focused on his own butterfly he was turning over in his hands. 

Calum had to hold back a smirk, "it's funny that you just got into origami because Ashton did as well while he was home, you should ask him about it," he pulled his phone out to avoid eye contact- if he looked at Michael he was going to lose it. 

"That is a weird coincidence," Luke said, his tone amused as he stood taking his butterfly with him, "I'm going to give Sierra a call, I'll be back before soundcheck,"

Michael and Calum both hummed their understanding, but neither really looked up from their phones as he left. 

**Ashton Irwin**

_You're not in your room, where are you?_

**New Message**

_I went with Michael and Luke; we're at the venue._

**Ashton Irwin**

_Okay, I'm coming over now._

**Ashton Irwin**

_Find us somewhere_

Calum stood without thinking, and Michael's eyes followed him, surprised by his sudden movement. 

"I- I've gotta call my mum," he explained as he pushed his chair back. 

Michael's brow furrowed, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I just realised I haven't called her in a few weeks, she'll be getting worried," he smiled, and his cheeks flushed, feeling ridiculous. 

Trust Ashton to make him lose his senses. 

"Oh, thank god I thought something bad had happened," Michael sighed, before going back to his phone's screen. 

Calum wasn't sure if Michael and Luke were willfully ignorant or if they really were so preoccupied with other thoughts that they didn't notice how often Calum seemed to disappear to nowhere. 

It didn't matter; he took the opportunity to deposit his phone into his back pocket, sliding his poorly crafted butterfly into the other. Now came the question of where could he find a private space for them. He tried to meander as casually as he could through the halls, looking for an empty room that he could be assured would stay that way. A few doors refused to open; others hid piles of chairs or crates full of cables and one opened out into an alleyway. Eventually, though Calum settled on a room almost directly behind the main stage, being that it was one of the few doors he'd found you could lock from the inside. He wasn't sure why it did, but he guessed it must have been a dressing room at one point or another. After that, he got comfortable leaning against some shelving and shooting off a text to Ashton with directions to the small room. 

It didn't take long for the older man to arrive knocking on the door. 

"You were fast," Calum commented as he let him into the room. 

"Snuck in and was waiting for your text, somehow I managed not to be seen by anyone, everyone thinks I'm still at the hotel," Ashton told him happily as pulled the door closed and pressed the lock. 

Calum hummed in what could only be described as aroused approval, "so no one's going to be looking for you until soundcheck?" he asked, wrapping his arms lazily around the other's neck. 

Ashton pecked his lips, pulling back to ask, "not a single soul, does that mean you have terrible, terrible plans for me?" 

"We'll see," Calum said grinning. 

Ashton walked him backward, so he was pressed against the shelving once again, finally letting their lips meet. As always Calum was gone to the world from that moment. Letting the older man press him hard against the shelves without a moments thought to the ache it would cause in his back. He kissed him slow and deep, and if Calum were honest in way nobody else could manage. Maybe when you really liked someone no matter how they kissed was intoxicating, he wasn't really sure, he didn't think he'd ever liked anyone as much as he liked Ashton, so he was well out of his depth. Ashton's kisses were so deliberate, strong and yet so- so- Calum's mind failed him as Ashton's hand came to hold his hip, the other slipped into his back pocket cupping his arse. His firm hands making Calum want to press into him, the hand in his pocket retreated first, then the one on his waist, and then his lips. Calum tried to follow with his own, but the other's chuckle forced him to let his eyes open again. He expected their eyes to meet, but Ashton's were cast down, and when Calum's followed them, he saw the small origami butterfly in his hands. 

"Thought it was going to be a love note, this is nicer though," Ashton told him chuckling, Calum rolled his eyes, but Ashton laughed again. He brought the butterfly up to have a better look at it. 

"Michael was teaching Luke and I how to make them earlier, Luke's looks a bit better, Michael's is really crisp though," Calum explained, reaching his hand to take the paper back. 

Ashton didn't notice the hand instead whipping his head up, "Michael knows origami?" Calum shrugged and nodded simply, not wanting to recount the wedding invitation story, his goal to get Ashton's mouth back on his as soon as possible. 

He seemed to agree, "okay back to the important stuff," Ashton told him faux sternly before he pressed their lips together again. 

Calum's hand rejoined the other that was still slung around Ashton's neck, cupping his face, keeping him as close as space would permit. Their breathing grew heavy as Ashton's hands made their way back down to Calum's arse, taking it in his hands, kneading as if it were dough. Calum moaned into his mouth, drawing back to mouth at his jaw, his head a fog of terrible, terrible thoughts and Ashton, Ashton, Ashton. Through the fog came the sound of an out of tune guitar and a repetitive cycle of notes played on a piano. 

Calum almost groaned to himself as he pulled back, "you're breaking your rituals," Ashton raised an eyebrow in response, and he continued explaining, "I thought you liked watching the opening act soundcheck," he held his pointer finger up as if to say _listen_. 

The sounds origin became clearer as drums joined the keyboard and guitar, Ashton turned with an eye roll, "I only like watching when there's a hot Bass player to oggle," he chuckled, kissing under the others ear, starting to work his way down his throat. 

"You know if they're sound checking, someone's going to be looking for us; I'm sure you probably have half a dozen texts from that someone asking if you're awake and when you're getting to the venue," Calum told him knowingly, gently placing his hands on Ashton's chest, pressing him softly to move. Ashton rolled his eyes and pushed back against Calum's hands a playful look on his face. They both knew that if he wanted to, Calum could overpower Ashton in a second, but Ashton liked to play this game, so Calum let him. Calum indulged him a few moments more, finally letting him press a handful of kisses against Calum's throat, he let up after that and moved out of the younger boys way.

Ashton didn't seem all that worried about Luke's worrying, which again almost caused Calum to groan aloud. He'd been convincing himself all week they didn't really need to have this conversation. _Surely he knows Luke well enough, he should be able to tell_. All signs though pointed to no. 

"Speaking of someone and how worried they'll be," he paused thinking for a moment and then began again slowly, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, mind you, but in Boston, which I know was like a week ago" he sighed, "it's just taken me that long to decide if I should say something, but Luke was pretty upset, he thinks he should have been able to stop Angus," Ashton's face contorted into a confused and almost outraged look, but Calum held up his hand, and Ashton stopped before he even started. "I think you should talk to him, you and Michael, I think he really needs you. I spoke to him, but I think he needs more support than that." 

Ashton's face sobered, and he looked slightly mournful, "fuck," was all he said at first. "Yeah, yeah okay, fuck, yeah, I should give Sierra a call too make sure she knows he'd thinking like this," 

Calum sighed, "thank you, I didn't want to betray his trust, but he cried, and he seems like he genuinely believes that he should have been able to stop him," 

Ashton gave him a small smile, "no, thank you, I won't mention you said anything, I'll just- I'll figure something out" he sighed, they were doing that a lot and Calum started to feel bad for bringing the mood down. 

"Alright I'll check the hallway, and you check your phone, I'm sure he will have texted you by now," Calum told him, deciding the easiest way to change the mood was to leave it behind them in the storage room. 

He stepped past Ashton and carefully opened the door, poking his head out slowly, the music from the stage spewed into the cupboard, but it seemed everyone was elsewhere. He threw his hand back, making a beckoning motion before stepping out into the hall. Ashton followed him, and as they closed the door behind them, he slid his phone back into his pocket. 

"Told him I just got here," he said, looking up and down the hall, "so which way to the dressing room?" 

Calum pointed down the hall, at a door on the opposite side of the corridor, they had only taken a few steps toward it when Michael and Luke opened the door. 

"I was just going to text you say we'd come and find you," Luke told him happily, "I was worried you'd gone back to sleep when I didn't hear back from you earlier," 

"No, just calling family and shit like that," Ashton explained, waving his hand casually. 

Luke seemed in a good mood, and Calum supposed that talking with Sierra had cheered him up, "You really missed out, Michael taught Calum and I some origami earlier, was pretty relaxing honestly," 

"Calum said that you really like origami too," Michael said, his tone genuine and curious, again Calum had to fight the urge to laugh. 

The pay off for not laughing was magnificent though, Ashton didn't blush, but his eyes shifted down uncomfortably for a millisecond, and then he was composed again. "I'm not good at making it myself; I just like to watch the videos," for someone who could tend to be oblivious Ashton was very quick with lies, an attractive and concerning trait. 

Michael grinned happily, entirely oblivious, "you should show me some, some time. Between your videos and my skills, we could experiment," 

Calum choked on his laughter, and all eyes quickly shifted to him, he swallowed thickly, fighting the smile that wanted to plaster itself across his face, "I choked on my own spit sorry," he told them blushing. 

Luke gave him an amused look, "any way we were heading to the stage to get ready for soundcheck, you two coming?" 


	30. 2.7

**_[8th December- Chicago]_ **

The four of them had been in and out of the bus all day, and Calum was in a good mood. Ashton had actually spoken to Luke; Michael as well and Luke seemed less tense. They were all having a really good time together because of it, and Calum's jealousy was waining. It was plain to see that whatever had happened was so far in the past that they could interact effortlessly, not a hint of awkwardness. So everyone being in good spirits had Calum feeling free and a little... chaotic for the first time in months.

All of this had led to Calum and the purple Irwin dildo (the only one he had with him) sneaking into Luke's bunk while he was napping. Michael was sitting in the 'living room area', and Calum had decided he wasn't any fun because when he'd (gently) slapped Michael in the face with it, he'd just given the dildo a funny look and walked off. Calum had tried to tell him that, that wasn't the appropriate response to being cornered and accosted with a purple dildo, but Michael had said if he wanted a good reaction he'd have to think of something better. 

Luke would have to be more shocked. So he'd very carefully pulled the curtain open, happy to see that he was wearing an eye mask (that said 'sassy bitch'), and he'd leant over him making sure to suction cup the dildo at the right height so it would hit him in the face when he woke up. 

After that, he'd joined Michael on the couch, and the look he'd received told him that Michael knew he was up to something. They sat chatting idly and looking on their phones for twenty or so minutes before they heard it. 

It started as what sounded like Luke talking to himself, probably in confusion Calum reasoned and then rustling around. He was waiting for it, whatever the response would be, laughter, horror or even straight-up confusion, the excitement was building.

"What the fuck is your cock doing in my bunk, Irwin?" Irwin? He'd never heard Luke call anyone by their last name before. And how could he just tell it was Ashton's? Calum didn't think he'd be able to pick Ashton's prick out of a lineup and he'd seen it last night. He heard the curtain be drawn back forcefully and then the telltale 'pop' of the suction cup being removed from the wall. 

There were confused 'huh's' and groans from Ashton, who must have been asleep in his own bunk. And then the sound of another curtain being drawn back as forcefully as the first. Calum looked at Michael, his face a mask of horror and Michael shrugged, giving a 'you expected something different look?'. Despite this, he turned his head toward Luke's voice in anticipation of the response. 

"How do you even know it's mine? I'm pretty sure mine's over here with the balls and everything else," Ashton said, the sleep thick in his voice but his tone far more even than Luke's. Knowing Ashton though Calum doubted much could make him emote the way Luke was right now, not even having a mould of his dildo in his exes(?) face. 

"I've had that fucking thing in my mouth enough to know what it looks like when it slaps me in the face," Luke declared, and Calum turned to give Michael another shocked look, this time Michael at least had the decency to look sheepish. 

Ashton began to chuckle, Calum knew it was him, he'd recognise that sound anywhere, Luke sighed, laughing a little, "it scared the shit out of me, why do you even have this thing?"

"Don't flop it around like that, you've got to be gentle with it, if you remember," Ashton told him seriously, "KayKay and I made it a while ago as a laugh, and she sent it back to me right before we left for tour, thought I could slap Michael across the face with it. I didn't put it in your bunk though," 

Their volume decreased significantly, so much so that Michael and Calum couldn't hear them anymore. Calum turned back to Michael, "so they've?" he made a gesture with his hand and blushed, which he surprisingly didn't have to feign. Apparently any discussion of sex with Ashton, no matter who made Calum bright pink. 

"Oh yeah, at it like rabbits for nearly a year back in, oh god, must have been 2014? Think Luke was like 19 or so. It ended fine, and Luke's grown up so much since then but, Ashton's always going to have been his first, you know? I think Sierra knows, it's just one of those weird things that happens I guess," Michael told him, their eyes not meeting as Michael's stayed trained on the curtain. 

"Things," Calum said thoughtfully, "suggest plural, did you and... ever..." he let himself trail off. 

Michael sighed, a laughing coming out in a puff, "Well, never Luke and I, we're genuinely like brothers, and not in the way Ashton and he are," he chuckled, shifting uncomfortably, "in for a penny in for a pound I guess," he mumbled to himself before continuing, "I had Ashton over a table once, we were a bit drunk, and it seemed like we were going to" Michael made the same gesture Calum had earlier, "but he said he didn't like receiving, and I wasn't going to let someone take my spare virginity, so we left it at that,"

This time Calum's response was entirely genuine, his mouth ajar as he stared at Michael in awe, "how do you all work together, and stay friends like this?" Calum asked flabbergasted. 

The older man shrugged again, "sex doesn't always have to be meaningful, not if you don't want it to be," 

Calum nodded slowly, sex isn't meaningful, not to everyone, not to Ashton, "I should go tell Luke it was me, or he's going to think Ashton's being a real asshole. I didn't know it was of his own dick, I just thought it was a dildo, I thought it was a laugh," Calum lied, getting up awkwardly and walking toward the back of the bus. He pulled back the curtain, Ashton and Luke looked up from where they were sitting on the bottom two bunks, their demeanours comfortable but serious nonetheless and the offending dildo on the bed next to Ashton.

"I'm really sorry Luke, I didn't realise, it was Ashton's," he made the gesture with his hand, "and that you two had," the gesture again, "I just thought it would be funny, I found it in Ashton's bunk on the wall, and I thought it was just a dildo. I smacked Michael in the face with it, but he didn't react how I wanted so... you became my new victim, I am really sorry," Calum explained weakly. 

"I didn't think anyone would recognise it, I was just gonna leave it somewhere one day and have someone pick it up and then BAM, tell them they're holding my dick," Ashton told them happily, chuckling to himself. 

"It's been in my mouth enough times I could probably 3D print you a spare," Luke said with an eye roll and a shake of his head. 

Michael nodded his agreement, "I've never had that much to do with it, and as soon as Calum knocked me in the face with it I knew who's it was," 

"Why didn't you say anything!" Calum exclaimed he hadn't thought Luke would have a photographic memory of the damn thing, especially considering it was purple and glittery. 

"I wanted to see how things would play out, and also I wanted to know why you had an Ashton dildo," he shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. 

Calum flushed a dark shade of red, "you know somehow thinking it had been up your arse was more tolerable than knowing it's a mould of your dick, I need a bath," Calum looked at his hands in mock horror. 

"You can take it in there with you if you want," Ashton added cheerily, the other pair broke out in laughter, and Calum blushed somehow even darker, Ashton tossed the dildo at him from where it lay on the bed. 

He reflexively caught it, "fuck all of you," he said glaring playfully at them before tossing it at Michael this time. 

He too caught it, but with intent, taking it by the base, "en-garde!" he exclaimed, shifting into a fencing stance. Laughter erupted from the others, Calum included as Michael waggled it back and forth threateningly. 

As the laughter died down Calum spoke, "I was really worried I thought you two were having an argument in here, but everything turned out fine," 

"Well not fine, you're now privy to this band's darkest secret, which means we're going to have to kill you," Luke said, shrugging his shoulders and sighing. 

They all laughed, and Michael spoke, "You do know what we meant by the curious things you might see at Ashton's now, though right?" 

Calum nodded, smiling, "You're going around telling lies about me to poor Calum?" Ashton asked, reaching across and jabbing Michael in the ribs. 

Michael groaned on impact, "No," he moaned out, "just warning him to keep his wits about him," 

"I don't think there's much I could do to tempt Calum, he too good for me," Ashton said, chuckling. 

"You've got that right," Luke declared. 


	31. 2.8

**_[11th December - Rochester Hills]_ **

Calum had the sneaking suspicion that Ashton liked to torture him. And not with the enormous feelings Ashton often made him feel. It was the making out and blowjobs in rooms that could so easily be infiltrated by others, that seemed the more frequent and debatably effective form of torture.

Because again they were in an empty room, nothing more than an unlocked door and some luck between them and discovery. Ashton, with his fingers threaded in Calum's hair, cupping his face as they kissed. Calum's hands splayed firm against the older man's back trying to keep him as close as possible, as their lips mashing and their heavy breathing filling the quiet alcove.

Calum was only half enjoying himself though, a terrible fear in the back of his mind that today was the day they were going to get caught. He let their lips separate, "We need to stop" he panted as Ashton's lips ghosted down along his throat, "someone's going to catch us,"

Ashton groaned into his neck, "no one will say anything," he attempted to reconnect their mouths, but Calum pulled away slightly.

"If it's anyone from Rockknot, there's no way they won't say anything; they have no loyalty to us, especially me. At least before it was your band or mine, there was some assurance," Calum tried to explain, as Ashton mouthed at his throat.

He didn't move as he mumbled, "you worry too much,"

"You don't worry enough," Calum groaned, finally letting the older man reconnect their lips.

The awful thoughts still wouldn't leave his mind; he was barely paying attention as they kissed. _It's only a matter of time_ , his brain reasoned with him, maybe he should stop this? Right now he could pull back and say, 'It's over', he wouldn't have to worry about any of this anymore. He'd have a whole new set of problems, but maybe they'd be easier to deal with-

Calum's thoughts were cut short, and he pulled away from Ashton again. He'd heard something; he wasn't sure what. His hand came up automatically to stop any words Ashton night utter.

Then there were footsteps; he was sure they were footsteps, it must have been what he'd heard before, he and Ashton's eyes both grew wide. Calum took one tentative step backward, and then the doorknob started to move. Ashton's hands were on his chest, shoving him behind the hinged side of the door, before he could even think the door swung open.

"Ah, not who I was looking for, but I'm happy to see you all the same," came one of the twins smooth voices.

Calum couldn't see the speaker from behind the door, but he could see Ashton from his spot, his face looked disgruntled but unflustered, nonplussed compared to a moment earlier.

"Oh hey, I'm trying to have a moment to myself, if you don't mind," his tone remained even, and his eyes looked bored.

Calum's heart felt like it was banging in against his ribs as he waited for the response, surely he wouldn't want to disturb the celebrity that was Ashton Irwin. Calum turned to look behind him and saw there were some cubicle walls all lined in a row; he heard the person moving closer and made the quick decision to shuffle himself around to hide behind them.

"Moment to yourself, that's what we're calling it now?" the other person asked, their tone dripping with innuendo, Calum could hear them closing the door, and he wondered if they'd left. "c'mon, I can see your hard through your pants," where was he going with this?

"And?" Ashton asked, keeping his tone neutral still.

The person chuckled, "I know you couldn't keep your eyes off Munir at Ashley's new year's party, he doesn't play for your team, but I do," Calum's mouth had dropped open in complete disbelief, it must have been Zahair, was he really doing this?

"That was nearly a year ago, things have changed," Ashton told him, Calum desperately wanted to sneak a peek and see what his body language was like, his voice hadn't faltered or given a hint to any sort of feeling.

Zahair chuckled, "c'mon; everyone knows what you're like Ashton, you don't have to pretend, I won't tell,"

Calum could hear someone moving, but he couldn't be sure who and whether they were coming closer or stepping away.

"I'm already down here, do you really not want me to keep going?"

He was trying to blow Ashton... This couldn't be real; people don't do this.

"If you knew anything about me you'd know I don't do this on tour anymore, I don't know what you think you're going to get out of this either, but I can guarantee it's having the opposite effect," Ashton said, Calum's ears were needlessly trained on every syllable, still no emotion in his voice.

The older man's calmness aside, he just couldn't believe this guy, had he really found Ashton in an empty room and thought he'd just drop to his knees and Ashton would, what? Give him the go-ahead? No matter what his reputation may be, that was ridiculous. It made him wonder though what exactly Ashton's reputation was? What sort of things did people say about him behind his back that would lead to someone thinking this was an okay way to act.

Zahair spoke again, "So you and KayKay are giving it another go then?", that name again. So she was an ex-girlfriend? Well, he hoped ex.

Ashton sighed this time, "just get out of here,"

"And here I'd heard all these stories about an Ashton Irwin who'd bend anyone who asked over a table, amp, piano, bed, sink, you name it, and just ruin you, guess you're getting too old for that,"

Something flared in Calum's chest; he was the only one who got to tease Ashton about being an awful, gross, old man. He didn't let on if it bothered him, but Zahair seemed to get the message. The door opened and closed, and there were a few long moments of silence, as they waited to make sure he was really gone.

"You can come out now," Ashton told him.

Calum stepped out from behind the cubicle wall, and Ashton rolled his eyes, he couldn't help but walk over to Ashton and wrap his arms around his ribs.

"Now if you'd walked in here two months ago and got on your knees for me I would have tripped over myself getting my dick out," Ashton chuckled, kissing his jaw.

Calum couldn't believe he was just brushing it off, surely he was upset, "You're allowed to be upset about what just happened," he told him without thinking.

Calum had never seen Ashton mad; he was a pretty level headed person, which was what made talking to him so hard sometimes. He didn't know what he could and couldn't say. Part of him was afraid the older man would lash out at him, a wave of repressed rage finally being set forth from one poorly thought out question. Instead, though he seemed to keep most of it to himself, and Calum supposed he wasn't Ashton's boyfriend, he wasn't entitled to know his innermost thoughts, but it worried him how impossibly even the other man was able to come across.

Ashton shook his head chuckling, kissing further up Calum's neck and shifting slightly to grind himself against his thigh, "I'll be hard again in a minute, I promise," his voice came out, different, a little desperate.

"Ash, come on, don't- one of us tried this once, we know it doesn't work, just talk to me," Calum paused, "or don't, but don't just do this because you feel like you have to, or for some other ridiculous reason like- like putting on a brave face or worse trying to ignore that you're upset," he sighed, "It doesn't work, I tried, remember?" he made eye contact with the older man, smiling softly but his eyes silently pleading.

"I'm really not worried," Ashton said with a soft smile, and Calum almost believed it until Ashton flicked his eyes down as he looked away.

Calum hummed, "Even if you're not worried, can, can you explain it for me? What that feels like, because I want to understand," he tried instead. 

Ashton sighed and smiled at him, the pleasant sort of smile you give when trying to appease someone, "I don't really know how to explain it, it's- whatever, I'd rather just make out with you in the little bit of time we have left,"

Calum looked at him sadly; he didn't want to push it, if Ashton wasn't comfortable then he didn't need to say anything. However, a feeling in his chest told him that all the things he never seemed to talk about must have been quickly becoming a long list, surely it would be good for him.

The other seemed to realise he despite his assurances, Calum was worried and his eyes dropped closed. He sighed again, thinking for a moment, "I- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people knowing that I sleep around, I don't even care about being called a slut. But that- that just makes me so-so, I can't find the words, just the assumption that because I like sex, I- I don't know? will have sex with anyone, the subtle implication that, that I'm obligated to because- because I might have wanted to once!" He sighed, burying his head in the crook of Calum's neck, "I don't like the way it feels, and dwelling on it for too long just makes me really angry,"

Calum's hands instinctively wrapped around him, one wrapping around the back of Ashton's head to hold him tight against his shoulder, "I can only imagine how that must feel," Calum confessed. He thought for a moment before speaking again, "I never," he pulled back forcing their eyes to meet, "never," he repeated, "expect you to have sex with me, I only want you when you want me, please, please say no whenever you want, I'll never, ever be mad or, or any of those other dumb things, okay?"

Ashton's eyes filled with what Calum assumed must have been fondness, soft, focused and almost shining? "I'm so lucky," Ashton said, chuckling softly before placing a long tender kiss on his forehead.

"Lucky?"Calum asked, indulging himself in a bad habit, pushing Ashton's hair out of his eyes. 

Ashton paid the gesture no attention as he smiled at him, the fondness still in his eyes, "You're so kind," 

"Because I have common decency?"

"It's not that common," Ashton told him with a shake of his head, "I'm really glad I have you though, I don't tell you that, but I am," he confessed, "And I-I'm sorry for trying to act like I'm fine, I just- I don't like feeling like this," Ashton groaned, looking up and then sighing 

He gave Ashton a sad smile, "I know, it's a shitty way for people to treat you. And also - not that anyone should talk to anyone like that - but, you're kind of his boss, that was ridiculous like does he have no sense of self-preservation?" Calum asked incredulously.

Ashton laughed, and it was almost entirely humourless, "If I complain about it, then it just ends up being my fault somehow doesn't it? He knows that" his eyes weren't looking at Calum now, they were focused on a point behind him, and were slowly becoming glassy.

A lump formed in Calum's own throat as an intense wave of empathy for Ashton engulfed him, "fuck," a few tears fell down his cheeks.

"Hey, hey," Ashton said grabbing the sides of his face, a laugh bubbling out of him, and then his own tears started to fall, "stop that," he chuckled, "it's okay, I'll be okay," he was grinning at Calum, now, the tears still on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm making this about me," Calum chuckled, "stop looking at me, I'll stop in like two seconds I promise," Ashton chuckled again, placing little kisses on Calum's lips over and over. "stop," he said dragging out the word, "this is about you,"

He ignored his protests, but moved his kisses across Calum's cheeks, "Were you jealous? Even just the tiniest little bit?" he asked, between placing his lips on his jaw and his neck.

Calum scoffed, "Like you'd sleep with a jerk like that, you have taste," and he wasn't even lying, he'd been mad, but not out of jealousy.

"Hmmm, so it's going to take more than that to make you jealous? Guess I'll just have to start flirting with Luke again, see what that gets me," Ashton grinned deviously, somehow the same shining look in his eye from earlier.

"If anything comes of it at least let me watch," he replied, his face mirroring Ashton's.


	32. 2.9

**_[14th December - Holmdel]_ **

"We're going to get caught," Calum sighed leaning further back into the pillow. 

Ashton placed a kiss against his adam's apple, his arm laying across Calum's chest and his right knee laying between the other's legs. He's comparable to a blanket and Calum wished he could just enjoy it.

"I don't care," Ashton mumbled against his throat.

Calum sighed, "get out of my bunk," he pulled his neck and head to the side, away from Ashton, attempting to sit up in the confined space. 

He desperately wanted to stay there with Ashton wrapped around him. Having things back the way they were on break would be the perfect reprieve from the constant thoughts and incessant question marks floating around his mind. It had worked almost perfectly last time, sure a few thoughts had stuck regardless, but it was nothing on what he was dealing with right now. He still didn't know who KayKay was, and he had no idea who Ashton would be seeing over the break, and on top of that, he was scared at every given moment that someone was going to hand him a photo of he and Ashton somewhere, all over each other, and tell him to leave. 

The older man's hand slid up, holding his shoulder, rubbing gently with his thumb, "No," he sighed, "c'mon Cal it's our last day together, I'm not going to see you until January," 

He relaxed into Ashton's hand and sighed, "easy for you, if we get caught you'll still have a job," 

Ashton drew himself back and tilted his head, so they were face to face, "I don't know why you always say stuff like that, I'd never let anything happen to you, I wouldn't let them do that," 

Calum's mind blanked, leaving only the words hanging there, ' _I'd never let anything happen to you_ '. His brow furrowed and Ashton's eyes were still staring into his own eyebrows mirroring Calum's, "you... you wouldn't?" he asked slowly, sure he'd misinterpreted the words. They were just words after all, but the sentiment struck something deep in Calum's chest. 

"You're my boyfriend, I-I don't want anything to happen to you," his voice came out confused as if the concept shouldn't be so foreign to Calum.

Boyfriend. 

If Calum's mind were blank before it was now an empty void, where fully formed thoughts went to die. His mouth had dropped open just the slightest bit, and he was sure his eyes must have had vacancy signs hung in them, he was completely dumbstruck. 

"I'm your boyfriend?" he asked slowly, his brows only millimetres from forming one. 

Ashton's concerned face shifted, and he chuckled in a sort of astonished way, "I would hope so, I mean, I- yeah I thought you were," 

Calum's thoughts had returned but didn't offer him any comprehension or eloquence, "I thought I was a booty call?" it came out as a question because that's how it was hanging in his mind, cluttered by a million other similar question like statements he was unable to synthesis. 

The look he received from Ashton was one of complete disbelief, "Are you serious? I thought you saying that stuff was like, an inside joke. There's no way I would be curled up in your bunk just talking if you were a booty call, I certainly wouldn't have let you stay at my house for a week. Not to mention letting you into my band," 

He was still trying to process all of this. What sort of person assumed they were in a relationship when you hadn't even had 'the talk'? His 'boyfriend' apparently. Instead of bringing this up though he settled on by far his most insightful question so far, "what?"

"Oh man, we are not on the same page," Ashton paused for a moment, the wheels finally starting to turn in his head, "did you think I invited you to my place to fuck for a week?"

"Yes," Calum told him an exasperated tone. 

"And you came? How horny are you?" Ashton asked incredulously, his hands going to hold the sides of his head in confusion. 

"I just like you okay? I liked spending time with you; it sounded fun," Calum reasoned, his tone offended. 

The older man grinned, "So I guess, seeing as you.." he made an excited face, bobbling his head in faux delight, "like me," his tone mimicked a young girl, "I guess that means I'm your boyfriend too," 

Calum rolled his eyes fondly and sighed, "I mean yeah, now you are," he let his forehead come down to rest on Ashton's chest as he laughed lightly. 

Ashton placed his hand on Calum's back rubbing gently as they laughed, Calum was completely overwhelmed. What the fuck was going on? He had a million questions, and they all needed to be answered before they had to go their separate ways tomorrow. Who was the mysterious KayKay? Why hadn't Ashton ever just said this was what he'd wanted? Why had Ashton let him into Tempted Timeless if they were 'dating'? Would they ever tell Michael and Luke? Normally the questions would build and build until he had a tight feeling in his chest and an inability to focus on anything but today in its place was radiating warmth. And he couldn't stop laughing, and when he wasn't laughing, he was smiling. 

"You know you guys have been talking pretty loudly," came Michael's voice and then the sound of the front and back divider curtain being drawn back. Calum's head whipped up, and Ashton reefed back the bunk curtain. Behind it stood Luke and Michael, the latter having a somewhat amused expression on his face as he eyed the two of them. Luke, on the other hand, had his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on Ashton. 

"I had a feeling something wasn't kosher," Michael said, fighting off a smirk, he shot a glance at Luke, but the other didn't seem to notice it. 

Calum moved to stand, "are you really upset? Do you want me to leave? Because I can, I can just-" there were tears pooling in the corners of his eyes as he spoke. 

A chorus of 'Calum, No's' came from the other three, Ashton's hand had shot up, stopping him from moving. 

Despite their insistence he stay, the three remained frozen as well. Ashton even had the decency to look ashamed. Still, no one spoke for a long moment, letting the silence sit as they all mulled over the situation in front of them. 

Luke finally spoke, "This- This doesn't mean anything has to change," he said slowly, his eyes not meeting anyone else's as he thought and spoke, "It just means that future plans might have to be... rethought. We just need to look at things a little differently now." he finally looked up and made eye contact with Calum; it was hard not to see he was avoiding Ashton's eyes. He continued with his eyes locked on Calum's, "We were leaning towards asking you to become an official member of the band, trying to organise how to get you signed to the label and have everything official," he explained. "We didn't want to say anything until we knew it was actually a possibility but, it's been an idea since day one. I think, think it's best if we just put all of that on pause for the moment," 

Calum nodded slowly, letting his eyes shift from Luke's to take in the other's reactions. Michael too was nodding along, but Ashton's eyes were cast down, he wasn't sure if it was embarrassment, or something else that had him looking so unsettled. It made Calum swallow thickly before shifting his eyes back to Luke. 

"Do you think you'll wanna tell, I don't know, people anytime soon?" Michael asked as he squatted down to Calum's level. His eyes were warm and the change in level showed that, it was a welcome change from the looming shadows he and Luke had been casting over him. 

He had no idea what 'they' wanted to do, he and Ashton were clearly anything but in tune to one another's wants, "I think," he paused sighing, "I think people will be pretty upset, especially if Lesedi and the girls find out, Nia mostly. I can't even say with any level of certainty that they wouldn't comment on it publicly," 

Michael placed a comforting hand on Calum's thigh and gave him an understanding look, a small sorry smile. 

Luke sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, "Yeah, honestly? It's not going to look great. I mean everyone in this room knows that you got here entirely on your own merit, but it's not going to look like that,"

Michael chuckled, "If anything fucking Ashton is a point against you," 

No one else laughed; the tension practically palpable between Luke and Ashton. There was a long pause, Luke seemed to be thinking and the other's waiting to see what he'd say next. His brow furrowed deeply. Even Michael seemed unsure what he might say, his hand still holding Calum's leg reassuringly.

When a few more moments passed and Luke still hadn't spoken, Calum spoke, his voice shaking at first, "Should I just quit after the tour? I'll just go find another band, and you can find another bass player," 

Silence formed again, and Ashton spoke, "How much of our conversation did you hear?" he directed the question at Michael and Luke. 

"Came in around when Calum started talking about getting caught," Michael confessed, "It's a suspicious thing to overhear, draws your attention," he shrugged, raising his hand defensively. 

"Well then you know, how I feel about it, I don't see why this has to have anything to do with the band," Ashton said firmly. 

"Of course you don't," Luke said, rolling his eyes. 

Ashton bristled, "what's that supposed to mean? You and I never affected the band," 

"It's completely different, and you have to see that, we weren't dating, and it wasn't like you'd just joined in the band, we were all there from the start," Luke sighed, turning to Calum, "I'm sorry Calum, but it's true," he turned back to Ashton, "this isn't his band, it's, it's just different if you guys have a bad breakup, which could happen so easily then where does that leave all of us? Calum would have to leave because everyone knows you wouldn't, it's just- it's not fair to Calum," Ashton went to speak, but Luke cut him off, "don't start, we all heard the conversation you just had, your communication skills are terrible, that's the number one reason relationships don't work,"

Calum felt sick; Luke must have been furious with them, especially him, he'd come in and ruined everything. After everything with Angus, this was the last thing they needed and if he hadn't been so desperate for Ashton's attention he could have avoided all of this. 

"So I should just quit in February?" Calum asked again. 

"I really don't know what we should do," Luke admitted, bringing his hands up to cover his face again. 


	33. 3.0

**_[15th of December - Travelling]_ **

Things were tense. 

They were on their way back to LA, Calum had a connecting flight back to his parents from LAX, which was unfortunate because it meant he had to fly with the other three. They hadn't had much more of a chance to talk the previous evening, it'd been time to soundcheck, and then Luke had kept the other's busy doing a live stream between then and beginning of the show. Which they played pretty well all things considered and then Ashton and Luke had disappeared to talk while Michael and Calum had watched television. It had been awkward, and Michael was trying to be nice, which he appreciated, but he couldn't focus, especially having not yet spoken to Ashton himself. In the morning it had been much the same, he and Ashton had only had the chance to throw one another glances and nothing more. 

Now they were on the plane, Michael and Ashton were sitting in seats across the aisle, and Calum next to Luke. He was honestly terrified of Luke. He knew the older man would never be needlessly rude or cruel to him, but he wasn't ready to have the conversation with him he knew was coming. He'd thought they were friends and that Calum had understood his concerns, but he'd been running around with Ashton behind his back. He couldn't handle Luke being disappointed in him. 

It was while Calum he was trying to find the best way to express everything that he regretted, and that he didn't mean to betray the others trust when Luke spoke. 

"I'm sorry, I know you probably want to sit with Ashton, but If you guys are going to be together you're going to need to spread your time between us a little more evenly," Luke said offering Calum a kind smile as he shuffled things around in his seat pocket. "I know it sucks, but I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about how you got here is all," he clarified. 

Calum was taken aback, for a moment he'd completely forgotten just how giving Luke was, of course, he was worried, Luke was always worried. 

"I-I, no I get it, It doesn't bother me at all, I'm still really sorry Luke. It started before, before, Angus, I didn't- I knew I shouldn't have, I should have-"

"I get it; he's hard to say no to." Luke shrugged, and he chuckled quietly to himself, "I'm not mad, I can tell you like him a lot, and I get why you didn't say anything, I'm sure he gave you some really compelling reasons, I bet he even half meant them." he paused again, "I know how conflicting it must have felt, I'm sorry he put you in that position," 

"We didn't want you to worry any more than you already were, which in hindsight is dumb but you were so stressed all the time, you looked like you were going to explode," Calum reasoned. 

Luke smiled, "I know you were worried about me, and I- I just don't want this to snowball into something that could ruin your career, you know how ready people can be to condemn celebrities" Calum went to refute the word celebrity, but Luke realised and continued, "anyone with any sort of following." he sighed this time, "I promise, I'm trying my hardest to work this all out, okay? I just need a little time to figure out our options, and worst comes to worst, and we can't figure something out, then my offer about finding you another band still stands," 

"I really appreciate that I completely understand why this changed things and I promise if you'd have invited me to join you guys and you still hadn't known about Ashton and me, I would have told you or said no. I would never have agreed to something permanent without telling you," Calum explained earnestly, "I just really didn't think you guys would ever consider inviting me to join Tempted Timeless," 

"I know. You're a good person." he smiled softly, "I'm really not mad at you, I promise, I can tell you're worried I am, I'm just upset with Ash, and worried of course. Things will be fine, I'll have a think over the break about what we can do for you," he seemed to think for a moment, "I thought for sure Ashton would have told you, as soon as I realised you were together, I was sure he would have mentioned it," 

"He's never really told me anything about the band, or like what you talk about when I'm not around. The only thing he'd ever mentioned was Angus, and him not writing, he didn't even tell me about Angus' bender, I overheard you two talking about it," Calum confessed. 

Luke hummed, "That'll all change now, don't worry," he grinned wide, and Calum wasn't sure what exactly was so grin worthy, but he smiled back politely. After that, he changed the topic, "so are you going to come back for Christmas?" his tone was light, and he shifted his eyes back to something on his iPad. 

"Oh, uh, no I'm having Christmas with my family. We met like less than two months ago, that's a little early to be sharing the holidays, isn't it?" Calum asked incredulously before adding, "I didn't even know we were dating until yesterday," 

He nodded slowly, not tearing his eyes from his device, "just curious is all, you spent the last break with him, didn't know where you guys were at," 

"I honestly don't know where we're at," Calum sighed, "It sucks actually, now would be the perfect time to figure that out, but instead we're going to be apart for a month, and we've been practically living on top of each other, which might be half the reason we work. It'll be a real test I think," he let out in a stream before pressing his head back into the seat cushion.

Luke thought for a moment, "well- I- I don't know exactly how to put it but, just, I don't know... make sure you stay on the same page, and- and be careful," 

"I'd never do anything to hurt Ashton," Calum assured him, eyeing Luke before, turning to snatch the book in his backseat pocket. 

"I'm not worried about him," Luke told him quietly, there was no malice in his tone, but something else Calum couldn't quite place. 

"But," he didn't know what he had wanted to say, but he was confused. 

"Ashton's overwhelming, in a lot of good ways and some bad ways. I just think it'll be good for you to have a break, come up for air. Just make sure you have some space, some perspective and that you communicate is all I'm saying," He smiled softly at Calum, and he suddenly understood what Luke meant.

"Anyway," he said cheerily, "If you want to come back to LA after Christmas, you're more than welcome to stay with Sierra and me, she already loves you. She'd probably love you a little more if you hadn't gotten me drunk at lunch though," he chuckled to himself. 

"Hey, I blame her and Ashton for that entirely, you and I were the victims of that situation," Calum defended needlessly. 

They settled into comfortable on and off chatter for the rest of the flight. By the end of the flight, he felt much more confident in his and Luke's friendship and a lot more free, knowing that he had half as many things to worry about. He even ventured a glance at Michael and Ashton, afraid they might have been watching Luke and he but instead Michael was playing on his switch, and Ashton was asleep against him. He looked uncomfortable and had several neck rolls as he slept, head tilted both against Michael's shoulder and with his chin against his own chest. He did look cute and peaceful, though.


	34. 3.1

**_[31st of December - Los Angeles]_ **

**Luke Hemmings**

_I'm in the American pickup area. See you soon!_

Calum was trying to make his way through the crowds of people as quickly as he could, his duffle bag in hand but his memories of LAX failing him terribly. He eventually found his way out a set of automatic doors but realised too late that in his confusion he'd walked down toward terminal six instead. He sighed and made his way back toward the front of his terminal, telling himself he'd been here enough times he ought to know better. 

Eventually, he found his way to the pickup area and the only way he'd been able to pick out Luke's car was because the gangly boy had been practically hanging out the window, waving Calum down. Calum had gotten in the car as quick as humanly possible and shook his head fondly at Luke, who pulled him into an awkward side hug across the centre console.

Once he'd settled back in his seat, he spoke, "I'm so excited for tonight! You're going to get to meet loads of our friends, most of them are in the industry, it'll be good for you," he shifted the car into drive, looking over his shoulder and out into the flow of traffic. 

It was because he wasn't paying attention to Calum that he took the next sentence in a completely different way than it was meant, "Trying to find me a new band?" Calum had asked, he was grinning, but Luke couldn't see. 

He whipped his head around and pressed harder on the break, the car doing a weird lurch in place, "It's not like that-"

Calum's grin split further across his face, "I was just joking, don't worry too much-" he interrupted himself, pointing across the car and out Luke's window, "look it's thinning get out while you can," 

He pulled out as quickly as he could, and once he was settled in a lane, he glanced over at Calum quickly before turning back to the road, he sighed, "We still haven't completely decided what we're going to do, but finding you another band is the last resort. I just think it never hurts to know people who know people. It sounds bad, but sometimes a little insider support is necessary," he shrugged now. 

Calum nodded but didn't speak his eyes watching as they drove he realised he really didn't know this part of LA all that well and had no idea what way they were going to go, to get back to Luke's place.

The older man still seemed uncomfortable with the silence, "all that stuff aside, Ash will be excited to see you tonight!" his tone was cheery, the sort of cheery that invites the other person to be cheerful with them. 

So Calum indulged him, telling him happily, "I think he's gonna be pissed personally," 

Luke chuckled, "Oh yeah, for sure but after that, he'll be glad, even if he's not that great with surprises," 

It was weird talking about Ashton like this. Even though Calum had messaged Luke a few days after getting home to his parents and asked if it would be alright if he came back early and stayed with him, he'd explained that he wanted to spend some time with Ashton before going back on tour and that he wanted to surprise him. The thing was despite having never been told or even seen his response in person Calum had the feeling Ashton wasn't a surprise person. It was weird having Luke tell him something with such certainty that Calum should know. He wondered a lot about where Michael and Luke thought he and Ashton were at. He expected being that they were both grown-ups dating grown-ups that they probably assumed he and Ashton had a much better understanding than they did. 

If he were honest, he was a little embarrassed, and that's what this visit was about... kind of. It was also about going to a LA party and having a memorable fun new years eve in spite of the very uncertain year ahead. 

Once they got home, he and Luke had a nice afternoon. Sierra was out somewhere, and in her absence, they had made a great effort at trashing the house. They tried to cook lunch, Luke insisted on making homemade chips, but had managed to drop a fryer basket covered in oil and full of chips all over the floor. The lounge room they'd managed to cover in blankets as Calum complained over and over that there was no way that a house, this size, in this part of LA didn't have heating. And then the lounge room was abandoned as they trashed both Luke's walk-in wardrobe and bedroom, each of them, arguing over what the other should wear. That was until Sierra came home and set them straight. Agreeing with Calum's choices for Luke, but making a few slight amendments on his choices for Calum. Now that she was part of the fray she was fair game to Luke and Calum, who descended on her half of the walk-in, Luke trying to get her to wear a pair of plastic pants from a past outfit and Calum trying to convince her she'd be warm enough in a tight skirt and a cropped faux fur coat. 

Eventually, she shooed them from the room and reappeared in a pair of blue jeans and a corset-style crop top. As soon as he got the chance, Luke had himself draped over her shoulders and his hands wandering, she was giggling good-naturedly as she pretended to swat his hands away. They were sweet and easy, Calum liked spending time with them, but he still couldn't imagine Ashton and him, here with them, acting similarly, or even acting together in front of them. He wondered quietly if that came with time or intimacy. Either way, it didn't stop the smile that snuck its way onto his face as he watched them. 

After that Sierra did her makeup and found a coat, the boys got dressed into their chosen outfits, she did Luke's makeup and then they were ready to go. Luke had ended up in black jeans, a white flowing blouse, and a jacket covered in beautiful, shiny little stars. Calum had borrowed a pair of Luke's boots, to go with his black slacks and black singlet and just as he was getting ready to put on his long, maroon overcoat when Sierra appeared with one of similar shape and length, it seemed like a muted silver colour at first but as it moved you could see it was slightly iridescent. 

"I ordered it a while ago, but I didn't realise it was already oversized, so I ordered it two sizes bigger to get the fit I wanted, and it's just massive, you should wear it, I gave it to Luke, but he never wears it," she told him as she gently pulled the black one from his hands.

After that they were ready to go, it was after nine now, and Luke assured him that Ashton would definitely be there already. The excitement and nerves had started to build as they were getting dressed but seemed to mount impossibly high as the uber pulled up to the curb of some friend of a friend of a friend of Luke, Sierra and Ashton's. They were almost certainly the only people he would know which was incredibly daunting. However, he was mostly worried about seeing Ashton, he was so excited and yet still so worried they were going to make a misstep in front of everyone, or worse Ashton was going to be mad. 

When they arrived, Calum hid behind Luke and Sierra, which was hard considering she was so short. He was introduced to half a dozen people as they entered, but then they started to mingle into the crowd, Luke stopped to talk to someone beside him, and Sierra's eyes were searching the spattering of people. 

"Oh, Lu, Luke!" Luke turned to face his girlfriend, "I just saw KayKay, I'm gonna go catch up with her, okay?" he nodded, and Sierra disappeared. 

Calum's eyes followed her and watched as she embraced a dark-haired girl, she was pale, thin and fairly short, but he couldn't see her face from that distance. She looked as though she would be pretty though which spurred on the tightness is Calum's chest. He and Ashton hadn't spoken that much in the past few weeks; it was more his fault that Ashton's. His parents had, had a line of relatives they were supposed to visit and then family visited them. It seemed to be an endless stream of family, and then there was the trying to catch up with old friends. Some of whom he'd learnt immediately after catching up with them, that he wouldn't be doing that again. Some seemed desperate to be in an Instagram post or story; others only wanted to inundate him with questions about Tempted Timeless. One of them even asked if he'd set them up with Ashton, fortunately for them, they didn't realise how much of a misstep they'd made. So they hadn't had time to talk about KayKay or anything else for that matter. 

He tore his eyes from her, focusing back on Luke who seemed to be wrapping up his conversation with whoever it was he was talking to.

Luke waved the other away and turned back to Calum, "Tyler just said that Ashton was out the back by the pool the last time he saw him," he grinned at Calum and raised his eyebrows ever so slightly. 

"Well, I might go say hi then, is it that way?" he pointed toward the back of the lot, and Luke just nodded, his closed-lip smile only widening. 

He was reassured that Luke seemed so confident in Ashton's reaction to surprising him. So he left, navigating between small clusters of people chatting, some standing around in circles others talking on random smatterings of chairs and some even laying on the floor in the lounge room; which he'd had to walk through to make his way to the enormous sliding glass doors that led out to the pool area. There were people strewn around there as well, but not nearly as many, the night was quite cold, and there were no heaters out there. Calum didn't see Ashton at first, but once he did, he didn't know how he'd managed to miss him. He was dressed in a flaming red turtle neck and a black leather jacket; his hair had been cut since he'd last seen him. He wore it now with the sides shorter and the top long, curls tangled together in a floppy little fringe of sorts. He was looking incredibly serious as he listened intently to a very tall broad-shouldered person. Calum could only see the person from the back, as he walked closer he had to step to the side to be seen, and when Ashton did see him, his brow furrowed in confusion as if seeing a mirage, before his face lit up, a grin splitting across it. 

"When- How did you get here?" Ashton asked, not seeming to care that he had cut the other off mid-sentence, he moved past him and wrapped his arms around Calum's shoulders tight. Thankfully Calum couldn't move his arms because his instincts were telling him to wrap them around Ashton's waist, part of him even wanted to pick him up. But there were eyes everywhere, so he let himself be squeezed, until Ashton pulled back, still grinning at him. As he did so, he let his hand linger on Calum's arm; then he turned back to the unnamed other. 

"Jon, this is Calum, he's the guy who's been playing Bass for us," Ashton told him cheerfully. 

Jon had since turned to face them, and his eyes flicked between the two before settling on Calum, he gave him a warm smile. "Ah huh, we've heard a lot about you from Michael and especially Luke, I think he'd do just about anything you asked he's that grateful," he laughed as he spoke. 

Calum took in his appearance; he was a pretty generic-looking white guy, big mouth, thin lips, blue eyes, hair parted, that way- you know the way they all seem to wear it if it's longer than a number 6- but he did seem genuinely happy to meet him. "If we know anything about Luke we know he's too generous," he chuckled, "I came with him and Sierra tonight, they're taking far too good care of me," Calum admitted, his cheeks blushing slightly. It felt like he'd been brought here by his mum and dad and now he had to mingle with all these grown-ups he didn't know. "Is Michael here?" he asked trying to move the conversation along, he wanted a moment alone with Ashton as soon as he could get it. 

"No they're at another friend of theirs tonight," Ashton told him, then paused for a moment, "I hate to do this Jon, but I have someone who really wants to meet Cal, I'll catch up with you later?" 

"Yeah no that's fine man! I have to go find Tai anyway," they gave each other smiles and then Ashton was off weaving through people and Calum was following close behind. 

He was terrified the person he was being taken to meet was KayKay if he were honest, but he was almost as terrified to meet anyone else. He understood now what Luke had meant, Jon had been in the same space as Ashton and Calum for not even five seconds, and the look on his face suggested he was wondering. He was obviously a friend of Ashton's, he knew what Ashton was like, and he supposed that could lead a person to jump to conclusions. 

By the time they started to slow down they were in a hallway off the kitchen, it was empty which Calum assumed wasn't from lack of people to fill it, more that it was narrow and unaccommodating. Ashton knocked on a door, and when he got no response, he pulled it open, there was a large bathroom behind it, comparable to the main bathroom at Ashton's place. Instead of the large spacious double-headed shower though it boasted a deep, claw foot bathtub, and a shower in the corner, not small but not glamourously large either. There was also a long counter with two basins and stone countertop. Despite how nice it was, he was not having sex in this bathroom, he was swearing it right now. 

"We are not-" Ashton interrupted him wrapping his arms around Calum's waist and kissing him soft and tender on the lips. 

He pulled back, "I missed you," he was smiling softly at Calum, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" 

"Luke and I thought a surprise would be more fun," he couldn't help but grin as he spoke, he liked having one up on Ashton, even if it was something silly like this. 

"If you had of told me we could have ditched this party, I would have planned something better; I would have planned lots of things for us to do while you were here- God I would have cleaned my house," he groaned. 

Calum chuckled at that, "so it's a good thing I didn't tell you? Luke wants me here; he said there are people here I should meet," 

"S'pose he's right," Ashton sighed, the smile still in place, he ran his hands up and down, Calum's sides his eyes taking him in as if were something astonishing he was seeing again after a long, long time. "Don't know how I feel about you in Luke's coat," he said thoughtfully. 

"Technically it's Sierra's," Calum said simply. 

Ashton nodded, a wicked smile coming onto his face, "You reckon she tops him?" 

He reflexively rolled his eyes, "Ashton," he warned. 

"No seriously,"

"I can't speak for bisexuals, you'd have a better guess than me" he was going to leave it at that. Still, he couldn't help himself, "I don't think I could go from getting dicked down so well, to never getting it again," he couldn't help the shy smile and blush that followed, he thought he'd gotten better at this, with anyone else he was good at this but Ashton was the exception. 

"Honestly, I wasn't that great back then, maybe I've turned him off it for the rest of his life," Ashton laughed, a grin split across Calum's face, "you're happy I was bad! You're so jealous!" he laughed. 

Calum chuckled, "oh, one hundred percent, but you just got jealous I'm wearing someone else's jacket, so you're just as bad, if not worse," he said with a shrug. 

"C'mon, out of the coat, it'll look better with my turtleneck anyway," Ashton said, rolling his eyes, but a smile so close to laughter wouldn't leave his face. 

"Are you serious?" he laughed. 

Ashton nodded, smiling, "C'mon," 

Calum stepped back from Ashton and shrugged out of the coat, shaking his head fondly as he passed it to the older man. He took his jacket off and handed it to Calum, he slid his arms into the black leather thing, realising it had a dark woollen lining, you couldn't see while it was on. 

"You look good," Ashton told him, giving him a long appraising look from the bottom to the top."You would have frozen in this anyway," he told him as he adjusted the long coat on his shoulders before continuing, "we need to go back out, we'll have to go our separate ways, I'll wanna touch your butt too much otherwise," he laughed, making his way back toward Calum and placing a long kiss on his lips. 

"Okay, I'll go find Luke," Calum nodded after they pulled back. 

"And we can meet back here just before midnight, I don't want some girl, or worse some guy out there stealing a kiss from my boyfriend," he chuckled, his arms wrapping around the younger man again. 

"Shame Michael's not here," Calum teased. 

Ashton groaned, "then after midnight we can wait another twenty minutes and disappear back to mine," his hands wandered as he spoke, both cupping Calum's now - without the coat- unprotected butt. 

Calum sighed quietly and shook his head, "no, I gotta go back to Luke's tonight," Ashton frowned and seemed ready to say something, but Calum continued, "I'll come over around lunchtime, okay?"

Ashton sighed and smiled and then they parted both disappearing in different directions. Calum to where he'd last seen Luke and Ashton to god knows where. 


	35. 3.2

**_[1st of January - Los Angeles]_ **

Despite being slightly hungover, Calum kept his promise and arrived at Ashton's at quarter past twelve. He'd contemplated bringing iced coffee with him, but his hangover had won out and he'd spent the saved time on a few more minutes of shut-eye.

He'd also been a little impatient to get to Ashton's, he'd missed the other a lot, and had, had many a fantasy on the way over about the multitude of things they might get up to this afternoon. But by far the most important part of all the fantasies was that at the end Calum rolled over and went back to sleep. The fantasies also glossed over the important conversation Calum knew they needed to have, despite the weird dreams and boners his subconscious could summon it apparently couldn't problem solve. Now though he was standing in Ashton's kitchen trying to figure out the best segway for a conversation he would rather ignore in favour of a blowjob instead.

"Are you going to be human after that?" Ashton asked before taking a long gulp of his drink, finishing the juice off quickly. He was making fun of the fact that when Calum had arrived he'd been a little worse for wear, clearly tired and a little hungover. 

Calum gave him a soft smile but said nothing, focusing in on finishing his drink rather than crafting witticisms. 

The lack of response prompted Ashton to move around the counter toward Calum, his eyes watching closely as he came closer, "C'mon Cal, I don't know what to do with myself when you're not giving me cheek," as he spoke, his hands found the younger man's hips and tugged him closer. Calum slowly let their lips meet, kissing lazily as his hand came up to hold the back of Ashton's neck. "Missed you," Ashton mumbled against his mouth. 

Calum pulled back, "I saw you yesterday," he chuckled.

Ashton sighed, kissing his cheek, "and you wouldn't even come home with me," he left his nose resting against the skin, the both of them enjoying the closeness for a moment. 

"I'm here now," Calum told him, even he could hear the way it sounded and the older man made to kiss him. Calum shifted his head and pulled back amending the statement, "But we need to talk first," 

Ashton groaned but pulled back nodding, he seemed eager to get the conversation out of the road and tugged Calum into the lounge room and onto the couch. They sat close on the couch, closer than was strictly necessary but it was so very rare that they got to indulge in simple things like sitting shoulder to shoulder without raised eyebrows. 

"I'm guessing you probably have questions," Ashton began, "I can imagine what some of them are going to be, just start, I'll answer anything," he assured him, letting his hand squeeze Calum's thigh comfortingly. 

He faltered for a moment, his courage from before quickly vanishing, "Um, well I kind of wondered who KayKay was? It's just I've heard her mentioned a few times now and I saw her last night, I just- I just wanted some clarity on what went on there," 

"Oh!" he adjusted so he was better facing Calum; he didn't look upset, just surprised, "I just, I guess I assumed you'd have seen her on my Instagram and stuff, we dated for a while- well not a while, more like six months. It was semi-serious, but we were friends for a long time beforehand, we're in that weird stage where we're still in each other's lives, but we're trying to figure out in what ways."

Calum thought for a long moment, "does that- does it mean you're still in love with her?" he asked quietly, heart hammering in his chest. He wasn't sure what he would do if Ashton said yes. Part of him wanted to believe he'd leave, tell Ashton that he needed to get over her first so they'd have a real shot. But another (and what he quietly thought) more likely scenario was that he would stay despite that, and that terrified him.

He made a funny little scoffing noise, "No" a small, good-natured smile found its way onto his face, "never was," he sighed and rubbed a hand across his face as if realising he'd have to tell the whole story. "I realised maybe eight-nine months ago that I wanted to think about actually dating someone, and KayKay and I have always had this whole 'will they, won't they' thing; and a lot of our friends thought we should get together so we gave it a go and it just didn't work, at least not how either of us wanted it to," 

His face softened as he listened, but Calum couldn't stop his wandering thoughts, "part of me was worried the reason we needed to be so sneaky was that you two were still together, I know, it's dumb, but it's just a thought I kept having," 

Ashton didn't seem offended by the comment, his head lolled to the side, so their eyes met, his hand still sat comfortingly on Calum's thigh, "If I didn't think it would make you look so bad I would tell anyone that would listen, I swear, I'll tell KayKay, I'll let you meet her if you want?"

Calum's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "no! I mean, I- that seems like a lot, maybe in the future," he panicked for a moment, unable to express in a subtle way that he was terrified of KayKay- well knowing her, he was afraid he supposed that she was wonderful. "I more- I just wanted to understand I guess why you never told me that you wanted us to be together-together, you know?"

He seemed to think before starting, "Besides KayKay, you're the only person I've ever been like this with. Even with Luke, we were friends but we, we didn't do the little stuff you and I just do without thinking. I don't normally hook up with people more than two or three times, not as a rule or anything we just end up not seeing each other that often, or I suppose get bored. So before I started dating KayKay, Luke was my point of reference. He and I were friends but, it was different, the afterwards wasn't the same, the kissing wasn't the same. I just assumed I guess, that people didn't act the way we did if it wasn't something more, you know?" 

Calum nodded, the pieces clicking together, "See, I've been with loads of guys who do exactly what we do, even have let me meet their parents, I've gone to weddings with them the whole deal and then it's," Calum shifted his voice lower before he continued, "'Oh, you thought we were dating? I don't know why you'd think that I'm not really looking for anything serious right now, I'm just going through some stuff I wouldn't be good in a relationship,'" he was grinning as he finished, especially as he looked at Ashton's confused face. 

"People have given up the chance to date you before?" Ashton asked, the confusion from his face dripping into his voice, Calum just rolled his eyes, the older man had to be pulling his leg. "So how many guys have you actually dated?"

"Hmm, dated as in we both agreed it was dating? Have to be three,"

"Any of them standouts?" Ashton asked conspiratorially.

Calum chuckled, "Well there was Chandler, we dated for two years, which is the longest I've ever dated anyone so that in itself makes him a standout. We broke up before I left Boston though, not over anything in particular either just, I guess, going different directions," 

"Wow, two years? Do you think we'll last that long?" Ashton's head was on his shoulder now, and Calum desperately wanted to see what his face looked.

He hummed, "I hope so," he said quietly, and Ashton seemed to be still thinking so he continued, "so KayKay's the longest relationship you've ever had?" 

"Yeah, a bit embarrassing to admit at 26," he felt Ashton shrug as he spoke. 

"I don't think so, especially considering you got to decide you were ready to be in a serious relationship, instead of bloody fumbling your way through it at 16," Calum shifted slightly, so his body was turned into Ashton's. The thought of being Ashton's first boyfriend flared something in him; the older man had almost certainly slept with more people than Calum, Calum had a different type of experience and as bad as it may be the thought of Ashton being inexperienced really turned him on. 

He leant closer to Ashton's ear, trying not to disturb his head too much, "love the idea of being your first boyfriend, wanna take care of you," he said quietly. 

His heart was thumping hard in his chest, Calum usually felt more in control of his relationships, but with Ashton, it felt like the older man held all the cards. Often, in moments like these, he wasn't sure if the shift would sit well with him. 

Surprisingly, Ashton's breath hitched lightly, and Calum couldn't help but slide a hand along the inside of his thigh, stopping when his hand came into contact with Ashton's already hardening cock. His head snapped, up and he sat quietly waiting for Calum to make the next move. He palmed at him gently through his shorts and the thin exercise tights that were underneath. Noises of approval came from Ashton and Calum's imagination began to head off on a tangent of its own. He leant over and kissed him slowly as he continued working Ashton through his clothes, any noises he made being lost in Calum's mouth.

Ashton was pliable, one of his hands slowly came up to tentatively hold the back of Calum's head, the other remaining still by his side. He could feel the older man's uncertainty radiating off him but he could also sense it wasn't out of fear of Calum or the situation, just that Ashton had never been in this position before, not with Calum at least. 

Calum placed kisses under Ashton's ear and along his jaw before broaching the question, "take your pants off? I'll make you feel even better," it wasn't really a question but it was posed as one nonetheless. 

Ashton didn't need to be told twice he got up quickly and was back on the couch in just his thin t-shirt moments later. Calum guided him to lay back against the arm of the couch with his knees bent and legs wide. 

Calum crouched down between his legs and let his thumb brush over Ashton's asshole, the older man tensed the tiniest bit before relaxing again, "Is it okay if I lick here?" Calum asked, his head shifting up quickly to see Ashton's face.

He made eye contact and nodded, "yes," then his head returned to laying back on the side of the couch, the crook of his elbow coming up to hide his face.

Calum repositioned himself between Ashton's legs, he slowly licked down his taint, until he reached Ashton's puckered hole as he started to kiss and suck the rim letting his tongue press past the ring of muscle every so often, before pulling back again to kiss and suck. Ashton tried his hardest to sit still, but every so often his hips would jerk slightly, his moans muffled only somewhat by the arm that still lay across his mouth. Calum would chuckle fondly every now and then before returning to the others hole and starting to work him undone all over again.

It hadn't really been that long when the arm covering Ashton's face pulled away and he sat up quickly, "Okay, okay I get it, you eat ass better than me, now please finger me," he sounded exasperated like he'd been working up to this outburst for awhile now. 

Calum chuckled yet again and climbed up toward Ashton, being careful not to knee him, "you sure?" he asked, making sure their eyes met, and the older man nodded, "okay," he smiled, kissing him gently before climbing off of him and the couch, and turned to make his way to Ashton's ensuite.

"Where are you going?" Ashton asked, his voice wasn't panicked, but a little apprehensive

Calum turned back to him, smiling softly, "gotta get some lube; it's in the same spot?"

He turned to leave again, but Ashton chimed, "Just use spit!"

Calum turned to face him chuckling again, before coming back toward the couch, "want it to be so good for you, lube will be better," Calum told him leaning down to connect their lips again.

Ashton didn't keep arguing, and Calum quickly made his way to the bathroom, finding a fresh bottle of their preferred lube and making his way back out to the lounge room where Ashton still lay on the couch, his eyes trained on the backyard, they snapped up to Calum as soon as he heard him approaching.

His smiled at Calum, but there was a nervousness underneath it, so Calum smiled back shaking the bottle of lube at him happily.

"Sure you don't wanna do this on your bed? It's going to be easier," Calum asked, his eyes raking over Ashton before settling on his face to wait for a response.

"Lightings better out here," Ashton said simply.

"Oh yes, and more room for the film crew," Calum said sarcastically, but a smile on his face nonetheless.

Ashton rolled his eyes, "We normally have to do everything in dark, gross rooms with awful fluorescent lights, wanna see you" he explained holding his hand out to Calum, a light blush coating his cheeks.

Calum gasped, "you're secretly a romantic?" he teased. 

"Just shut up and take your clothes off," 

Calum complied as quickly as he could, tossing the bottle of lube to Ashton for safekeeping. Once he was naked, he climbed across Ashton, so he was laying by his side on the couch, a little further down, so they weren't quite face to face, but close enough Calum could keep an eye on him. 

"Okay, pass me the lube, and if you don't like it, or literally anything, just tell me, and we can stop," Calum assured him, making sure to make eye contact with Ashton. 

The older man just nodded, and Calum lubed up a single finger and reached down, touching it to Ashton's rim and pressing lightly, "relax, it doesn't hurt if you're relaxed" Calum said, reaching his free hand up to push Ashton's hair out of his eyes. Then he used it to take Ashton's cock in hand and began to stroke it slowly, the older man finally relaxed, and Calum pressed a finger in. Aiming his fingers up almost immediately, working in and out slowly and making sure to nudge his prostate. 

Ashton laid impossibly still at first, but as he was worked with careful fingers, his composure began to fail. He seemingly couldn't help but wiggle and shift himself to ensure Calum pressed in just the right places. His moans and whimpers had the younger man achingly hard. Having Ashton so vulnerable and pliable was entirely intoxicating, and he had silently vowed to appreciate every moment. 

He now had three fingers buried inside Ashton, working them in and out in what he liked to think was a skilful manner, he shifted himself slightly so he could lean over and start to suck Ashton's cock. 

Almost immediately Ashton jerked, "Fuck! Cal, oh my god. If you want to fuck me you need to do it now, or I'm going to come," Ashton managed to say through breathy gasps. 

Calum pulled back quickly taking his fingers with him and, making eye contact with Ashton, "We don't have to- I just wanted to make you feel good, I don't want to if you don't want to-" he rushed out. Ashton wasn't a great communicator, and Calum was worried this was one of those moments he was going to clam up and not say what he really wanted. 

"C'mon Cal, I'm a mess, it'd be rude of you to not follow through on this, hurry up," his voice started out serious, but the sentence ended with him practically whining. It wasn't quite the answer he'd wanted but he thought it might be the best he was likely to get from Ashton. 

"Okay, well it's going to easier if you're on knees," 

He shook his head, "Want to see you," he admitted. Calum nearly let out a relieved sigh at that, he was at least setting boundaries, that was reassuring.

Instead of saying that though he grinned, "I knew you were a romantic," Ashton shot him a look that was clearly supposed to say 'don't start', but it only made Calum laugh before continuing, "you know it'd be easier on the bed-"

Ashton shook his head again, "here," he said obstinately. 

Calum was tempted to coo at the unusual display but thought better of it, despite his clear nervousness this was still Ashton. The fact that he was here like this, being so open felt like a monumental step, rationally though Calum knew if they didn't do the work, it would be merely artificial but for right now the idea of being inside Ashton was causing all other thoughts to become muddled. 

"Alright, how are we gonna do this then?" Calum asked, sitting up as best as he could in the small space next to Ashton. 

The older man rolled over, so he was facing Calum, both of them laying on their sides, "Like this," Ashton told him simply. 

"Ash, you know how hard it's going to be like this,"

Ashton's eyes were focused on Calum's chest, and he ran a hand across his collarbone and up toward his shoulder, "are you saying you have shit stroke game?" he asked, his words not matching the coyness he was portraying. 

Calum groaned, "If it's too uncomfortable I'm just going to pick you up and take you to your room whether you want to or not," 

Ashton grinned, and he rolled his eyes in response, moving to position them more comfortably. He lubed up his cock, which was the only attention it had gotten, it was sensitive and aching. After that, he lifted Ashton's leg up to better situate himself, he had to again lay a little further down the couch, and Ashton frowned at the distance between their faces but remained quiet. Calum rubbed a reassuring hand back and forth over his hip and arse after lining himself up. Making sure to keep up the soothing touch as he pressed himself in. 

"You've gotta relax again, It's gonna be more uncomfortable if you don't," he started to gently stroke Ashton's dick again, and sure enough he relaxed, "feels okay?" Ashton nodded and reached his hand down to take Calum's that was on his hip. "I'm gonna move a little bit," 

As he started to somewhat awkwardly thrust in and out, soft moans and intakes of breath came from Ashton.

"Feels good," Ashton assured him. 

Calum placed a kiss on his chest, the closest he could get to Ashton's face, "You feel amazing, so tight and soft," he told him, squeezing his fingers, "you're doing so good, feel so good," Calum panted a little as he continued to thrust. Ashton moaned at the praise, and his hand tightened around Calum's. 

They continued like that, Ashton moaning, slowly coming apart and Calum panting like a mad man as he worked ridiculously hard to keep up their awkward position. He did have to admit that being able to see the blissed look on Ashton's face and watch as the obscene noises tumbled out of him was worth the effort of the position. Eventually, Ashton gave up on holding Calum's hand and had his fingers digging into his shoulder as he thrust, lapping up the praise Calum babbled as he thrust over and over. 

"So good, so beautiful," Calum told him again, his hand kneading Ashton's arse as he slowed his strokes and felt him clenching around him. He started to jerk his cock in his hand again, "C'mon Ash, doing so good, feel so good," he told him, repeating the sentiments over and over until Ashton was coming on his hand. He tightened around Calum as he came and he couldn't help but keep thrusting, desperate to release now. He continued faster and faster until he felt the building sensation and quickly pulled out, stroking himself quickly before he came across Ashton's hip.

He pulled himself up toward Ashton's face almost immediately after and began placing kisses across his collar bones and up his neck. 

"How do you do it?" Ashton asked quietly, his hand coming up to play in Calum's hair as he kissed him. 

He didn't pull back to answer instead mumbling his response into the older man's Adam's apple, "do what?" 

"Be so- so versatile- you just- I don't know how to explain it, you're just always exactly what I need," 

Calum hummed, "just want to be good for you, want you to enjoy yourself. I know it's weird for you, hard even to let me, but I just want to make you feel good," he pulled back this time watching Ashton as he waited for his response. When he seemed to still be thinking Calum continued, "I'll let you bend me over the kitchen counter later if you want," 

Ashton pulled himself from his thoughts and chuckled, before pulling Calum in for a chaste kiss, "so you'll stay tonight then?" 

He nodded, "yeah, but I've gotta go back to Luke's in the morning," 

A frown formed on Ashton's face, and Calum gave him a questioning look, "it just feels like now that we're actually together, and you know, know where we stand that you're trying to push me away," Ashton explained quietly. 

Calum couldn't help himself, and he laughed, "It's not that, I promise," he shook his head fondly before continuing, "It's just that now I know that this is going to be long term, I think we need to think about things a little more. I thought this was going to be over by now, so I was just enjoying the time we had together, but now we can take our time. We've only known each other for like- what?" he thought for a moment, "three months? On the flight home, Luke asked if we were spending Christmas together and I realised we've barely been apart," 

Ashton seemed to think for a moment, "Yeah- Yeah I guess that's true, you're right, I just, I'm not used to not seeing you every day," 

"I know, but I think a little bit of space might help us communicate a bit better," Calum explained, letting himself rest against Ashton's chest. 

The older man hummed, "I suppose you're probably right," they were both quiet for a moment as Ashton continue carding his hand through Calum's hair, "thank you, by the way," he paused again, "for- for being so careful, I um- it's just that-" 

"It's okay, you don't have to explain, it was my pleasure," Calum told him pressing a kiss to Ashton's jaw and then returning to resting his head on his chest, eyes falling closed as he listened to the calming rhythm of his heartbeat.


	36. 3.3

**[8th of January - Los Angeles]**

Over the past week, Calum had been seeing Ashton almost every day but had continued to go back to Luke's to sleep each night, and even though he should have been used to it by now Ashton kicked up a fuss every afternoon. Whether it be simply pouting at Calum in an attempt to get him to stay or like the previous night when he'd whisked him up in his arms, and they'd danced hand in hand through the house which had been a very good attempt at tiring Calum out so he'd collapse into bed and not leave. Neither had worked. It took a great deal of will power to leave each afternoon/night, but he felt it was worth it. Ashton seemed more determined to make their time together fun, and sometimes he could swear that after he'd left Ashton must have planned out what he'd ask the next day. Because questions about Calum's past would seamlessly blend into their conversations, and steadily the blanks began to be filled.

Calum sometimes had to stop himself from cheating, not on Ashton, but on the finding out. It was so easy to google a lot of the easy stuff about Ashton, it was all on the internet, easy enough to find for anyone looking. Like, take his middle name, for example, Fletcher, it was just a google search away, but it had been far more fun to exchange middle names together over a bottle of red as the sun went down.

There was the other stuff too, the articles he knew existed about Ashton being with this person or that person, and it would have been all too easy to spend a night sifting through each and every one of them in the privacy of his bedroom. He hadn't though, any question he asked about other people he'd been with Ashton answered mostly unaffected, but always without hesitation, he wasn't ashamed, and that reassured Calum that he'd always tell the truth.

Beyond their moments together at Ashton's though, and the increasingly intimate details of their past they'd shared. They hadn't spent any time with Michael and Luke together. Which wasn't something Calum had honestly thought all that much about until Luke had said he'd invited the other two over to catch up before they went back on tour. He wasn't sure if the pair would mind them being... well a couple around them, and honestly? Calum wasn't sure if he was ready to be like that in front of them. Part of him was still hyper-aware that Luke and Ashton had a history, no matter how old it may be.

"Cal? Can you grab the door? It's Michael," Luke called from the kitchen.

Calum came back to the moment and climbed off the couch, heading straight for the front door. Luke must have still been cutting up the cheese board, or he wouldn't have asked Calum to open the door, ever the gracious host.

Sierra probably would have been sent to open the door instead even, but she'd gone out with friends for the evening so the boys could have the house to themselves.

He was just entering the entryway as Michael came through the front door, "used the gate code," he explained before toeing off his shoes at the door.

Calum nodded, and he turned leading the way into the kitchen, he was more than certain Michael knew the way, but it felt like the least he could do considering he missed out on opening the door.

"Are Ash and Luke in the kitchen?" Michael asked from behind him.

Calum shook his head, before realising Michael might not see that, "Luke is, Ash isn't here yet," he explained.

"Oh," the sound came out surprised, more surprised than it should have, "I just assumed that 'cause you were here Ash would be too, did you come over early to help Luke out?" it was a harmless question, but Calum could tell Michael was testing the waters.

"No, I'm staying here with Luke and Sierra, I've got the spare room furthest from their bedroom," he explained chuckling, he stopped holding the kitchen door open for Michael to walk through.

"You and Ash didn't have a fight, did you?" his voice was filled with concern, and he made meaningful eye contact as he passed through the door past Calum.

He shook his head, laughing.

"Michael you're so nosey, Cal's staying here because I invited him and he and Ash don't need to live in each other's pockets," Luke scolded from the other side of the kitchen.

Michael flushed deeply, "Sorry Cal- it's just I know what Ash can be like is all," his hand came up to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck, "but if he ever does anything stupid just tell us," he added.

"Dude," Luke said, giving Michael a stern look, "but seriously, just tell us," he added.

Calum had flushed a deep shade of red and wasn't sure if 'thank you' was the appropriate response, the gate buzzer sounded, and he turned quickly out of the kitchen heading for the door. He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed. But as much as Michael and Luke were his friends they were Ashton's more so, and he didn't think Ashton would tell them about anything.. intimate, but he had a feeling they knew exactly what Ashton was like. It was just so embarrassing knowing they knew Calum was so often in the dark about his own relationship.

He pressed the button by the door, then pulled the door open and watched as Ashton made his way through the newly opened gate and up the short path to the door. He gave Calum a warm smile as he approached, a six-pack nursed in his arm.

"The host came out to greet me himself," Ashton chuckled, and Calum rolled his eyes but let the older man pull him in -one-handed- by the waist and press a kiss to his cheek anyway.

"The others are in the kitchen," Calum told him quietly as they separated, and he led the way inside.

They were silent as they made their way through the house, it was comfortable, they'd already seen each other earlier in the day and knew they'd see each other tomorrow, there was no hurry to get sentiments out.

When Calum pushed through the kitchen door, Michael and Luke looked up from where they stood over a wooden chopping board laden with cheese.

"Thought you two would take your time coming in here," Michael said grinning wickedly.

Calum involuntarily flushed a deep shade of red, and couldn't think of anything to say but didn't have to because Michael turned back to the chopping board and started critiquing Luke's layout, which seemed to have been what he was doing before they'd entered.

After another fifteen minutes of arguing over the cheese boards ratios, they all took one of Ashton's beers and headed into the lounge room. Luke and Michael took up spots on the long couch, and Calum and Ashton wordlessly sat at opposite ends of the loveseat. Once settled, they chatted for hours, the conversations shifting from one thing to another seamlessly, leaving Calum wondering at one point how they'd gone from talking about craft beer to indigenous Australian Dreamtime stories. Then the conversation shifted again and again until they'd put a decent dent in Luke's alcohol reserves. None of them was very drunk, but they all thought things were far funnier than they really were and had to stand up tentatively at times.

"I like, want to go back on tour- like don't get me wrong I do-" Michael told them his speech just the slightest bit slurred, "but fuck I get horny," they all fell into a fit of giggles.

"Honestly," Luke gasped out, curling into himself, laughing.

Michael pointed at Ashton "Stop grinning like that!" a grin split across his own face.

"Like what?" he asked defensively, and Calum whipped his head around to look at Ashton.

He did have a sheepish smile on his face.

"Don't bullshit me, we all know you and Calum don't go without," more laughter from the three of them.

Calum turned a deep shade of red and subconsciously sunk himself into the couch.

"Aww look at Calum!" Michael cooed, and all eyes shifted toward him, "Calum," he began seriously, "Luke and I are aware that you and Ashton have sex,"

He flushed even darker at that, and the other three laughed again, Ashton reached out a hand and patted Calum's thigh, "they're just teasing," he chuckled.

"You know we don't mind, if you guys want to be a couple around us, you don't have to pretend to just be friends," Michael explained, his eyes drifting to the seemingly platonic hand on Calum's leg and then darting back up to their eyes.

Ashton slid himself in close against Calum's side and slipped an arm around his hips, letting his hand slide into the front pocket of his jeans.

"Ashton," he said warningly but everyone, Ashton included just chuckled.

"Don't have to worry about Calum rushing you two into the public eye then," Luke chuckled.

"You have to worry about Ashton keeping his damn hands to himself though," Calum said, gently smacking at the hand in his pocket.

Ashton pulled him impossibly closer in response, peppering fast kisses against his neck, "Michael said I don't have to pretend so I'm gonna do whatever I want,"

"Luke," Calum whined, feebly attempting to push Ashton off of himself.

"I love it when you moan out other guys names," he chuckled, pulling back.

Michael and Luke were chuckling, and Calum got up giving his boyfriend a playful frown and moved to sit between the others on the long couch. This made them laugh even more as Ashton frowned.

Once the laughter died down Luke continued, "What I was going to say was, Michael and I have been talking, and we think it's probably a good idea if we keep you on your casual contract for the foreseeable future and you two keep a low profile," he'd looked between Ashton and Calum as he spoke, making eye contact with both of them.

Ashton didn't speak seemingly watching and waiting for Calum to do so first, he shrugged, "that works for me," the older man nodded along with him.

Michael breathed a sigh of relief, "thank god, cause we have a whole bunch of promo shit we need to do after tour,"

"Promo?" Calum asked, they hadn't even been signed for another album yet, and this was the last leg of the tour, what were they promoting?

He rolled his eyes, "There's some shitty Alexa ad we were offered, and it's our best shot to show people Angus is gone for good," he explained.

"Ah I see, all very complicated stuff,"

Michael nodded, "yeah, you should get a manager, so you don't have to deal with all this shit,"

Calum frowned, "You guys have a manager and Luke still has to deal with all this,"

"Yeah, but Luke's a tight arse," Ashton said, rolling his eyes.

"Luke can be my momager," Calum decided.


	37. 3.4

****_[11th of January - Orlando]_ ** **

They were back on tour again. Calum was stuck to Michael’s side almost all the time, and Ashton was generally somewhere with Luke. Which was a good thing… objectively. Unobjectively it meant that a lot of Calum’s time was spent wondering where Ashton was or what he was up to, if he and Luke were having fun and if they’d get a chance to see them before soundcheck.

The four of them had, had the brilliant idea that Ashton and Calum should be seen together less, they were both single and openly interested in men, fans would draw conclusions, and there was the fact that Ashton was positively incapable of keeping his hands to himself. Not to mention Rockknot, who always seemed to be around. Calum swore that Angel & Trinkets had not spent this much time with Tempted Timeless. He was at a complete loss for how they’d managed so much alone time together before.

He was staring off into the distance, thinking about all of this, silently grateful none of the members of Rockknot had approached him to chat when Michael’s voice called out to him, “What are you doing over there?” he whipped his head around and saw the older man approaching him with a bag of McDonald’s in hand.

“Just chilling,” He told him, thinking that had they been alone he might have admitted that he’s purposefully sat in view of everyone else, so they’d have no reason to think he was off somewhere with Ashton. Not that he really thought there was some underlying conspiracy around him and Ashton, but he was paranoid the girls were going to find out.

Michael joined him on the floor, “I got extra fries for you,” he said happily taking them out of the bag and offering them to Calum.

He took them and smiled in appreciation, “Seen Lu and Ash?” Calum asked as casually as he could manage.

He hummed in response as he unwrapped his cheeseburger, “They’re in some video meeting with someone from the label,” he took a big bite of the burger and chewed a few times before continuing with his mouth full, “told them it wasn’t fair if you were the only one who wasn’t in the loop, so they let me leave,” he grinned stupidly at Calum, clearly proud of the idea.

“Oh? What’s the meeting about?”

“Stuff on Twitter is getting pretty hairy, it’s spreading from our fans to other parts of Twitter, including radical feminist Twitter, who already hate us for the guitar we auctioned off for that Trans charity.” He rolled his eyes, “Anyway,” he continued, “they’re trying to figure out what we can do so it doesn’t keep spreading, cause like who gives a fuck about them right? But like we don’t want like actual feminists to think what they’re saying is true,” He sighed, scrunching up the now empty burger wrapping and diving a hand into the bag to pull out chicken nuggets.

Calum took a few fries into his mouth, trying to think about what they could feasibly do. Nothing came to mind, and he fought the urge to sigh along with Michael. Instead, nodding his head and humming in agreement.

Michael continued, “went out front earlier and doesn’t seem like are a lot of people out there yet, shows supposed to be sold out. Told Lu and he’s going to bring it up while they’re in there,”

“Fuck,” Calum didn’t know a lot about this industry yet, but he knew that if Michael had noticed a dip in pre-show attendance, something was up. The boys had been playing these size shows for years, and there was obviously a ‘normal’ amount of early arrivals they saw.

“Yeah, I know, they’ll work something out though. We haven’t even started on the PR stuff they initially had planned; we just need the tour to finish up so we can actually get to it, you know? Most of its ads and like online engagement and that, which is hard to do on tour, but it’ll be fine once we actually start it.” He reassured, and again Calum found himself without much to say.

Michael seemed to shift tone, “everyone’s already been asking if you’re going to hang around after tour, and Lu’s trying to convince them to get you involved in the PR stuff,” the inflection in his voice encouraged Calum that this was supposed to be a good thing. “The label’s a little hesitant, but Luke’s trying to explain that’ll it’ll show we aren’t waiting for Angus to come back. They want us to be super careful though, you know after he tried to call Ash the other day, they don’t want any association with him,”

“He what?” Calum asked incredulously.

“Ash didn’t tell you? Like two days ago he tried to call him, he didn’t pick up, and then he texted him and was like ‘bet they’ve told you not to contact me, but I thought we were friends, I always felt like you, and I got each other, blah blah blah’” Michael mocked.

“We honestly haven’t seen each other for more than like ten minutes at a time in the past few days,” Calum sighed, he felt like he had to defend Ashton’s not telling him about it, he knew that Michael and Luke seemed to believe Ashton was a couple of shitty decisions away from screwing him over. “What a fucking asshole though, as if he and Ashton are anything alike, he would never, _never_ do what Angus did,” he stopped there, feeling himself getting worked up.

“God no, we all know despite his social intelligence deficiencies Ashton’s not a,” Michael’s voiced shifted lower, “rapist,” he said quietly,” but Angus just thinks of himself as a womanizer, and for a long time, he and Ash had that in common. One of the reasons he and Luke stopped hooking up was because Angus kept making comments to Luke. It wasn’t like anything really bad, but it put a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, you know? If he’d found out about you and Ashton, we’d have had a serious problem on our hands,”

Calum’s brow furrowed, “He’s really that bad?”

Michael nodded, “He talks about the guys Ashton sleeps with the same way he talks about women, which is terribly, just has a lack of respect for women and I guess by extension the person he sees as ‘the woman’ in gay relationships as well,” He rolled his eyes at his own use of the term ‘the woman’ before continuing. “And he would have made it a joke, everyone would have found out. Luke and I never talked about Crystal or Sierra around him as like an unspoken rule, and he wasn’t welcome at either of our houses anymore. Not that we thought he would do what he did, but he made them uncomfortable with the things he said. I don’t think Ash ever even let KayKay meet him.”

“it’s a bit scary how much protection a contract can give you,” Calum said quietly, and Michael nodded, “you’d have gotten rid of him if it weren’t for that right?”

“I don’t know if Ash has told you, but we had plans to not renew our contract in May and just leave and start a new band,” Michael told him honestly.

“Yeah, Lu was telling me that a while ago. It’s just so crazy to think that you really have no idea what’s going on in other people’s lives,”

“Tell me about it,” Michael said with a meaningful look and Calum blushed deeply.

He swallowed, so his voice was even, “you guys finding out is possibly the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said honestly.

Michael laughed, “why? He’s not that embarrassing, is he?” he asked, making careful use of the word he in place of a name.

“Oh God no, but you guys warned me at like every possible turn, but it was already too late. I don’t know, I guess I just feel a bit like a silly little kid sometimes,” he said and then whispered the last part, “and really unprofessional,” he was still tinged pink as he said that.

Michael scoffed, “I wouldn’t worry about that, Luke’s the only one even close to being an actual grown-up, and he still slept with you know who so he can’t throw stones,”

“You’re engaged,”

“And I nearly slept with you know who, once upon a time, none of us are immune,” he chuckled, Calum shrunk into himself slightly, his face still terribly hot. “Does that bother you? I can’t believe I told you that, like you were already sleeping, together weren’t you? That means the... was yours? You guys made that?” his tone grew increasingly more incredulous.

Calum chose to ignore the obvious question in favour of actually having someone he could talk to about his Luke orientated insecurities, “I mean honestly, a little bit, and I feel like that makes me a bad boyfriend, but I just, I don’t know he’s so gorgeous, not you know who- the other one. It’s hard not to be a little jealous, at least with you two I know It wasn’t like an ongoing thing,” There wasn’t anyone close enough to actually overhear them, but it seemed they had both silently agreed it was better to be safe than sorry.

The older man hummed his understanding, “Does he know?”

“Yeah, he thinks it’s cute,” Calum told him with a roll of his eyes.

Michael laughed, “typical, once you get home from tour things will change, you know? You’ll settle more I guess,”

“I don’t even have a home at this point, Michael,” he sighed.

“You’re really trying to have the most complicated year of your life, aren’t you?” he asked, laughing.

“And succeeding,” he said, joining in the laughter, taking the opportunity to lean over and steal a sip from Michael’s drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just wanted to let you know this has taken a little while because I've uploaded two (2!) 'The Bass Player' themed (smut) one-shots. They will unfortunately never be posted in the actual story as they don't fit the current relationships in the book but you can look at them as AU's or things that happened at different times. The characters are essentially the same it's just stuff that can't happen in the story, and I personally recommend giving them a read! They're called 'Anything For You' and 'Eyes On Me' and are 2k+ each and are on my profile! 
> 
> Please comment, I love hearing your thoughts and reactions x


	38. 3.5

**_[17th of January - Nashville]_ **

Things continued in much the same fashion they started, Michael was now practically Calum's chaperone, and Luke had roped Ashton into PR planning and helping him find artists to feature on the next album. There was a tension between the two that had been there since the moment Luke had found out they were together, and if it were anyone other than Luke, Calum would have assumed he was jealous. It was Luke though, and he could tell that he was hurt more than anything, he'd made a few comments in passing while Calum had been staying with him and Calum had pieced together the real cause of the rift. Disappointment. Ashton knew how hard Luke had been working to keep things on track and he hadn't even had the decency to give Luke a heads up about the potentially catastrophic situation he was a part of. It was hard for Calum to not feel partially responsible, but Luke was more than polite and warm toward him, the issue very clearly lay between Ashton and him.

Because of all of this, though, Ashton and Calum's newly blossoming relationship was now conducted almost entirely via text message. Even when they were on the bus, they didn't climb into one another's bunks, and when they were in hotel rooms, they very rarely got bunked together. Calum wasn't sure exactly what Luke thought the issue would be if they were in a room together, but he didn't argue the point.

So, they laid in their own bunks on the moving bus, texting back and forth in an attempt not to bother Michael and Luke. They'd tried sleeping in the same bunk one night, but Ashton had rolled out onto the floor in his sleep and Calum had laughed so hard he'd woken the others up.

**Ashton Irwin**

_Miss you_

**New Message**

_We were all just at the table together_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Not the same, and you know it_

**New Message**

_Only 17 days and the tour is over_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Didn't realise you were counting_

**New Message**

_If you were next to me, I'd hit you, of course, I'm excited to get back to LA_

**Ashton Irwin**

_You gonna stay with me this time?_

**New Message**

_Let's not start this conversation right now, how was your day?_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Good, Luke had me on the phone to like three different radio stations between other shit today, but it was good_

**New Message**

_Hopefully, that means you'll have more free time on the break_ _😉_

**Ashton Irwin**

_If you weren't so embarrassed about what Michael and Luke thought, we could hang out on the bus_

**New Message**

_I just feel silly! I don't want people to think of me as your little side piece_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Would you prefer if I made it clear to everyone that I'm YOUR side piece?_

**New Message**

_Yes pls_

**Ashton Irwin**

_As soon as we go public, I will let everyone know that I am a silly old man who just does what he's told by my money hungry 21-year-old boyfriend_

**New Message**

_Can we start telling people you're 42?_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Why??_

**New Message**

_Like the idea of dating someone twice my age_

**Ashton Irwin**

_You have issues_

**New Message**

_If I didn't, we wouldn't be together, I would have had better self-esteem than to sleep with some shallow celebrity I'd known for a month_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Less than two weeks actually_

**New Message**

_???_

**Ashton Irwin**

_We'd known each other for less than two weeks before I sucked your dick for the first time_

**New Message**

_Oh god_

_We're telling people that was when we had our first date and that's it, if they ask, we still haven't had sex_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Do you want me to tell them you're a virgin?_

**New Message**

_Tell them I just recently left a convent_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Hot_

**New Message**

_What time will we get to Rogers?_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Don't know, why?_

_Wanna climb into my bed early in the morning?_

**New Message**

_You wish, I wanted to go for a walk_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Ugh, Luke will make him, or Michael go with you_

**New Message**

_I might make a pit stop by your bed if I get up early enough_

**Ashton Irwin**

_I'll make sure my hot water bottle is warm and waiting for you_ _😉_

**New Message**

_Shut up and go to bed_

**Ashton Irwin**

_Okay, good night... see you tomorrow_

**New Message**

_Night dickhead_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update cause I feel bad about leaving it so long since updating!


	39. 3.6

**_[24th of January - On the Road]_ **

“Okay, one, two, three, go!”

Calum tilted the phone up, and Michael started shouting at him immediately, “Uh... Red! London! Superman! Not many left!”

“Phone box!” Calum shouted back.

“YES!” Michael cheered victoriously, taking a swig of his drink happily, “we are clearly the superior team,” he declared, turning to grin at Luke beside him.

Ashton’s hand snaked around Calum’s waist and squeezed his hip when he turned to look at him the older man was giving him a warm smile.

“Fuck I can’t wait to go home,” Michael groaned suddenly, and Ashton and Calum’s heads snapped around to see the other pair watching them, “I miss Crystal so much,” he said, downing the last of his drink.

Calum blushed and squirmed slightly in Ashton’s embrace, “You know one day, people are going to know we’re dating? What are you going to do then?”

“You’re so old I thought you’d be dead before then,” Calum told him cheekily.

Luke and Michael’ oooed’ and laughed along with Calum, “Kids these days are so cheeky,” Michael said, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Keep making jokes about Calum being my child bride, and I’ll call your cradle snatcher girlfriends and tell them,” Ashton chastised, but a grin came across his face as he spoke.

Michael took a long drink before responding, coolly indifferent, “been meaning to ask Crystal about that, Calum, Luke and I should start a club.”

“Twinks United?” Ashton asked seriously.

“I’m not a twink, those two,” Michael pointed at Luke and Calum, “definitely. Me? No way,”

Luke and Calum rolled their eyes almost perfectly in sync, “Yeah but our girlfriends are hot, they clearly settled for us, Calum settled for you, it’s different,” Luke told him, and everyone laughed good-naturedly.

“Points have been made,” Michael declared.

Calum turned to face Ashton who gave him a fake sad face, “It’s okay baby, we both know you’re my boy toy, don’t worry about it,” without thinking he leant in and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Ashton’s nose, he pulled back and saw Luke and Michael smiling at them softly, and he blushed, shifting himself away from Ashton slightly.

Luke chuckled at them, “who knew all it would take to get Calum to act like your boyfriend around us was a bit of alcohol,”

“Imagine what a lot of alcohol could do,” Michael teased, waggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t. It’s his birthday tomorrow, he doesn’t need to be hungover, you and Calum drinking together is dangerous,” Ashton said sternly.

Michael laughed loudly, “Oh come on, we had fun, didn’t we Cal?”

Calum thought for a moment, “I only remember half of it, but the part I remember was pretty good, honestly,” he laughed before continuing bravely, “And I woke up the next morning, and Ashton had packed my bag and laid out clothes for me, and then I got to curl up on Ashton’s lap in the car, cause I was hungover and I could get away with it,” he grinned happily.

“Wanted to make out with you so bad that morning, but you smelt like JD and cigarettes,” Ashton smiled warmly at him, and tried to draw Calum closer again, the younger boy scooted further into the booth, taking his drink with him.

He started to drink it as quickly as he could, Michael and Luke laughed as Ashton tried to reach across and snatch it from his hand, but before he could manage it, the can was empty. 

“Cal, come back here, I just want to be a couple for twenty minutes,” he whined.

Calum shook his head, “I’m a virgin, I don’t want anyone to think I’m giving it away to you,”

Michael started laughing hard, “Yeah, virgins have dildos of their boyfriends’ dicks,”

Luke paused for a moment before realisation lit up his face, “Oh my god, Oh, my, god, I had that in my hand!” Luke almost screeched.

“Hey! It’s never been in me!” Calum said defensively.

“He bottomed for you?” Luke asked in disbelief.

“semi-regularly,”

Ashton blushed, _blushed_! “I told you I’m Calum’s boy toy,”

“Wait, wait, wait, let’s circle back around,” Michael announced, “You used a dildo of Ashton’s dick on Ashton?”

For once Calum was laughing, and Ashton was a bright shade of red, “It was Calum’s idea,” he said quietly.

Calum grinned, his cheeks a lovely flushed colour, not from embarrassment but from the alcohol that was steadily loosening him up, “Calum are you secretly like... a dom or something?” Michael asked his brows furrowing in confusion.

“Wouldn’t you like to know Michael,” Calum told him raising an eyebrow.

The others laughed, and Ashton moved closer subtly, “I don’t think I want to deal with a jealous Ashton,” Michael said.

Calum scoffed as Ashton slowly started to rub his knee under the table, they shared a look between the them and laughed lightly.

Luke and Michael gave them funny looks, “What?” Michael asked.

“Nothing, just Ashton’s so not the jealous type,” Calum said shrugging, “it’s frustrating as hell sometimes,” her rolled his eyes and shifted closer to the table, as he moved Ashton’s hand didn’t, so now it rested on Calum’s inner thigh, a few inches from his dick.

“I don’t have any reason to be jealous,” he said simply, kissing the side of Calum’s head.

“I’m going to fuck Michael,” Calum declared.

“That’s nice love,” Ashton said, leaning into Calum’s side and smiling into his shoulder. “You don’t love him, though, so I don’t mind. Film it for me, please?” he kissed Calum’s shoulder.

Michael was still looking at them, his face stunned, Luke was just chuckling next to him, clearly unsurprised.

“This is what I’m talking about!” Calum complained, leaning his head back against the seat. 

“I know, I’m a monster for not assuming you’re going to leave me at any given moment,” Ashton said sighing and rolling his eyes.

“Well at least neither of you are jealous types, it’d be worse if one of you was and the other wasn’t,” Luke said, Calum imagined he was trying to be diplomatic.

Michael smirked at Calum, and Ashton squeezed his thigh, “Oh Calum’s a bitch when it comes to other people I’ve slept with, I’m honestly a little afraid to introduce him to KayKay,” he said laughing.

Calum smacked him, “don’t say things like that! People will think I’m obsessed with you,” he turned to Luke, readying his defence. “Ashton’s just so casual about everything, they could have been nearly engaged, and he wouldn’t have brought it up, so I worry sometimes he’s downplaying things,”

“He’s got you there man,” Luke shrugged chuckling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than normal but, the next chapter won't be far off! Please comment and let me know what you think!


	40. 3.7

**_[25th of January - San Jose]_ **

It was Calum's birthday. They'd gone to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour the night before, and when he'd woken up, Michael and Luke had just been arriving back with McDonald's for breakfast. Ashton had climbed into his bunk while the others were out, and he'd managed to shove him out and onto the floor, as the others pulled the curtain back.

Ashton griped out something about 'where's the Calum from last night', but took a seat on the bunk opposite and smiled as he watched Michael and Luke hand off the food and presents.

"It was kind of hard to get anything good, you know 'cause, we don't exactly have a postal address," Michael explained lamely, handing Calum the McDonalds bag and then turning to rummage through his own bunk. He reappeared with a black piece of clothing in hand and thrust it into Calum's lap.

Ashton and Luke watched on as Calum unfolded what they soon saw was a hoodie. It had the European and North American tour dates on the back; he recognised the back font as one of the individual hoodies, there were three (originally four) each variations with a different band member on them.

"You bought me your own merch?" Calum asked, feigning anger.

"Stole, you my own merch," Michael corrected, grinning at him.

"I swear to god if this has Ashton's face on it," he groaned, before turning the hoodie around to find it had a photo of Michael on it instead. He started chuckling, "okay, that's actually pretty great, it's going to be my new pyjama shirt,"

"Please, especially when you're at Ashton's," Michael laughed happily, moving out of the road so Luke could step forward with a carefully wrapped parcel.

"Mine's less narcissistic, I promise," he laughed, pulling Calum into a one-armed hug from his spot on the bed, "that's from Si,"

"You guys really didn't have to get me anything, I do appreciate it though," he smiled warmly, slowly starting to work on the paper.

"You didn't say anything like that to me?" Michael said, faking offence.

Calum scoffed, "You stole my present from the merch booth last night,"

"I stole it two nights ago, thank you very much,"

He ignored him and continued working on the parcel Luke had handed him. Once he got the wrapping paper open, it became clear immediately what was in the box, and Calum tore the box open and set his eyes upon a pair of platform Doc Martens.

"Luke, this is too much! You-"

Luke interrupted him, "I've had them since you saw them in that store on Melrose, if you don't accept them, you'll break my heart," he told Calum, sighing dramatically.

"I- well okay then but it's still too much,"

After that, they got ready for the day and headed to the venue, which also involved a round of happy birthdays from Rockknot and a few of the backstage crew he'd gotten familiar with. Then came the disgustingly large bouquet of flowers that were delivered before they went on stage. They came with a note that said,

_So, everyone knows you're taken._

_Gross old man x_

Calum rolled his eyes fondly, appreciating Ashton's attempt at feigning jealousy. Everyone oohed and ahhed at the bouquet as Calum tried to hide it in the dressing room with bright red cheeks.

Zahair made a comment that he knew not to ask Calum out now, and he had to hold himself back from pulling an awful face at the thought. Then they were on stage and the boys were asking everyone to sing happy birthday to him and he was grinning and blushing, again.

It seemed after that, that Luke and Michael had agreed to give them some privacy as Ashton led Calum out to the bus, finally having time to give him his 'real' present without prying eyes. They were settled in the booth they'd all been in the night before, and Ashton nervously pulled out his phone. _If he's bought me a fucking star or something_ \- Calum's mind began.

"I want you to listen to this, I know it's not something expensive, I'll buy you something proper when we get back to LA," he explained, and Calum rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Ashton pressed play on an untitled, artwork-less song in his music app. There was a piano intro before the lyrics began and Calum could tell it hadn't been touched by a producer yet, the music was raw, and he listened closely as Luke's voice began to sing.

_"I'll never give you away. 'Cause I already made that mistake If my name never fell off your lips again. I know it'd be such a shame. When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes. You're the only thing I think I got right. I'll never give you away, 'Cause I already made, already made that mistake. Lover of mine, I know you're colour blind. I watched the world fall from your eyes, ooh. All my regrets and things you can't forget. Light them all up, kiss them goodbye-"_

Ashton stopped the song there, and Calum's heart was aching, "Do you like it? Sierra and Luke helped me over the break, and I had to spice things up a little, but the core of it is about you and me," Ashton even blushed a little, "everyone likes it, so it's going on the album, unless like you hate it,"

Calum didn't hesitate a single moment, pressing his lips against Ashton's, his arms wrapping around his neck. Pulling him as close as possible, their lips mashing.

Their lips separated, and Calum panted, "Get your pants off and get on the floor,"

"Really? On the floor of the bus? What if the others come back?" Ashton asked gobsmacked.

Calum groaned, "I'll take care of that, get naked," he pulled out of their tangle of limbs and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil off the table, scribbling, 'don't come in!!! You will regret it!' and balancing it carefully on the trim of the bus doors window.

He stripped quickly as he hurried back to where Ashton sat, now naked on the narrow floor of the bus. Somehow Calum knew this was going to change the way he ate breakfast at the table a few feet away.

"Do you want me to open you up?" Ashton asked, eyes raking over Calum's now naked form.

Calum groaned again realising that yes, he would need to be opened up, "Yes, please," he whined, "but as quickly as you can," he added. He raced down to the bunks shoving a hand in Luke's which he knew had a bottle of coconut lube; he'd smelt it the night before. Then hurried back getting down on all fours in the narrow hall, his arse pointed at Ashton. He slid the bottle backward between his legs to Ashton.

"You're so fucking hot when you're desperate for it," Ashton moaned, "wait, this isn't yours, is this Luke's?" Calum tucked his head down to look through his legs and see the older man inspecting the bottle.

"Not the time for questions. Get. To. Work." he ground out.

Ashton chuckled, and Calum heard him open the bottle and squeeze some out before he felt the familiar sensation of Ashton lubing his hole before pressing two fingers in. He moaned lowly, it hurt a little, but he was gagging for it, so he couldn't complain. Not even when Ashton was being a terrible tease and fingering him slowly, purposefully just grazing his prostate enough to make his cock ache but not enough to feel any relief. They continued like that, except the longer it went on, the more Calum pressed back and ground his hips into Ashton's fingers until Ashton was moaning at the sight and gave up on teasing and began opening him up properly. After that, he had him opened up in a few minutes and Calum was pulling away and pushing Ashton back down onto the floor.

"I didn't realise you'd be like this, I would have told you earlier," Ashton laughed, as Calum's hand pressed against his chest.

Calum rolled his eyes shaking his head, "You knew exactly what you were doing, don't play fucking coy,"

They grinned at each other for a moment before leaning forward and reaching a hand back to guide him, sinking lower and lower until Ashton's cock was inside him. They both moaned as Calum came to sit flush on the other's hips.

"You're so sexy," Ashton moaned, his arms coming up to snake around Calum's waist and he sat up just enough for their lips to meet again.

The way they kissed was like the first time, full of heavy breathing and feverish hands. Trying to pull one another impossibly closer, wanting to touch, to feel everything under their hands at once. Calum forgot where they were and what they were doing until Ashton shifted so he was sitting up properly, mouth desperately trying to reattach itself to Calum's. The new position caused Ashton's cock to move inside him and Calum let a long low moan interrupt their kiss. He kept his eyes closed, and he wrapped his arms around Ashton's neck and started riding him as best he could, pushing up off his shins and bouncing up and down with as much restraint as he could muster.

Moans came from Ashton in a continuous stream, his hands still on the younger man's waist, aiding in the rise and fall of hips. Calum let out an embarrassingly high whine as Ashton thrust up into him, he shifted forward slightly, and his dick started to rub against the other's stomach as he rode up and down. The dual sensations driving him wild, he began to feel his orgasm building, and he might have been embarrassed if this wasn't the first time they'd fucked in what felt like ages.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Calum repeated over and over as Ashton thrust up into him sporadically.

"holy shit,"

Calum's eyes flicked open and snapped toward the door, where the noise had come from. Luke and Michael were standing in the doorway, mouths, both hanging open.

"You're right, Wildflower is definitely about Calum," Luke said before locking eyes with Calum.

Calum stopped, eyes still wide and put his palms flat on Ashton's shoulders to get his attention.

Ashton turned and looked over his shoulder, "What the fuck, we put up a sign, get out!"

Calum had shrunk himself into Ashton's chest, using it to shield him from the others at the door.

"What the fuck? You didn't tell us Calum was an animal in the sack!" Michael said, astonishment clear in his voice.

Calum felt his cheeks flush, but his cock stirred, still hard, he pressed it against Ashton as subtlety as he could, trying to get friction. He watched over Ashton's shoulder as Luke found the piece of paper from earlier on the floor, and they made eye contact again. They held eye contact for a moment before Calum let his eyes shift away, looking at Ashton's neck as his cheeks flushed darker still. Part of him had wanted to keep fucking Ashton while Luke watched, it was the part of him that was still somewhat jealous of Luke, and he pushed it down.

"Stop gawking and get out or I'm never going to get to come!" Ashton called, he was stern, but Calum could tell he was so close to whining at them to leave.

Luke turned and went out the still-open door, but Michael raised an eyebrow, "c'mon, surely you'll let me watch?" he asked, and Ashton looked at Calum with a raised eyebrow, and he slowly shook his head. Then Ashton shook his head at Michael, who sighed and left, closing the door behind him. Calum pulled back from Ashton's chest but kept letting his dick drag across his stomach as he ever so slightly shifted back and forth still.

"You thought about it, didn't you? You're still so fucking hard," Ashton grinned, placing kisses across Calum's Adam's apple.

Calum whined starting to move his hips more again, "I don't think I'd want Michael to watch, maybe I'd let you watch if he and I.. you know-"

"Fucked?" Ashton asked, cutting him off.

He blushed again, "yeah... but if someone were going to watch us, I'd kind of want it to be Luke," he subconsciously started rutting faster against Ashton as he spoke.

A low chuckle came from Ashton, "you're so fucking jealous," he laughed into Calum's throat, mouthing and biting gently at the skin.

Calum started to ride him again now, "he's just so hot, and nice, can you blame me?"

"I'm honestly kind of turned on by you talking about him like that," Ashton said, his eyes raking over Calum's body as he bounced off his shins again.

"What was that he said about Wildflower?" Calum asked, panting at the effort of speaking.

Ashton moaned low in his throat before he answered, "another song I wrote, mostly about how you're the fucking king of my cock," he jerked his hips weakly again as he spoke, getting desperate to come.

This time Calum moaned, "You're obsessed with me," he declared, his pace growing more vigorous.

Ashton grunted his hands tightening on Calum's waist, "I'm maybe, kind of, almost in love with you," he said with his eyes screwed shut, a moan coming out soon after.

"Oh, god!" Calum moaned, "thank god! I wasn't ready to say it, but I'm definitely maybe, almost in love with you too," he panted.

Ashton's eyes snapped open, and they were alight with an electricity Calum had rarely seen in them, "you're so gorgeous," he declared, letting their lips meet again. They were kissing sloppily as Calum continued lazily riding Ashton, whose hips were jutting up randomly to fuck into him. One of his hands left the younger man's waist and started to jerk him in his hand. "I'm about to come, come with me," he pleaded.

After a few more sloppy thrusts Ashton came deep inside Calum, and the younger man whined lowly the sensation along with the hand on his cock slowly bringing him over the edge not long after. They both panted for a few moments, catching their breath as Ashton began to soften inside him.

"Imagine the sex we're going to have when you hear the songs properly recorded," Ashton chuckled, his breath still coming out in pants.


	41. 3.8

**_[1st of February- Travelling]_ **

"I'm not trying to start a fight, I just think we should have a serious conversation about this," Ashton said sighing.

Calum rolled his eyes, "I already told you, I'm looking for a place in West Hollywood, or like near there, okay?"

"And I already told you that's not close enough,"

"I can't afford to live in the hills," Calum said, letting out an exasperated sigh, their conversation was going the same route it had at least a dozen times before.

"I know that I'm obviously suggesting you move in with me," Ashton's tone was matching Calum's at this point.

"And I'm saying, we've only known each other for three months, that's too soon to move in together," both their voices were growing louder and Calum through a glance over his shoulder, hoping the others weren't watching. He knew they must be able to hear them, but, there was a tiny bit of pride salvageable if they couldn't see them. The quick glance told him the curtain was closed, he didn't remember doing it himself but silently thanked whoever had."Can't you just be happy that I'm moving to the same city as you?" he asked quietly, trying to bring the argument back down to a conversational volume.

Ashton sighed, "I just don't see why you should pay rent to live further away from me? It's not like you're going to be there that often anyway, you'll be on tour again next year... most likely,"

Calum groaned and went to rebuff him again when the curtain slid open, and Luke appeared, "Sorry to overhear, it's just that, you know, it's just a curtain," he explained, holding part of the curtain up as evidence. Calum rolled his eyes fondly at him, and Luke continued, "You could just come and live with me," he offered, shrugging and dropping the curtain.

"I couldn't Lu," Calum tried to say, but Luke interrupted him.

"Just have a think about it, Ash and I only live like ten minutes away from each other, and you've lived with Si and me for a bit already, and it wasn't awful. Not to mention you'd save loads of money,"

He considered it for a moment, "And I wouldn't have to live with randoms," he added thoughtfully.

"Oh, come on? You're seriously considering his offer but not mine?" Ashton asked in disbelief.

Calum rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time, and turned back to Ashton, "things are getting really serious, really quickly, I just- I don't know, want to get to know LA a little before just hopping in a bubble with you," he tried to explain.

"It's a fair point Ash," Luke said shrugging, "Calum would be the first person you've lived with that isn't Michael or me,"

Calum through Ashton a filthy look, "this is what I'm talking about, you've never even lived with anyone you've dated before, it changes things, a lot," he tried to explain.

"Oh yeah just throw it back in my face again that I'm so inexperienced, I'm just trying Cal," Ashton groaned, walking past Luke and out into the living/dining area of the bus.

Calum sighed heavily and took a seat on his bed; Luke joined him, "He's gonna go out there and complain to Michael, and Michael's going to agree with you and me, and then hopefully Ash will realise he needs to calm down," he told him quietly, rubbing Calum's back gently.

"Would you really let me live with you?" Calum asked meekly, letting himself lean over onto Luke's chest.

It was hard for Calum to remember that the Luke he was jealous of and this new, now very close friend of his were the same person. The older man patted his head, "of 'course, it was nice having you stay with us, and Si liked having someone to help tease me,"

Calum hummed, tilting his head up to look at Luke, "Maybe I come live with you guys then," he said thoughtfully.

"What if Ash doesn't get over it?" he laughed.

"Well he'll just have to look for another band," Calum told him matter-of-factly.

Luke laughed again, "would you really break up with him over this?"

Calum shook his head, "Not over this, but if he couldn't get over it then there'd be a bigger issue there, I'm sure he'll come around I think he's just feeling a little offended at the moment, but we've had this conversation so many times I'm sick of having to soften everything over and over again,"

Luke pulled him back into the bunk so they were laying down and neither of them spoke, they could hear hushed words coming from the other side of the curtain, but neither could make it out or if they could they didn't say anything.

Luke reached awkwardly around Calum, lying on his chest for his phone, which he pulled out and started calling someone.

"Hey, babe," pause, "Yeah everything's fine, just calling to let you know I brought up that thing with Cal," another break, "Yeah, yeah he did, yeah well that's Ashton isn't it?" more silence, "That's why I called, yeah okay, love you too, I'll let him know, bye, love you,"

"Si?" Calum asked after he hung up.

"Yeah, she's going to get your room ready, so you can move in when we get back,"

"Wow, you guys move fast,"

"Well we talked about it before we came back on tour, and we agreed it'd be nice to have you around. I was going to wait and ask you once we'd been back in LA for a week or two, give you and Ash some time together, thought you'd probably stay with him while you looked for places. But then you know I heard you both arguing, and I didn't want you to feel like you had nowhere to go or that you had to live with him because you had no-"

Calum cut him off chuckling, "It's okay Lu, I get it, I really appreciate it, and I think it'll be kind of fun!" he said excitedly, "And when you and Sierra go away I can trash the whole house," he rolled onto his side, so he was looking at Luke now.

Luke's eyes went wide, "Also if you want to fuck Ashton, you have to do it at his place," he pretended to shudder, "walking in on you once was enough,"

"Aw come on don't be like that," Calum jabbed him in the rib, "you obviously don't mind what Ashton looks like," he had to fight to keep a sour note out of his voice, "and I'm gorgeous," he added winking.

"it's not that, it's like- I don't know it's not you, it's Ashton, like seeing him after all these years like that is just bizarre, it feels like it's from another lifetime, I swear," he tried to explain.

"So, you don't ever think about going for one last ride?" Calum asked, unable to hold back his grin.

"You know what? Just for that, you can find somewhere else to live," Luke laughed.

They were both laughing when the curtain pulled open again, and Ashton appeared, to say it was with his tail between his legs was an understatement.

His eyes ghosted over them before making eye contact with Luke, "Lu... could I speak to Cal for a minute?"

"Ah, yeah, sure," he said, extracting himself from under Calum and leaving as quickly as he could, Calum sat up on the edge of the bunk again and raised an eyebrow at Ashton.

"So, I talked to Michael," he started, "and he helped me realise that maybe we're not- I'm not as ready for us moving in together as I thought I was. You're right; we've got time,"

Calum sighed, nodding with a smile on his face, "I know you're excited, but we'll get there, and I kind of want to live with Lu and Sierra, it'll be fun to get to sneak over to your place at 3 am," he grinned up at Ashton, whos face softened, and smiled back at him.

Ashton chuckled climbing on top of Calum's lap, "Be fun sneaking around mum and dad,"

"Luke already said, no fucking in the house," he laughed, wrapping his arms around Ashton's waist.

Ashton pretended to think, "Sounds like a challenge to me," 


	42. 3.9

**_[3rd of February- Los Angeles]_ **

They'd only had a few of rushed hours to get home and shower before they headed to the venue, Ashton had desperately tried to convince Calum to come back to his instead. He’d known that 1. They’d have been late to the venue for sure if they’d gone to his together and 2. He was actually pretty excited to get himself settled in his new room at Luke and Sierra’s.

When he'd gotten there he could have wept tears of joy, when Luke had said Sierra was going to get his room ready for him he’d thought maybe she’d change clean it and buy him some new sheets. Instead, she’d taken down the Tempted Timeless paraphernalia from the walls, and in their place, she'd put up some photos, some Luke had obviously sent her from tour and a few from the weeks he'd spent staying with them. She'd also gotten a potted plant for the room and new curtains for the window, it was all so thoughtful, and they were so tired from travelling that he may have hugged her a little too tightly, for a little too long.

After that, the three of them attended the show, at which Luke made a big deal of thanking Calum again. Then they (everyone, including the ridiculous number of friends that had made their way backstage and sporadic intervals) had headed to Luke's for the tour wrap party.

Calum stuck close to Sierra as the other three mingled with people, taking photos and shots in equal numbers. Sierra and Calum honestly weren't _that_ far behind them drink wise. Still, their pacing was a little better, so instead of screaming along to non-existent karaoke, they were in the kitchen gossiping and giggling as they tried to pour themselves more drinks.

"I'm genuinely so excited to have you live here, like Lu and I have so much fun, don't get me wrong, but it'll be fun having someone else to spend time with when we annoy each other," she was grinning widely, and a touch vacantly at him as she spoke, waving the wine glass in her hand around to exaggerate her point.

"Fair warning though, if you and Luke start fighting, I am disappearing to Ashton's until you make up, I am not getting involved in that," Calum chuckled, holding out his own glass for her to fill up.

"Ugh, you better not always be off with Ashton when I want to watch movies and make fun of Luke," she said warningly.

Calum rubbed his chin as If considering his choices and was about to try and come back with some sort of witty retort but instead, Ashton and Luke thundered through the door laughing and stumbling drunkenly.

"Oh, hello!" Luke cheered, "It's our lovely beau's," he announced happily, then he moved to Calum and placed a kiss on his cheek and Ashton a matching one on Sierra's.

"Sierra, you're not going to leave me for Calum, are you?" Ashton asked her as seriously as he could with the slight slur to his voice.

"Oh never," she said chuckling.

"I think we've made a mistake here," Luke said conspiratorially, before swapping places with Ashton, so they were standing opposite their respective partners.

Sierra giggled as Luke pulled her in by the waist for a tender kiss and Calum chuckled turning to watch them play fight, Ashton's arms snaked around Calum's middle, and his chin rested on his shoulder, joining in on observing the love birds.

"You having a good time?" he asked quietly if his tone had been different Calum might have assumed Ashton was talking about watching the others, but the softness and the warmth told him Ashton was checking in on him.

He nodded, "Yeah actually, Si and I are having fun," he said honestly.

"KayKay's out in the lounge room if you decide you want to meet her, or you know if you desperately want to avoid her," Ashton chuckled.

"You know me so well," Calum chuckled, turning to place a kiss on the older man's face.

"Okay, okay," Luke said, pulling away from Sierra, "We only came in here for a fresh Tequila bottle, we need to go," he placed another peck on her lips before reaching past her to grab the aforementioned bottle from the counter.

Calum and Sierra laughed as the pair made their way back out the door and into the lounge room, cheering to the others, that they'd found the bottle.

He smiled after them, before turning back to Sierra, "Is it hard seeing them together sometimes?" he asked.

She thought for a moment and then shook her head, "No, I suppose it's easier with Lu cause he's so open... Ashton's pretend open, but Luke told me almost straight away about them, and that it was never romantic, just physical and the more time you spend with them, the easier it is I think to see that they just aren't like that anymore," she explained.

Calum nodded but didn't say anything, he was thinking about his conversation with Luke from a few days before, he knew there was no way Luke was still interested.

Sierra continued, "Is that why we're in here alone? So, you don't run into KayKay? Does someone have a little jealousy problem?" her tone was teasing, but her eyes were piercing.

"I'm just not ready to meet her yet, she was Ashton's first serious girlfriend, and he always downplays everything, I'm just worried there's some massive 'but' hanging over it, 'they broke up but...' you know?" Calum tried to explain.

She nodded slowly, "yeah I get what you mean," she thought for a moment again, "As far as I know they just weren't working, so they went back to being friends, and that was ages ago now," she shrugged.

"Suppose I should go out and introduce myself then?" Calum said, but it came out as a question, and she gave him a soft smile and nod in response.

"I'll come with you,"

They put their glasses down on the counter and headed out into the lounge room, there were quite a few people splayed across the room, and spilling out into the backyard and pool area. Inside though, Michael had Crystal on his back, and Luke had Ashton on his, they were having some sort of battle between the two couches with everyone cheering for one side or another.

Sierra tug on his hand and led him toward the girl he'd identified as KayKay all those weeks before, she was with another woman whom Calum had never seen before, and they were chatting happily from the outset.

"Hey!" Sierra said happily, giving the girls a warm smile and a little wave, "I thought I'd bring Calum over to meet you both, Cal this is, KayKay, and this is Lana, they’re friends of the boys," she explained, gesturing to the young women as she spoke.

Calum gave them both an uncomfortable wave, "Hi Calum; we saw you performing tonight, good show," Lana said, first offering him a friendly smile.

"Yeah you did really well," KayKay agreed, "you seem like a natural up there," she complimented.

Out of his peripheral, he could see Sierra was now engaging Lana in a separate conversation, and his nerves began to mount, "yeah, well I've had a fair bit of practice now, and I'm learning so much from the guys,"

She nodded smiling, "Ash told me you know, you don't need to be so nervous," Calum's breath caught in his throat, and his surprise must have shown on his face because she continued, "I've never seen him so happy," she said with a shrug, and a grin split across her face.

He couldn't help the deep blush that covered his cheeks, "really?" he said without thinking.

She nodded the same fond smile on her face, "Really, I'm honestly a little offended, I had sort of convinced myself we didn't work cause he wasn't ready, but he's really happy with you," she laughed to her self and Calum's blush was back.

There was a massive whoop behind them, and what sounded like Crystal's scream, followed by cheering, everyone who wasn't already looking that way whipped their heads to see. Crystal and Michael were still half tangled together on the floor, laughing as Luke bounced Ashton up and down on his back, cheering at their defeat.

"Okay, Cal and Sierra you're next," Luke called, looking around the room for them.

Calum turned back to KayKay to apologise, but she was laughing and shooing him toward Luke and Ashton's death battle.

Sierra climbed on his back, and they fought valiantly, best out of three, they'd decided. The first went to Ashton and Luke, they were much bigger than Sierra and Calum, so it wasn't that surprising. However, in the second round, Calum managed to trip Luke, and he and Ashton went down. There was lots of arguing over whether it should be counted, Michael decided it should, unfortunately, though the last round went to Ashton and Luke again after that Sierra and Calum returned to the kitchen to lick their wounds and finish their wine.

"So she wasn't that bad?" Sierra asked after they'd been back in the kitchen long enough to settle back on their stools.

Calum flushed, "She said this is the happiest she's ever seen him," he admitted excitedly.

Sierra nodded knowingly, "I wouldn't worry so much, he's absolutely head over heels," she laughed.

A loud bang on the kitchen door scared them again, and Ashton made his way through, this time without his partner in crime.

"There you are!" he said happily, standing between Calum's legs, "saw you were talking to Kay,"

He nodded humming, letting his eyes focus in on Ashton's above him, "She said she's never seen you so happy," he grinned cheekily.

Ashton smiled, "she's right," he leant down, trying to press their lips together, but Calum pulled back.

"Someone might walk in,"

"No, they won't," Sierra called from the direction of the door, he wasn't sure when she'd gotten up, but he appreciated it.

Calum pressed up against Ashton's lips, he slipped his tongue into Calum's mouth, sliding his hands in under his thighs to lift him up, Calum groaned and pulled back unsure where Ashton thought he was taking him.

"Um, are we going somewhere?" he asked, laughing.

"Right there," Ashton's eyes gestured to the kitchen island.

"No! Ash, Sierra is right there, and Lu said no sex in the house," He whined.

"I'm just going to wait on the other side of the door, and I expect that counter to be well cleaned before you leave!" Sierra called, and she disappeared behind the door.

Ashton grinned and walked Calum the rest of the way back to the counter, sitting him up there, "So proud of you," Ashton told him, pecking his lips sweetly, then his hands dropped to Calum's pants, working them undone.

"Are we really going to be these people?" he whined.

"Fuck, yes we are," Ashton chuckled.

“All because I introduced myself to your ex-girlfriend?” Calum groaned, leaning his head back against the cool countertop.

Ashton hummed, lifting Calum’s shirt so he could press kisses into his stomach.

“We are emotionally inept,” Calum continued, gasping as Ashton started to kiss below his waistband.

“Oh for sure,” Ashton grinned, chuckling into the skin just above the base of Calum’s dick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is 1/3 Chapters dropping this evening, they'll probably be a little spread out as I edit them :)


	43. 4.0

**_[10th of February- Los Angeles]_ **

The thought had come to him in the wee hours of the morning after the wrap party. He’d been lying in bed, unable to sleep because his head felt like a washing machine every time he closed his eyes. He’d sat on it for almost an entire week, the idea growing larger and larger in the back of his mind until it reached a point where he had to know what the others thought. 

**New Group Message**

_ Hey, is everyone free to meet up @ Luke's for like an hour tomorrow? _

**Luke Hemmings**

_ *Our place, and yeah I'm free _

**Ashton Irwin**

_ Okay?? Should I be worried, you didn't invite me personally??? _

**Michael Clifford**

_ He clearly didn't even invite Luke personally, and they live together _

**Michael Clifford**

_ But yeah, I'm free _

**Ashton Irwin**

_ I'm free too _

**New Group Message**

_ So around 11 work? _

**Michael Clifford**

_ Yeah _

**Ashton Irwin**

_ Yep _

**Luke Hemmings**

_ *thumbs up* _

He'd chosen to send the text while Luke and Sierra were out of the house so he couldn't come and try and needle the reasoning for the meeting out of him. And Luke had attempted exactly that the next morning as they waited for the others to arrive. When they did, it was with coffees for all and nervous energy. Even Michael, who was usually cool and composed seemed on edge, and a tiny part of Calum felt guilty for worrying them so much. 

"So... why are we all here?" Michael asked, trying to seem casual, but his eyes were scanning the room nervously.

The others nodded their agreement, Ashton reached a hand across to rest on Calum's thigh, he almost felt the worst about not telling Ashton first. Still, he wanted to bring it to everyone as a group, his thought process being that he’d get the most genuine responses from them as a group.

He took a deep breath, "So, I've been thinking since- well since the wrap party actually, and I- I don't know if it's my place to say this, or I don't know, just tell me if I'm completely out of line," he glanced around the room trying to read the nervous faces looking back at him, they all seemed to opt for the same look, 'reserved encouragement'.

"Please for the love of god just tell us, my heart is in my throat," Michael said quickly.

Calum laughed, but it was choked down by his nerves, "I think we should start a new band," he forced out and looked back up from his lap, glancing across their faces, they all seemed to be thinking, no clear reactions, so he continued, "I- I know that the turnout at shows has been bad, and there's been a lot of negative press. And Michael and Luke both mentioned that you might not get resigned in May, and you've spoken about it before- before Angus. It would be like- like a fresh start, and I know it's a lot to throw on you guys, I mean- it doesn't mean Tempted Timeless has to be over, this can just be a side project and like see where it goes." He explained himself hurriedly, tripping over his words, and a flush creeping up his neck, and onto his face, he was starting to feel ridiculous, like a foolish little kid.

He looked around at them again, trying to gauge their thoughts, Luke was deep in thought, and he didn't dare look at Ashton yet, but Michael seemed to sense Calum's eyes on him, and he looked up, making eye and grinned.

"Fuck it, yeah let's do it, what's going to happen? People hate it. So what?" he turned to the others, waiting for their responses.

"I mean- we've already talked about it before, and we know how we'd logistically do it, so it wouldn't be that hard to do..." Luke trailed off, still caught up in his thoughts.

Michael and Calum turned to look at Ashton; he smiled at them, "Suppose it'd be harder for you to break up with me if we're in a band together, imagine how much harder it'll be If we're in two bands together?" he joked, " No, it seriously sounds like a really good idea babe, I'm 100% down, I think it's a brilliant idea," he leaned across and pressed a chaste kiss so Calum's lips.

"You're just saying that so I'll keep sleeping with you," he replied with an eye roll, and Michael laughed.

"No, I promise I think it's the right move, things just seem to be getting worse for Tempted Timeless, it's smart," Ashton said seriously.

"He's right; it’s also better if we start building the branding up now, instead of it seeming like we're fumbling it together, later on, this will give us time to really bring it together and make it something we're proud of," Michael told them excitedly, and Calum let a smile finally come across his face.

"We just need the boss's approval," Ashton said, and they turned back to Luke, who was pulled from his thoughts.

"I think we can do it, and with Si's help writing, I really think we could start really strong, way stronger than Tempted Timeless did," Luke said, letting a smile take over his face.

"I can't believe you guys said yes," Calum said, completely astonished, "Do you- should we ask Sierra if she wants to be a part of this?" he asked nervously.

"We can ask her, but she's pretty much said that she wants to work on her solo stuff lately, you know what happened last time she was in a group with someone she was dating," he said chuckling, and Calum flushed, "Not that- I'm not saying you and Ash, it's going to end badly, I'm just saying she's wary now,"

"I could always, not be involved," Ashton offered, shrugging, "we know loads of amazing drummers, I'm sure someone would be more than willing to drum on anything you recorded,"

"No, no way, I- I know it might not work out exactly how we want but, and I can't explain it but I need you to be a part of this, It wouldn't feel right without you," Calum said grabbing at Ashton's hand on his thigh.

Michael nodded along, "yeah no way man; if we're doing this, we're all doing this,"

"I agree, I wouldn't want to do this without it being all four of us," Luke said.

"Holy fuck," Calum said, excitement clear in his voice, "I'm actually going to be here for the fruition of a band," he grinned around and the others.

"I hate to be that guy," Luke started, and they all groaned knowing he was going to say something realistic, "but we have a lot of work to do," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter coming today!


	44. Epilogue

**_[4th of September- Los Angeles]_ **

Nearly seven months later and it was the debut of their first album, independently recorded and produced, a testament to their hard work and soon they would see the fruits (if any) of their labour. _5 Seconds of Summer_ released their first album, _Inveigle Pulse_ , on September 4th, and it was surreal.

They'd spent five months working on their sound and slowly piecing together what it was they wanted to do and what they wanted to achieve, and then once the album was finished, they spent almost two months fiddling with it and trying to come up with a name for the band and the album. In the end, Ashton had come up with the name, _5 Seconds of Summer_ , with Michael's suggestion 'No Rest for the Twinks' being a close second. Luke and Calum had slaved over the album name, and finally, with a little help from Sierra they'd decided on _Inveigle Pulse_ , the name wasn't really for anyone else beyond the five of them, and if things went well, they'd have many, many more album titles to come up with yet.

Release day had felt like both as though it was happening far too quickly and also in slow motion. There were the interviews they'd done on various radio stations and podcasts throughout the day. Flipping coins to see who would do which interviews, only one they did all together and it was for a podcast one of Michael's friends ran. Then there was the celebratory party that Calum had been far too wired to really enjoy, but he'd mingled and smiled, complimenting outfits and accepting congratulations left and right. He was incredibly grateful the party was at Luke's because it meant at random intervals, he was able to escape to his room for a moment's peace. It also meant he was able to use the toilet in his en-suite instead of the main bathroom which everyone had managed to mangle.

People came and went throughout the night, causing the party to grow and shrink at random intervals, and a stream of well-wishers to seemingly never-ending. Michael and Crystal had gone home an hour before, though they'd still stayed late after the party had finished. It hadn't been long after that and Sierra had gone to bed. Leaving Luke, Ashton and Calum sitting in the lounge room, Luke was drifting in and out of sleep on the loveseat. Calum was laying with his head and back against Ashton's chest, bum between Ashton's bent legs and was playing gently with his fingers as the older man hummed a somewhat familiar tune behind him.

"Missed you during the party," Ashton said quietly, putting his arms under Calum's armpits and tugging him closer.

"We were together the whole time," Calum chuckled.

Ashton hummed again, "I know, but we can't be together like this, couldn't even hold your hand if I wanted to," he sighed, watching as Calum continued to play with his fingers.

"Sap."

"You're so mean to me," Ashton whined.

Calum giggled, louder this time, and Luke stirred on the other couch, "Hmmm? Who's still here?" he asked, trying to adjust his blurry eyes.

"Just Ash," Calum said, rolling over, so he was lying on his side, and Ashton groaned as Calum's elbow jabbed him in the ribs. "Sorry love," he laughed, "Is it alright if Ash stays tonight?"

"I know Ashton sneaks in here every other night, why don't you just go to his?"

Calum grinned, "I know, I just like it here,"

"He's never going to move out Lu," Ashton said laughing.

"Why would I move out of mum and dad's house if I don't have to? Dad, can my boyfriend move in?" Calum asked giggling, as he did, he realised that maybe the evening's alcohol hadn't quite worked itself out of his system yet.

Luke rolled his eyes fondly and got up, climbing on top of them, "Ashton has a perfectly good house he can live in, I don't need you horn dogs under my roof all the time,"

"But I like it here, this is me refusing to move out," Calum said, rolling himself around, so he was snuggling into Luke, Ashton groaned as the pair shifted on top of him, squashing internal organs as they went.

"I don't know what I'd do if you guys actually moved in together," Luke said thoughtfully, "suppose we'd just have to hang out at Ashton's instead; his house is nice enough,"

"Would you two like me to leave so you can have a moment alone?" Ashton asked.

The pair laughed, "You know you're allowed to watch," Calum joked.

"We don't need to give people any more reason to believe that you, Sierra and I are in a thrupple," Luke said rolling his eyes and then himself off of Calum and Ashton, so he was sitting on the coffee table.

"They're going to be so devastated when we finally tell people we're dating," Calum sighed wistfully.

"You underestimate their ability to invent!" Ashton declared, "then the theory will be that we wife swap,"

"You're not sleeping with Sierra," Luke said, looking at Ashton firmly.

"You'd let me sleep with Sierra, though right?" Calum asked, Luke thought for a moment and then nodded, "but there's no way I'm letting Ashton sleep with you," Calum added.

"Oh, so only you two are allowed to fuck?" Ashton asked, rolling his eyes and shifting he and Calum, so they were spooning and facing Luke.

Luke shook his head, "you weren't listening, Calum's allowed to have sex with Sierra, and he and I are allowed to fuck, you're just not allowed to sleep with anyone,"

"What is it about me that warrants this level of cuckolding?" Ashton chuckled, kissing the side of Calum's neck.

"I don't want Sierra and I to have you in common," Luke said, shrugging.

"But you don't mind having Calum in common?"

"He's a sweet and tender lover,"

"And I'm not?"

"I'm sure Calum's improved you,"

Ashton gaped at him, and Luke and Calum chuckled, and the latter twisted around and pecked his lips, "you're perfect, and If I were physically capable I'd let you sleep with Lu to prove it, but alas, I'd have to kill you," he said sweetly.

"You're never going to grow out of being jealous, are you?" Luke asked, laughing.

Calum shook his head, "maybe once people know we're together, I don't know, I'm just a pretty jealous person," he made what looked like it was supposed to be a shrug, but it was impeded by Ashton's arm that was still snuggly around him.

"And will that be soon?"

"Maybe, it's kind of nice at the moment though,"

"Well you've been together, how long now?"

Ashton and Calum spoke at the same time.

"Ten months," Ashton said.

Calum, however, came out with, "eight and a half,"

He rolled over to look at Ashton, "ten months? Where'd you get that number from?"

"It's been like, almost exactly ten months since the first show you played with us, and then I took you into that prop room and sucked your-"

Calum cut him off covering his mouth with his hand, "We have _not_ been dating since then," he said firmly, letting his hand drop from Ashton's mouth.

Luke was laughing as he watched the chaos unfold, "well when do you think we started dating? Eight and a half months isn't right,"

"That's the time since the day you first called me your boyfriend,"

"We were dating before that!" Ashton protested.

"No! You thought you were dating me, and I was oblivious to all of this," Calum said firmly.

Laughter came from Luke again, "You two are hopeless, I swear," he shook his head, standing and pressing a kiss into the crown of Calum's head, "You're so ridiculous I forgot I'm supposed to be stressing about our album, I'm going to bed,"

"Night Lu," Calum called after the tall retreating figure.

"We should go to bed too I suppose, no point staying up, none of the reviews worth reading will be posted until tomorrow anyway,"

"You're right, I'm just excited, it's my first album," he flushed deeply, a habit he still hadn't been able to shake, even in interviews.

He climbed off the couch and helped Ashton up. They made their way to his room, going through their respective night-time routines. Ashton brushed his teeth first, then Calum, and as he finished up, Ashton returned holding out a fresh pair of pyjamas for him. They changed Ashton into a plain t-shirt and his briefs and Calum into shorts and his Michael hoodie. Then they hunkered down under the covers, Ashton throwing both his leg and his arm over Calum as they lay there.

Calum spoke after a long while of lying there, "Can you sleep?"

He felt the older man shift behind him, "not really, no," he admitted.

He twisted himself around in Ashton's arms, "Nervous? Excited?" he asked.

"Bit of both," he said honestly, running his fingers down Calum's spine as he spoke.

"Do you think you'll regret it?" Calum asked quietly.

Ashton snorted quietly, "no," he shook his head, "It's an amazing idea, I'm so proud of you. Getting to see you create something you're so proud of has been so special, I know everyone's going to love it,"

"You have to say that," Calum whined, but there was a big smile splitting across his face nonetheless.

"It's going to go ridiculously well, and we'll wake up in the morning, and you and Michael will be recognised as the songwriting geniuses you are, getting us rave reviews," he poked Calum playfully in the side as he finished.

"You and Lu wrote a lot too," Calum said defensively.

Ashton chuckled this time, "I know, but you and Michael did most of the really hard groundwork, you guys found our sound,"

"You're giving me too much credit,"

He rolled his eyes fondly, "just go to bed and the proof will be in the reviews tomorrow,"

Calum smiled back sleepily, "okay, if you say so," he rolled himself back over, and Ashton pulled him firm against his chest again.

"Love you," he whispered into the back of Calum's neck.

The younger man didn't skip a beat before replying, "love you too."

**_The End._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this ending planned for months, I'm not sure if it's necessarily what y'all wanted and/or were expecting but it's what I've intended for a long time now. I hope you've enjoyed this story, and thank you so much for all your support! If you have any one-shot requests, feel free to drop them in the comments! If you haven't checked it out there are 2 x smut one-shots based on this fic on my profile. Please let me know if you enjoyed this story, I would love to hear your thoughts. So, so, so much love to you all! 


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